“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
Fear and insecurity manifest together. Most of us struggle with feelings of insecurity. That being said, leaders must commit to laying a foundation of strong personal security.
Security provides the foundation for strong leadership. When we feel insecure, we drift from our mission whenever trouble arises. We must feel secure, or when people stop liking us, when funding drops, when morale dips or when others reject or criticize us, we will crumble. If we do not feel secure, fear will eventually cause us to sabotage our leadership.
When I was teaching high school physical education, I had a plan to implement reading as part of our curriculum. My first run at this was rocky. I had ordered a specific book that was designed for teenagers to grow and develop themselves. I decided to only implement this program with freshman students so as not to overwhelm myself during this trial process. When I told my former colleagues my plan, they kind of rolled their eyes and wished me luck; each of them with their own opinion of course. Each student had their own book and at the beginning of each class period they would come to my cart, find their book and start where they left off each day, reading for 15 minutes every day. We had block scheduling so our class periods were 90 minutes long which left plenty of time for activity. After taking attendance, I would sit down and read with them for the allotted time frame. Then for 5 minutes we would have a short discussion on some of the content.
While it sounds like this plan was perfectly executed and well-intentioned, I can not tell you how many obstacles I had to face during that semester. I had faced a lot of criticism not only from my students but from administrators, colleagues and parents. However, I stood my ground and continued with my plan. After about a month, the chirping stopped and I was finally able to do my job. Being a new teacher to the school, I was fearful of what people would think of me. I was worried that my colleagues would think I was trying to out-do their classes by making my plan seem more intelligent. When other classes would be preparing for the days activities by warming up and stretching and my students came to class, grabbed their book and sat down on the floor to read, I couldn’t help but question myself, “am I doing the right thing?” My insecurities eventually faded as I could see the changes in my students behavior and personality. My mission and purpose was being carried out the way I had envisioned. By the end of the semester I was confident that I did the right thing.
What I realized from this experience was that as I felt like the insecure person, it may have been that other’s insecurities caused me to question my own beliefs and purpose.
Insecure people share several common traits:
They don’t provide security for others
They take more than they give
They continually limit their best people
They limit or sabotage their organizations success
There are several common symptoms of insecurity:
Comparison – we compare ourselves with others and keep score
Compensation – we feel like a victim and must compensate for our losses
Competition – we become self consumed and try to outdo others
Compulsion – we feel driven to perform in order to gain others’ approval
Condemnation – we judge others or ourselves, resulting in self pity or conceit
Control – we feel we must take charge, protect our interests and manipulate
Effective leadership begins with an emotionally and spiritually healthy leader. Why must we focus on our personal security?
Leadership must flow out of ‘being’ not merely ‘doing.’
Strong character is necessary to sustain strong conduct.
Insecure leaders cause their organizations to plateau.
Personal security provides the infrastructure to support leaders in adversity.
Insecure leaders will never empower and develop secure followers.
Inward strength provides the only hope of finishing well.
When I think about leaders such as George Guzzardo and Orrin Woodward, I immediately can recognize their strength in being emotionally and spiritually healthy. They have established their identity in Christ, not in performance. They have allowed God to break them of self-sufficiency and self-promotion, thereby trusting only in God to lead them. And they have discovered and continually practice their God-given purpose in life.
If we want to develop security in our own lives, it is important to identify our basic human needs so that we know how to properly respond to these issues.
Human need #1: A sense of worth – if missing, we feel inferior.
Human need #2: A sense of belonging – if missing, we feel insecure.
Human need #3: A sense of purpose – if missing, we feel illegitimate.
Human need #4: A sense of competence – if missing, we feel inadequate.
In order to properly respond to these basic human needs, leaders should first settle the issues with God before they reach positions of influence. Our personal worth and security must come from our ‘secret history’ with God. We should never place our emotional health in the hands of another human being and we must release people from the expectation that they will meet our basic needs. We become healthy leaders only when we don’t expect others to meet the needs that only God can meet.
God equips each and every one of us to face our fears and develop strong personal security. In today’s world, we need people who are willing to develop themselves into leaders thereby reversing the cycle of decline and staying true to their convictions.
I have always had a passion for giving back and serving others. I think if we all really reflect on our purpose we will find that deep down our purpose involves selflessness and servanthood.
When we are living our purpose there is evidence all around us because not only are we more happy but those around us are happier. When I was in college I had an amazing blessing happen to me. I came home one day from school and there was a sealed envelope in my door. The front of the envelope read, ‘to the owner of this house.’ So, since I owned the house, I opened the envelope. Inside contained a letter and a $100 bill. I began to read the touching and beautiful letter and it contained the words, “random act of kindness,” “giving back,” “generosity,” ect. The only request from the sender was that I use the money to help my family and/or make a difference and help someone else. I was speechless that some stranger would leave $100 cash in someone’s door that they didn’t even know. I began investigating and asking all my friends if they did this or knew who did this. Everyone denied it and to this day I still don’t have any idea who wrote that letter and left that money.
