Within us all is a craving to belong. I don’t think any person goes through life saying, “I wish I was all alone.” That being said, community is a very important aspect to a person’s life. Of all the groups of people I have associated with, the LIFE business community, created by Orrin Woodward, George Guzzardo and five other leadership masterminds has to be the most special.
From the time I was young I was connected to a community. It started at a young age where I associated with reading buddies, intramural sports, summer camps and rec leagues. Then it moved to study groups, varsity athletics, volunteer projects and social networking. From there it moved to employment groups, college athletics, bar league softball and winter rec sports. There has never been a time in my life where I wasn’t associated with some type of community group. While it was enjoyable and a great learning experience in the moment, it became very overwhelming because I was spinning plates trying to commit to so many different organizations. It also seemed that most of the groups I belonged to were for entertainment purposes and added very little value to my future.
It wasn’t until I was introduced to the LIFE business that I found a real community that added tremendous value to my life!
I began associating at weekly meetings with people who had a common vision that aligned with a similar purpose to mine. These people were so different than what I was used to; positive, uplifting, motivated, loving and servant men and women. It was a culture shock when I first got around them because I wasn’t used to this type of environment. I was always so used to being around gossip, negativity and selfishness that I didn’t know if I should even trust this group. But it didn’t take long for me to adjust because in the process of figuring out if these people were really real, I was developing an addiction to the environment.
My addiction and craving turned into passion where I began to fall in love with the LIFE community.
For the first time in my life I had found my sense of belonging. Almost every other organization I was associated with prior made me adjust to who they were and in the LIFE business community I could finally discover who I was and be accepted for who I was while making personal changes in the process. In George Guzzardo’s article, Association, the 3rd C he says, “A community like this helps clarify our purpose. Associating with those who have a high standard of performance builds greater commitment to learning and changing.” I didn’t realize how much I needed to change and grow until I associated with people who were so much further along in the journey. I just wanted to model their character, servant heart and leadership skills.
I never could have imagined in my life I would be blessed to join a community like the LIFE business. It has given me proof that this connection was truly God ordained.
Most communities I was used to being a part of left spirituality out. In fact, the only time I remember bringing God into my prior associations was when I was playing college basketball. Right before every game in the locker room my coach would get us in a circle and we would all hold hands and say a prayer as a team. That was the first time I had experienced the word of God in a community setting. While the LIFE business doesn’t claim to be a religious organization, Orrin Woodward and the founders believe that God’s hand has blessed our community and by His grace and love we have been given a gift to share that blessing with others. And in the process, many people will discover and develop a deeper relationship with their Creator. I couldn’t imagine going through life without this community. I have been blessed with many friends and mentors who I love dearly and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world and I don’t believe there is anything else out there that compares to the LIFE community. I encourage you, if you are looking for that sense of belonging that has been the missing link in all your other associations, you will find it here in the LIFE business!
I was learning about the concepts of leadership development as I was making my way through college so I had a pretty clear picture of what real leadership was as I was seeking employment. In my first year of teaching I was placed in a charter school in the inner city of Milwaukee. Just like any college graduate, I was excited to start my career and I didn’t care where I taught as long as I could get a job. I went into it with high expectations knowing I finally had the opportunity to work with professionals who cared about what they did, worked hard and supported their co-workers and students. What I didn’t anticipate was the lack of leadership in the building.
Guzzardo says, “leadership includes qualities like vision, integrity, morality, competency, work ethic, hunger, and servant-hood. Those qualities can be applied to our personal lives, professional lives and our businesses. Looking around the world can you recognize the void in leadership? An entrepreneur always looks for a void to fill and there is no greater void than leadership.”
This void was evident when I started working for this school. It is always expected that administration would be the first line of support when it comes to leadership. We have all witnessed in business what happens when leadership is lacking. Accountability suffers, tension and pressure rises, support is minimal, passion is non-existent and laziness sets in. For a first year teacher, the most difficult task is finding a system that works for you as you develop relationships with your students while creating an environment for growth and learning. When leadership from the ‘top down’ doesn’t exist it makes it nearly impossible for your system to work.
This particular school was K-12. I taught physical education and health and was responsible for creating the health curriculum for the elementary branch because there was nothing in place when I was hired. I remember very clearly a situation that happened between myself and the assistant principal. I was entering the door of a 5th grade classroom ready to teach a topic to the students. Because of the demographics of this school, I was constantly challenged with behavioral problems and fighting. After the first couple of weeks I knew what to anticipate each day as I entered the doors of these classrooms. This particular class was extremely difficult and of course I had no support from the classroom teacher. As soon as I came in, the classroom teacher would leave the room and take their prep with little communication about what was going on with the students. Long story short, a fight broke out that day between two boys while I was teaching. I took the necessary steps to try and de-escalate the situation before the fight happened but it was too late. According to their peers, these boys were going at it all morning and it only took an unfamiliar face to give them a reason to ‘finish the job.’ I called down to the office immediately to get help from security and administration to get these boys removed from the classroom. As soon as security came and took them the assistant principal had the nerve to stand in front of my class and announce to the students that I was a first year teacher who didn’t have much experience working with inner city youth. To get information about why the fight broke out, she did a question/answer session with the rest of the students to get details on what happened with the two boys. I was fuming with anger as I stood in the back of the room watching this all unfold. Not once did she communicate with me to get information, she failed to call in the regular classroom teacher to get her perspective on the situation and worse she put this image of me as an ignorant, inexperienced teacher in their heads. Working in a school like that requires thick skin and a very strong demeanor. I was finally starting to develop that with these kids and with just a few words she destroyed my ability to teach these students. I knew they would never give me the attention and respect that was needed to be their teacher and ultimately that’s exactly what happened for the entire semester. Each time I went into that classroom I was fighting for respect and each day I left I was defeated all because of the lack of leadership displayed from that administrator.
I don’t think I need to list all the things that were inappropriate and unprofessional with this situation, it is clearly obvious. And the reason I share this example is because it’s proof that when leadership is lacking, it affects everyone and everything.
Not only do we need leadership back in our schools, our churches, our local businesses and our families, we need leadership back in our country. The leadership in our country is obsolete, that too is obvious. But instead of griping and moaning about what isn’t getting done in the White House, we need to instead point the finger back at ourselves and ask what we are doing to affect change in our own lives.
The-life business is all about taking information that makes a difference in people’s lives and sharing it with others for the purpose of affecting change. Partner that with the TEAM training system which focuses on the development of leaders and you have what I like to call a leadership development empire. Guzzardo states, “There has never been a more important time for a leadership movement.” There is a void in leadership everywhere we look. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Will you join forces as 10′s of thousands of people carve their piece out of the leadership development empire that will soon change millions of lives?
We all have secrets/baggage; things in our life we prefer not to talk about. It may be attached to guilt, shame or pride and that’s why we choose to keep it hidden. We are afraid of what people might think if they only knew. I feel like sometimes we hold onto baggage like a security blanket that we never want to get rid of. The truth is, I have a big piece of baggage that I have kept a secret for a while and I am finally ready to let it go. Many prayers were said before I made the decision to write this so I pray that it inspires you to let go of some of the baggage you carry in your life.
Recently I have been studying the book of Matthew (again). It simply summarizes Christ’s birth, His walk on earth and His death and resurrection and gives us scriptural evidence through narrative history, parables and sermons proving that Jesus is our healer, our protector and our Savior.
Ironically, one of the first books of the bible I was encouraged to study when I first began my spiritual walk was Matthew. God certainly has a sense of humor as He sends me back around to study the very book that saved me only a handful of years ago. Let me explain:
When I was in 8th grade I remember sitting at the lunch table at school with my friends, staring at my bag of food, frustrated with a situation that had happened at home that morning. Situations seemed to happen a lot at that time. I was angry and I didn’t know how to handle those feelings. I believe it was the angriest I had ever been up to that point in my life. I remember getting up, throwing my lunch in the trash and sitting in a bathroom stall waiting for my next class to start. I went about my day, quiet and distant, went to basketball practice and went home still angry not understanding why I couldn’t let go of this feeling.