I couldn’t possibly imagine using that money to pay a bill or give to a family member to pay a bill. Nothing like that has ever happened to me so I knew I had to do something great with it. At the time my basketball team was looking for an opportunity to give back to the community during the holidays. So after pondering on it for days we finally decided we would visit the local nursing/assisted living home in downtown Waukesha. We knew that the holidays were a tough time for them and that the residents must get lonely so we wanted to do something special for them. So with the money we visited the Dollar Store and purchased as much ‘stuff’ to fill as many goodie bags as we could. From notepads, to playing cards, candy, teddy bears, snacks, ect we must have been able to fill about 35 bags to hand out to residents. But even more fulfilling was not just handing out goodie bags to residents but the time we were able to spend with them. We met an elderly lady that was in a wheelchair and it happened to be her 100th birthday that day. You would have never known it because she had a mouth on her like a sailor and a smile on her face like a child. A group of 5 of us got our picture taken with her and her friend that day and several weeks later that picture appeared in the Waukesha Freeman, our local newspaper. It’s amazing because I can look at $100 and realize I spend more than that in a week on gas for my truck. But the value of that $100 was priceless that day as we were able to stretch that out to make a difference and put a smile on many people’s faces. The entire process was so rewarding for myself and my team and it’s all because our hearts were focused on serving others and giving back.
I once read a quote, “love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.” Barbara de Angelis
In a society that appears to be selfish and complacent, I believe there are still millions of people who sense the need to make a difference. What perfect timing for the soon to be released best seller Leadershift. And our mission is so critical right now. LIFE founder George Guzzardo states, “Preservation of freedom and liberty has always required men and women to stand up and lead.” In addition to many important qualities, leadership requires a servant heart and a passion for change. I believe Orrin Woodward and Oliver DeMille are starting a movement with their new book. People will finally know what to do and how they can play their part in making a difference. Don’t miss the launch on Tuesday, April 16th and make sure to get your copy of Leadershift and let’s go out there and change the world together.
Jesus came to compensate
For all the wrongs we do.
He came to earth to die for us,
So we’d be born anew.
“This bitter cup, let it pass from me,”
He cried, in a plaintive voice;
“Yet not My will, but Thine be done;”
He said, in His faithful choice.
The Judas kiss would seal his fate;
He faced a hostile crowd;
The governor, Pilate, saw through it all;
Jesus’ guilt he disavowed.
“I wash my hands of all of this,”
Said Pilate, “Let Him be.”
But the crowd yelled “Crucify him now,
And set Barabbas free!
“Pilate yielded to their wish;
And Jesus was led away.
The soldiers beat him, and mocked Him, too,
Yet He continued to obey.
A crown of thorns lay on His head,
As His sentence was carried out;
His hands and feet were pierced with nails,
But He did not scream or shout.
“Father, forgive them for this crime;
They know not what they do.”
He said this despite His torment, because,
He was thinking of me and you.
“It is finished,” he sighed in His anguish and pain,
As His body gave up to death.
The curtain tore, and darkness fell,
After He took His last breath.
The best of the story is the very last part;
It’s why on Easter we’re filled with pleasure:
Death could not our Savior hold;
His power is beyond all measure.
He rose from the grave, and was seen all around;
Ever since, He’s inspired devotion,
And we’ll be with Him for eternity,
When we get our heavenly promotion.
That’s why Easter is a major event:
He suffered and died in our place.
He rose and forgave us and loves us still,
Our Savior of matchless grace.
Within us all is a craving to belong. I don’t think any person goes through life saying, “I wish I was all alone.” That being said, community is a very important aspect to a person’s life. Of all the groups of people I have associated with, the LIFE business community, created by Orrin Woodward, George Guzzardo and five other leadership masterminds has to be the most special.
From the time I was young I was connected to a community. It started at a young age where I associated with reading buddies, intramural sports, summer camps and rec leagues. Then it moved to study groups, varsity athletics, volunteer projects and social networking. From there it moved to employment groups, college athletics, bar league softball and winter rec sports. There has never been a time in my life where I wasn’t associated with some type of community group. While it was enjoyable and a great learning experience in the moment, it became very overwhelming because I was spinning plates trying to commit to so many different organizations. It also seemed that most of the groups I belonged to were for entertainment purposes and added very little value to my future.
It wasn’t until I was introduced to the LIFE business that I found a real community that added tremendous value to my life!
I began associating at weekly meetings with people who had a common vision that aligned with a similar purpose to mine. These people were so different than what I was used to; positive, uplifting, motivated, loving and servant men and women. It was a culture shock when I first got around them because I wasn’t used to this type of environment. I was always so used to being around gossip, negativity and selfishness that I didn’t know if I should even trust this group. But it didn’t take long for me to adjust because in the process of figuring out if these people were really real, I was developing an addiction to the environment.
My addiction and craving turned into passion where I began to fall in love with the LIFE community.
For the first time in my life I had found my sense of belonging. Almost every other organization I was associated with prior made me adjust to who they were and in the LIFE business community I could finally discover who I was and be accepted for who I was while making personal changes in the process. In George Guzzardo’s article, Association, the 3rd C he says, “A community like this helps clarify our purpose. Associating with those who have a high standard of performance builds greater commitment to learning and changing.” I didn’t realize how much I needed to change and grow until I associated with people who were so much further along in the journey. I just wanted to model their character, servant heart and leadership skills.
I never could have imagined in my life I would be blessed to join a community like the LIFE business. It has given me proof that this connection was truly God ordained.
Most communities I was used to being a part of left spirituality out. In fact, the only time I remember bringing God into my prior associations was when I was playing college basketball. Right before every game in the locker room my coach would get us in a circle and we would all hold hands and say a prayer as a team. That was the first time I had experienced the word of God in a community setting. While the LIFE business doesn’t claim to be a religious organization, Orrin Woodward and the founders believe that God’s hand has blessed our community and by His grace and love we have been given a gift to share that blessing with others. And in the process, many people will discover and develop a deeper relationship with their Creator. I couldn’t imagine going through life without this community. I have been blessed with many friends and mentors who I love dearly and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world and I don’t believe there is anything else out there that compares to the LIFE community. I encourage you, if you are looking for that sense of belonging that has been the missing link in all your other associations, you will find it here in the LIFE business!
We all have secrets/baggage; things in our life we prefer not to talk about. It may be attached to guilt, shame or pride and that’s why we choose to keep it hidden. We are afraid of what people might think if they only knew. I feel like sometimes we hold onto baggage like a security blanket that we never want to get rid of. The truth is, I have a big piece of baggage that I have kept a secret for a while and I am finally ready to let it go. Many prayers were said before I made the decision to write this so I pray that it inspires you to let go of some of the baggage you carry in your life.
Recently I have been studying the book of Matthew (again). It simply summarizes Christ’s birth, His walk on earth and His death and resurrection and gives us scriptural evidence through narrative history, parables and sermons proving that Jesus is our healer, our protector and our Savior.
Ironically, one of the first books of the bible I was encouraged to study when I first began my spiritual walk was Matthew. God certainly has a sense of humor as He sends me back around to study the very book that saved me only a handful of years ago. Let me explain:
When I was in 8th grade I remember sitting at the lunch table at school with my friends, staring at my bag of food, frustrated with a situation that had happened at home that morning. Situations seemed to happen a lot at that time. I was angry and I didn’t know how to handle those feelings. I believe it was the angriest I had ever been up to that point in my life. I remember getting up, throwing my lunch in the trash and sitting in a bathroom stall waiting for my next class to start. I went about my day, quiet and distant, went to basketball practice and went home still angry not understanding why I couldn’t let go of this feeling.
It was a subtle change at first. I would ‘forget’ my lunch at home, lie about not having money and tell people I just wasn’t hungry. I was 14 years old, no one even had a clue… not even me! I was a perfectionist, an extreme-ist and always had been; strived to get straight A’s, worked out extra hard to be the best athlete in whatever sport I played and always tried to please everyone! It was a sickness that had led to my sickness.
I was really good at hiding it too. Like I said, I didn’t really know that what I was doing was wrong but I was smart enough to know that I loved the way it made me feel. I was in complete control over ME! I made it through 8th grade and no one knew my secret. At the time I was living with my mom during the week and my dad took us on the weekends and I was a master at telling stories. So even they didn’t have a clue. Victory!! I started at a new HS where I made new friends, had new coaches and new teachers. By about mid-freshman year I knew exactly what I was doing and I had mastered my problem… although I didn’t admit it was a problem of course. I joined the swim team in the fall, basketball in the winter and softball in the spring. The following year I joined the cross country team, basketball team and the track team. And from April through August each year I was playing AAU basketball. I was active every chance I could get. I appeared to be a happy, motivated, hard working kid that loved life. This went on for two more years without anyone knowing (at least I was never confronted during this time). Then the summer going into my junior year of high school I hit a breaking point. I had torn my ACL for the first time in a summer league basketball game going up for a lay-up. I was ‘out of commission’ due to surgery and rehab that summer and my little problem grew worse and worse. At the time, basketball was my passion, my emotional escape and my life. I was determined to get back on the court as quickly as possible and I knew I made a lot of people angry with my ‘rushed’ recovery because I came back way too soon. I was pretty stubborn to say the least. And because of how I was destroying my body, I was not physically strong enough to come back yet. If you have ever had an injury that stopped you from doing something that you love, you know what it feels like. I only had control over one thing at the time – and it was the only thing that kept me going. It was around then when people started to recognize something wasn’t right and that maybe they should say something. Due to some family struggles, I had been spending a lot of time sleeping at my best friend Jessica’s house. I remember sitting in their living room with Jess and my AAU basketball coach (at the time) and mentor today Dave Chatmon (Jess’s dad) and I knew something was up. They were the first to confront me and I remember getting up and leaving, denying everything and being so angry with the both of them. Anytime the conversation came up from them I avoided it. And it wasn’t until I was sitting in my HS Varsity coaches training office (a few months later) the day before a big game that it hit me. They ALL knew! They told me, “Kristen, we know you have an eating disorder and that you have been starving yourself. And you need to get help!” My secret was out and I didn’t know what to do. I feared the worst and the worst happened. I was told that I would be sitting out of every game and every practice until I got healthy. I was told I needed to see a psychologist, a counselor and a nutritionist before I could get back on the court again. In that moment I had lost all strength. Every emotion I had let dwell inside of me for years came out in the form of tears. They were now in control of MY life.