It was a subtle change at first. I would ‘forget’ my lunch at home, lie about not having money and tell people I just wasn’t hungry. I was 14 years old, no one even had a clue… not even me! I was a perfectionist, an extreme-ist and always had been; strived to get straight A’s, worked out extra hard to be the best athlete in whatever sport I played and always tried to please everyone! It was a sickness that had led to my sickness.
I was really good at hiding it too. Like I said, I didn’t really know that what I was doing was wrong but I was smart enough to know that I loved the way it made me feel. I was in complete control over ME! I made it through 8th grade and no one knew my secret. At the time I was living with my mom during the week and my dad took us on the weekends and I was a master at telling stories. So even they didn’t have a clue. Victory!! I started at a new HS where I made new friends, had new coaches and new teachers. By about mid-freshman year I knew exactly what I was doing and I had mastered my problem… although I didn’t admit it was a problem of course. I joined the swim team in the fall, basketball in the winter and softball in the spring. The following year I joined the cross country team, basketball team and the track team. And from April through August each year I was playing AAU basketball. I was active every chance I could get. I appeared to be a happy, motivated, hard working kid that loved life. This went on for two more years without anyone knowing (at least I was never confronted during this time). Then the summer going into my junior year of high school I hit a breaking point. I had torn my ACL for the first time in a summer league basketball game going up for a lay-up. I was ‘out of commission’ due to surgery and rehab that summer and my little problem grew worse and worse. At the time, basketball was my passion, my emotional escape and my life. I was determined to get back on the court as quickly as possible and I knew I made a lot of people angry with my ‘rushed’ recovery because I came back way too soon. I was pretty stubborn to say the least. And because of how I was destroying my body, I was not physically strong enough to come back yet. If you have ever had an injury that stopped you from doing something that you love, you know what it feels like. I only had control over one thing at the time – and it was the only thing that kept me going. It was around then when people started to recognize something wasn’t right and that maybe they should say something. Due to some family struggles, I had been spending a lot of time sleeping at my best friend Jessica’s house. I remember sitting in their living room with Jess and my AAU basketball coach (at the time) and mentor today Dave Chatmon (Jess’s dad) and I knew something was up. They were the first to confront me and I remember getting up and leaving, denying everything and being so angry with the both of them. Anytime the conversation came up from them I avoided it. And it wasn’t until I was sitting in my HS Varsity coaches training office (a few months later) the day before a big game that it hit me. They ALL knew! They told me, “Kristen, we know you have an eating disorder and that you have been starving yourself. And you need to get help!” My secret was out and I didn’t know what to do. I feared the worst and the worst happened. I was told that I would be sitting out of every game and every practice until I got healthy. I was told I needed to see a psychologist, a counselor and a nutritionist before I could get back on the court again. In that moment I had lost all strength. Every emotion I had let dwell inside of me for years came out in the form of tears. They were now in control of MY life.
Have you ever been told you have to do something in order to get something that you want so you do it just to please them but later it comes back to bite you in the butt? Well that’s exactly what happened. I followed protocol, ‘admitted’ I had a problem, ‘fixed’ the problem and a couple months later (just before the season had ended) I was allowed to practice and play again. Although you and I both know, nothing had been fixed… they only put a band-aid over the problem to cover the wound by making me do things I was not ready to do.
During the next few years I had only minor struggles with my ED. I was so focused on college, playing basketball year round, working and trying to get a fresh start in my life that I managed to escape from my little secret for a while and get my life in order. I had bought a house, started a business, my basketball career was going well, I finally picked a profession (after changing my major 3 times) that I wanted to get a degree in. Life seemed to be going well!
Let me remind you that during this time I had no clue who Jesus Christ was. I had never picked up a bible, rarely attended a church and didn’t have any spiritual mentors in my life.