Have you ever been told you have to do something in order to get something that you want so you do it just to please them but later it comes back to bite you in the butt? Well that’s exactly what happened. I followed protocol, ‘admitted’ I had a problem, ‘fixed’ the problem and a couple months later (just before the season had ended) I was allowed to practice and play again. Although you and I both know, nothing had been fixed… they only put a band-aid over the problem to cover the wound by making me do things I was not ready to do.
During the next few years I had only minor struggles with my ED. I was so focused on college, playing basketball year round, working and trying to get a fresh start in my life that I managed to escape from my little secret for a while and get my life in order. I had bought a house, started a business, my basketball career was going well, I finally picked a profession (after changing my major 3 times) that I wanted to get a degree in. Life seemed to be going well!
Let me remind you that during this time I had no clue who Jesus Christ was. I had never picked up a bible, rarely attended a church and didn’t have any spiritual mentors in my life.
Around my junior year of college so many things were happening. I was working full time on 3rd shift from 8pm until 8am 3-4 nights a week, I was going to school full time from 9am-3pm with some night classes, I was playing college basketball where our practices went from 4pm-6/7pm every day and games 2 nights a week and on weekends and then I was having to go back into work after practices. I was also making strong attempts to build a business. There were multiple days on end where I wouldn’t sleep at all. I’m sure I shaved off of few years of my life during that time. On top of that my grandpa was dying, my mom was going through major personal struggles, my dad’s alcoholism was at it’s worst and I didn’t know how to handle any of it anymore. I had lost control of the life I had neatly put back into order just a few years back.
But this time I knew EXACTLY what I was doing. No one that had met me in college knew my past so I knew it wouldn’t be hard to hide it. I had more freedom and privacy than I ever did in HS, I was so busy I barely had time to even think about eating so I knew it wouldn’t be hard for me fight through the physical pain. I had lost a lot of friends because I never had time to spend with them so I wasn’t worried about my friend’s finding out. Before I knew it I had done more damage in 10-12 months than I did in 3.5 years. I dropped 45 lbs in a matter of a couple months (mostly muscle) because I was in pretty good shape back then and working out a lot, I had less than 10% body fat (which is very low for females) and plateaued for a while and experienced every physical and mental health symptom a person with an eating disorder experiences.
This time however, the changes appeared so drastically and I felt so horrible that even I was scared. I confided in one friend during college of my battle and told no one else. I was never confronted by anyone during that year and looking back I know it was for the better. That friend was the first person who started talking to me about God. I was 21 years old and someone finally had the courage to ask me if I believed in Jesus Christ. I don’t remember the exact words she told me but I do remember how I felt after we talked. I wanted this to end, I wanted to be healthy and I wanted to live. I bought my first bible that next year but had no clue how to read it. It was so frustrating. I wanted some passage to jump out at me and slap me in the face while giving me a warm hug at the same time but none of that happened and none of it made sense.
It was around then when I attended another TEAM leadership convention and I was walking through the tool room and found the book, The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren on the ‘discounted books’ table. I bought it and didn’t tell anyone because I was so embarrassed of my ignorance; or probably just too prideful. At the bottom of the cover it read, “What on earth am I here for?” Exactly the question I had been asking myself for years. I was sure this was the book that would help me start my faith walk. At the time I was so obsessed with working out that once basketball season ended I would go to the cardio center on campus and spend hours burning more and more calories. Except after I bought this book I wanted to be more productive with my reading so I figured out how to walk on a steep incline and read at the same time where I would walk for 2-3 hours a day reading this book. It completely drew me in and started to answer a lot of questions I had never understood.
I was recommended through the TEAM training system to subscribe to the AGO faith CD’s (ERM at the time), that too started to put more pieces of the puzzle together. During this entire process I was slowly recovering from my eating disorder and I didn’t even recognize the changes that were happening. My excessive exercising turned into a normal workout routine, I slowly started to forget to weigh myself each day (which that was my controlled accountability at the time) and I didn’t worry as much about every calorie I was consuming. It too was a subtle change, but this time in the right direction. I knew God had a grip on me I just hadn’t yet surrendered to Him.
The friend that I had confided in sent me a text with the verse from Matthew 11:28-30. I read it, “Come to me all you who are weary and overburdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” In this verse Jesus says, “Come to Me.” It’s God’s invitation. I will make your life easier. I will lighten your load. You will have relief. You will have release. You will have rest. You will have rejuvenation. Give Me control and care of your life and watch what I do. Life will get so much easier and less stressful.
It was in that moment that I had given Him control. It was one of the few times in my life up to that point that I found peace. I thought, “if what my friend, the Bible, these CD’s and that book say is true, then I should have nothing to worry about. God has it under control.” The recovery process was so natural that the healing took place with very little discomfort. It seems like it would be almost impossible looking back. I had no support except for one friend who knew what was going on, I had no professional help and I was still living a crazy lifestyle. But it certainly wasn’t impossible with God! I wasn’t angry with anyone, I never had to see another counselor, psychologist or nutritionist to ‘fix’ my problem, all I needed was Christ in my life. He has the power to heal all things!
Just like any addiction, a piece of it always stays with you. In the years since I have been tempted many times due to circumstances that would trigger my ‘control’ meter. I would let my control meter grab me for a week or two and then Jesus would save me again. He always has my back, He always saves me from myself and my poor thinking.
And it wasn’t too much longer after that I was mentoring with LIFE founder George Guzzardo. He knew that I was starting my spiritual walk and helped in the process of understanding scripture and how to read the bible. The time came where he asked me if I had committed my life to Christ in the form of baptism, and if I was ready to do that? I knew I was ready, George didn’t know my story at the time but I knew what Christ was doing in my life and it was no accident. Baptism was the perfect beginning of my journey because when I make a commitment, I keep my commitment. I was blessed to be baptized by two amazing men of faith – Orrin Woodward and George Guzzardo. A moment I will never forget.
My journey is still only just beginning. I have so much to learn and so many people to serve. But the reason I share this is because as I was going through the book of Matthew again, I found that passage that my friend had texted me that led to my salvation. If it wasn’t for my eating disorder, I may have never found a reason to surrender my life to Christ. And if it wasn’t for Christ I may have never recovered from my disorder. We are all led to Him in different ways. So I want to leave you with a couple questions:
What baggage are you carrying around that is separating you from a deeper relationship with Christ?
What secrets are you keeping from others that need to be revealed?
Do you believe in the power of healing?
There are very few people in my life who know this testimony. In fact, if I didn’t think it had the potential to convict at least one person, I probably would not have shared it (it is way too personal for my own comfort). But I have received so much confirmation recently that it would have been selfish of me not to finally reveal it. We all have something that’s hidden deep inside us that we are afraid to let go of; that warm security blanket that we’ve been carrying around for years. It’s time to leave it at the cross; because God is in control and He is the ONLY one who will save you from yourself.
“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” Saint Augustine
Imagine this if you will. Your elderly grandma asks you to take her to the grocery store because she doesn’t drive. You already know that this little shopping trip will be more than just an in and out ordeal (as you would prefer it to be) but because you love her you agree to take her. 2.5 hours later you are finally in the check out isle ready to leave. You pull up the car, gently assist her into the vehicle and frantically throw the bags into the backseat. In her soft, precious voice she asks, “Kristen, can you take me… and I have to also go… and can you drop this off at…” With a grin that appears to be a smile, you patiently say, “yes, grandma. No problem!” In the meantime you have 5 missed calls, an appointment to get to across town and a snow storm is heading your way. You prepare by reminding yourself this is great quality time with grandma and all of the sudden quality time turns into stress and rushed time. Grandma doesn’t know it because you want to make her happy but inside your stomach is turning because you have so much to do in so little time. When it’s time to drop grandma off at the house, you unpack all her bags, throw the items in the refrigerator and she says, “Oh no Kristen! I forgot toilet paper.”
I can’t tell you how many times I have been in this situation. It’s funny to look back and think about all the times I lost my patience; waiting for someone to pick me up and they were 30 minutes late (and yet they were doing me a favor), sitting in traffic yelling at the cars in front of me (when they were just as late as I was), staring at the clock in class because I just wanted to get out of there (but yet I was paying money to be there), changing subjects mid conversation with someone because I had heard the story 10 x already… I could definitely keep going!
When I started to understand how toxic impatience can be to relationships, it forced me to think more deeply about how I approach daily tasks and interactions with people. Contrary to what I wanted to believe, impatience is a major personality flaw. Impatient people appear to be more frustrated, insensitive, overbearing and sometimes arrogant. People who are impatient often interrupt others, walk at a speedy pace, always appear to be on edge, rushed and stressed. I know this because I have been there. In fact, I have to remind myself often to practice patience because impatience is such a strong personality flaw that I do have. However, a lot of my impatience is internal that builds up from stress. I let it manifest in my gut and eventually it comes out in the form of a negative attitude towards others. Can anyone else relate?