Around my junior year of college so many things were happening. I was working full time on 3rd shift from 8pm until 8am 3-4 nights a week, I was going to school full time from 9am-3pm with some night classes, I was playing college basketball where our practices went from 4pm-6/7pm every day and games 2 nights a week and on weekends and then I was having to go back into work after practices. I was also making strong attempts to build a business. There were multiple days on end where I wouldn’t sleep at all. I’m sure I shaved off of few years of my life during that time. On top of that my grandpa was dying, my mom was going through major personal struggles, my dad’s alcoholism was at it’s worst and I didn’t know how to handle any of it anymore. I had lost control of the life I had neatly put back into order just a few years back.
But this time I knew EXACTLY what I was doing. No one that had met me in college knew my past so I knew it wouldn’t be hard to hide it. I had more freedom and privacy than I ever did in HS, I was so busy I barely had time to even think about eating so I knew it wouldn’t be hard for me fight through the physical pain. I had lost a lot of friends because I never had time to spend with them so I wasn’t worried about my friend’s finding out. Before I knew it I had done more damage in 10-12 months than I did in 3.5 years. I dropped 45 lbs in a matter of a couple months (mostly muscle) because I was in pretty good shape back then and working out a lot, I had less than 10% body fat (which is very low for females) and plateaued for a while and experienced every physical and mental health symptom a person with an eating disorder experiences.
This time however, the changes appeared so drastically and I felt so horrible that even I was scared. I confided in one friend during college of my battle and told no one else. I was never confronted by anyone during that year and looking back I know it was for the better. That friend was the first person who started talking to me about God. I was 21 years old and someone finally had the courage to ask me if I believed in Jesus Christ. I don’t remember the exact words she told me but I do remember how I felt after we talked. I wanted this to end, I wanted to be healthy and I wanted to live. I bought my first bible that next year but had no clue how to read it. It was so frustrating. I wanted some passage to jump out at me and slap me in the face while giving me a warm hug at the same time but none of that happened and none of it made sense.
It was around then when I attended another TEAM leadership convention and I was walking through the tool room and found the book, The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren on the ‘discounted books’ table. I bought it and didn’t tell anyone because I was so embarrassed of my ignorance; or probably just too prideful. At the bottom of the cover it read, “What on earth am I here for?” Exactly the question I had been asking myself for years. I was sure this was the book that would help me start my faith walk. At the time I was so obsessed with working out that once basketball season ended I would go to the cardio center on campus and spend hours burning more and more calories. Except after I bought this book I wanted to be more productive with my reading so I figured out how to walk on a steep incline and read at the same time where I would walk for 2-3 hours a day reading this book. It completely drew me in and started to answer a lot of questions I had never understood.
I was recommended through the TEAM training system to subscribe to the AGO faith CD’s (ERM at the time), that too started to put more pieces of the puzzle together. During this entire process I was slowly recovering from my eating disorder and I didn’t even recognize the changes that were happening. My excessive exercising turned into a normal workout routine, I slowly started to forget to weigh myself each day (which that was my controlled accountability at the time) and I didn’t worry as much about every calorie I was consuming. It too was a subtle change, but this time in the right direction. I knew God had a grip on me I just hadn’t yet surrendered to Him.
The friend that I had confided in sent me a text with the verse from Matthew 11:28-30. I read it, “Come to me all you who are weary and overburdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” In this verse Jesus says, “Come to Me.” It’s God’s invitation. I will make your life easier. I will lighten your load. You will have relief. You will have release. You will have rest. You will have rejuvenation. Give Me control and care of your life and watch what I do. Life will get so much easier and less stressful.
It was in that moment that I had given Him control. It was one of the few times in my life up to that point that I found peace. I thought, “if what my friend, the Bible, these CD’s and that book say is true, then I should have nothing to worry about. God has it under control.” The recovery process was so natural that the healing took place with very little discomfort. It seems like it would be almost impossible looking back. I had no support except for one friend who knew what was going on, I had no professional help and I