I have so much respect for someone with a lot of patience. Dictionary.com says patience is an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay or to endure discomfort without complaint. Patient people have a quiet and calm demeanor, they steadily persevere, are even tempered, great listeners, maintain composure when faced with difficult situations and tend to be more emotionally stable people. I think a lot of us could agree that we often fall into both categories depending on the situation. And while writing this, I had to ask myself which category I would fall into most often. Just like everything in LIFE, patience is a skill that needs to be learned. Here are some things I do to ‘slow down’ and practice patience:
Go for a walk or a run – great anxiety and stress reliever
Read – specifically scripture or books that focus on personal development
Call a mentor or friend – sometimes you just need to vent
Help/serve someone else
Listen to audios or uplifting music
Write
Some of you may have children or a spouse and that requires even more patience so you may have different strategies than I do. But I am sure all of us could stand to work on our patience and find ways to slow down. Check out how patient this amazing dog is for this cute little boy who just wanted to stop and play in the puddle:
Too cute, I know! But we can learn a lot from these little guys too. Relationships are important to me and I believe impatience can be most detrimental when it affects our interactions with others. We have such great examples in the-life-business of men and women such as Orrin and Laurie Woodward, Chris and Terri Brady, George and Jill Guzzardo and all of the LIFE founders who practice patience with humility and grace. They live by the principle in scripture, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12
I hope that you will join me in the development of patience as we venture out into a hurried world and affect change in the lives of many people.
I had a revelation the other day. I was talking with a friend I hadn’t seen since college and it forced me to reflect on the old days. I’m sure we have all done that a time or two. But this time seemed to stick a lot longer in my reflection. We had been extremely close friends for a couple years (still are), almost scary how similar our life’s struggles had been and the commonalities we shared. I know God connected us for a reason. I was thinking about her a lot and missed her so I decided to shoot her a text to see how she was doing and to tell her I was thinking about her. Our communication was as if no time had passed. She was one of my best friends; but upon thinking about our conversation, I couldn’t help but realize a lot of time had passed that I let slip through my fingers. How did that happen? Why did I let that happen?
Don’t you often feel like it was just yesterday that… and you realize it’s been 5 years since then. Then you start to think about how fast the time has passed and eventually analyze whether that time was invested in the things that matter most to you. I have had that moment more times than once recently so it moved me to write this post.
Psalm 90:12 says, “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Wisdom means knowledge of what is true or right. I feel that many times we don’t live our life with wisdom. We chase after mediocrity (sometimes) unknowingly, we fall victim to the world’s perception of ‘what’s right & wrong,’ we let days, weeks, months and even years pass with grudges in our heart; I could go on and on. Then we reflect on our life and get anxious because so much time has passed with little accomplishment. What I find even more profound is that this revelation happens to each and every one of us at some point and yet many people do nothing with it.
As Chris Brady recently stated in his article, “Motivational Myths” many people have heard or said the phrase, it’s never too late. “But there is one certainty as reliable as taxes: there IS a time when it’s too late. When you’re dead, it’s too late! Or when you’ve blown the important relationships in your life, it is probably too late. Or when you have destroyed your health, it’s too late! There IS a too late!”
So we have to stop living as if we have forever. We don’t have forever and there is a too late! And with that I comprised a list of daily habits I can commit to in order to ensure that I am living each day with wisdom:
Tell the people you love that you love them.
Evaluate priorities and ensure that the most important priorities are accomplished.
Encourage everyone you come into contact with.
Smile.
If you are thinking about someone, tell them you are thinking about them.
I know what you are thinking. How simple! But how many times do the simple things get lost and neglected in the chaos of life. I love the-life-business because it gives people a light into their future. It tells people that change is important, that people are important and that life is important. If it wasn’t for Orrin Woodward, George Guzzardo and all the LIFE founders, who had the courage years ago to develop wisdom and decide to live a life of excellence I know that my life may have been lived with many regrets. There is really no way to show that appreciation except by following their example and leading others to the same information so they too can have that same opportunity.
I heard this song on a Christian radio station the other day and thought it would end this article well.
Please feel free to add to my list above in the comments section. We will all benefit from them.
“But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Mark 13:32
How does one define their finest moment? When we hear the phrases, “This is my time. This is my moment. This is my hour” we often think of something glorious… in a worldly way; the winning shot at the buzzer, a long football pass that leads to a touchdown as the clock runs out or the perfect high note in a singing audition. In the-life-business, Orrin Woodward uses the phrase, “dream-struggle-victory.” And many people might agree that it is the ‘victory’ that defines a person’s finest moment. While it may look that way, many people’s finest moment does not occur when the lights shine upon them or when the crowd is cheering.
“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” — M. Scott Peck
Let’s take Jesus for example. Jesus’ “finest hour” was different. Unlike in the movies or what we hear in the media, Jesus’ moment was anything but glorious by worldly standards. His hour was when He was lifted up on the cross; and it was anything but magnificent in the eyes of those who were there. They actually considered it as a defeat, even his disciples did. But it was Christ’s finest moment, for through His crucifixion He paid the price of our salvation. In his disfigured bloody body, He defeated sin and Satan. And there was nothing pretty about it.
A soldier’s finest moment is not when he receives a medal of honor, but it is when he is in the battle field; where he is fighting for his life and his country. Because only in the battlefield can a soldier know how much courage and self-sacrifice he really has. No soldier gets a medal of valor sitting around the camp.
A coach’s finest moment is not when he took his team to National’s as the underdog and won the championship game. It was when we was sitting in a locker room with all his athlete’s who were crying and ready to quit because they were so discouraged and he was able to influence and motivate them to practice harder, study harder and play harder than any other team in the country.
Here is a fantastic video that helps sum up this article:
It may be discouraging to know that our finest moments usually occur when we are in the trenches of life. Life’s hardship can be overwhelming. Our fears, anxiety and emotions can overpower us. They can devastate us and bring us down to our knees. But adversities reveal to us who we really are. It shakes all that is superficial and leaves what is real. Strength can only be confirmed when it is tested. The strength of a tree and its roots can only be tested amidst the winds of a storm. The strength of ship can only be known if it survives the tempest of the sea. All that is weak shall fall. But if you stay strong and faithful, you will discover that it was in those darkest hours that you had your finest moments.
In the-life-business, Orrin Woodward never claims that the journey will be easy. The world is the enemy’s playground and with that comes daily struggles. One of my favorite quotes comes from my mentor George Guzzardo. He says, “Be at peace with the process and nothing can hurt you.” You will find that your finest moments came when you were at your worst, embrace them.
I would love to hear your feedback. What were some moments in your life that you can look back on as your finest moments? Please comment below.
Recently I have been reviewing Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady’s best selling book, Launching a Leadership Revolution. This was the first leadership book I ever received and read and I have re-read and studied this book more times than I can even count. I absolutely love it and it’s a favorite of mine. My most recent talk for the-life-business was at an open meeting where we reviewed the three levels of motivation found in Woodward and Brady’s book.
When you begin to study motivation, it really does motivate you! I spent some time talking with a woman who was 82 years old the other day. She was in an assisted living facility where, because of some health issues, she couldn’t take care of herself on her own anymore. Her husband had already passed away and she only had one son who never married and moved away about 13 years ago. I could tell there was an emptiness inside her as her only son calls about once a month and has only visited once since she first moved in over a year ago. I began to ask some questions about her life and some of the memories she had from when she was younger. But the responses I got were completely not what I expected. I knew this was a divine appointment.
Looking back on her life, she shared some regrets. Her first regret was not having more children. In her generation, it was not uncommon for families to be 5-10 children deep. She had mentioned that in her earlier days, prior to being married, she experienced sexual abuse which scared her to the point that she never wanted to get married or have children. She said that if it wasn’t for the stigma and pressure for women to be married back then, she might have been alone her entire life. She carried that fear with her and was never able to resolve it even after having a child. She said her second regret was not having a better relationship with her son. She knew that he was her priority but because she couldn’t erase the memories from her past, she just ‘did what she had to do’ to raise her son but that was it. As he grew up, he became more and more distant to the point where he moved out at 16 years old. Her son is now in his early 50′s and he too never got married or had children. Her last regret was that she feels like she wasted most of her life by living in the past. She told me that as a child, she wanted to be an actress and travel all over the world. She loved being in the spotlight and making people happy and said she was a very lovable young lady. After the abuse, she couldn’t imagine being in the spotlight. She gave up on all her dreams and isolated herself from the world for years. After she married, she said her relationship with her husband was cold and distant and she said if it wasn’t for her commitment to God at the alter, she would have never stayed with him. “We were basically roommates” She said.
Today, looking back she wishes she would have pursued her dream of acting. She wishes she had a better relationship with her husband and son and she wishes she could go back in time and start over and live a more purposeful life. Now she lives with the pain of regret. Upon learning all this, I feared asking her about legacy because I didn’t want to hurt or offend her, but ended up asking anyways since she seemed to be very comfortable around me. I proceeded with, “Now I know I am young but I think about this all the time. I think about my actions today as a reflection of my legacy later. I don’t know how long I will be here so I want to make sure my actions count now. Have you thought about your legacy and what type of legacy you would like to leave behind?” I may be a bit naive but again her response surprised me. She told me that practically her entire life she didn’t even think about the end of her life. She focused so much on things in the moment that the future rarely entered her subconscious. She knew that if she thought about the future, it would guilt her into changing and pursuing something bigger. She felt safe in her mediocre lifestyle and was afraid of letting go of her past. She was trapped in her own thoughts and found peace there. But now looking back she says she thinks about legacy all the time. Although now she feels it’s too late. I tried to encourage her and offer some suggestions so that she could find peace with her regrets and still leave a positive legacy. I also asked if I could share her story with others to give hope to those struggling with an addiction, abuse, trauma, divorce, neglect or any other crisis so they could hopefully overcome those struggles and still be able to live a life of significance and not look back on their life with regrets. She was so delighted by that and I could just feel the weight of regret being lifted off her shoulders. I told her I would help her leave a legacy that will impact so many lives through her story. I will also continue to visit her and help her relive the positive memories from her past and share comments from people who have been impacted by her story.
In the beginning I mentioned that I was going to discuss the three levels of motivation found in Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady’s book and now you may be wondering why I shared this long story of a woman you don’t even know. It’s because the deepest level of motivation (Level 3) is purpose, destiny and legacy. All motivation comes from within. You are responsible for discovering what motivates you. Level 1 – Material success and level 2 – recognition and respect are, in my perspective, short term and short lived. You will always have level 1 and level 2 ‘motivators’ but if after you think about those, you are still laying on the couch watching TV, then chances are you are not motivated by them. Eventually you will need to get in touch with the deepest level of motivation – purpose, destiny and legacy. It may not be a primary motivator right away and that is why it is level 3. My prayer is that you think about it, discover it and pursue it.
This lady (who will remain nameless until I ask her permission to use her full name), understands now more than ever that life is so short. And if we are going to do something that’s going to impact the world, we need to start now. As Jill Guzzardo says, “you don’t have a thousand years to do this.” George Guzzardo says, “In all of civilization, our history has only lasted just a dot.” We have a big job to do if we are to change the cycle of decline our country is facing right now. It is our responsibility and our legacy to leave for the next generation. What will you do with your life that will be remembered throughout history?
Please share/comment at the bottom of this post how this one woman’s story has impacted you. She will be overfilled with joy to know that it’s not too late for her to make an impact and leave a legacy. Your comments do matter!
Also, take a look at this fantastic talk Orrin Woodward shared on Legacy:
I am continually impressed with the information that the-life-business offers its members and customers. Orrin Woodward and the other founders have developed a program that allows people to learn and grow in all areas of their life. Very few people I talk to think they have it all figured out so with the LIFE information we can truly reach a ton of people and make a big impact just by introducing new information into their lives.
6 years ago… LOST
One of the areas that I can’t seem to get enough of is the category of faith. Anyone who knew me even 4+ years ago knows that I was so ignorant when it came to faith. Had I not been introduced to the LIFE information in the faith category I don’t know what my life would look like today because I was headed down a path of destruction. I had made many decisions that were not pleasing to God. In fact, the more bad decisions I made, the more I wanted nothing to do with God. So every day I was creating a larger gap in my potential to get to know Him. But then I started to hear some truth that slowly started to close that gap. Christ said, “Come as you are, I have forgiven you.” And so began my journey of spiritual healing and a relationship with my Creator.
What I love so much about LIFE is that the information does not teach you WHAT to believe, it just teaches you to know WHY you believe what you believe. And then essentially once you know ‘why’ you will finally know ‘what’ to believe because the truth will hit you like a 90 lb sledgehammer. I didn’t know what I believe so of course I didn’t have a reason why; and so many people I talk to are in the same place. LIFE founder Tim Marks says, “Eternity is a long time to be wrong.” So why not at least investigate the information and figure it out for yourself. After all, you are the one who will deal with the consequences.
We don’t know how much time we will be given on earth. I feel a strong sense of urgency to lead people to truth that will affect them eternally. There are way too many people that I care about in my life that don’t know God; trust me I have been there too. And I am so grateful someone cared enough about me to lead me to Him. Now I feel responsible to pay it forward.
This is one of my favorite songs and anytime I get confused, angry, scared or sad I play this song because it reminds me of how much God loves me (and you):
I understand that one blog article will not be enough to reach the masses of people who don’t have a relationship with Christ. That’s where the-life-business comes in. We have our hands on information that will teach forgiveness, mercy, strength, hope, love, obedience, prayer and grace. I encourage you, if you are struggling in this area, please take a look at the AGO (All Grace Outreach) subscription and don’t be afraid to discuss your questions with someone you trust. Life is temporary but eternity is forever.
Today… FOUND
I would love to hear your feedback. Testimonials are so important when it comes to belief in anything. If you have had any stories as it relates to faith or a testimony you would like to share, please don’t hesitate to comment below. You may not think it’s a big deal but your story could help someone who doesn’t know Christ.
so you may have different strategies than I do. But I am sure all of us could stand to work on our patience and find ways to slow down. Check out how patient this amazing dog is for this cute little boy who just wanted to stop and play in the puddle:
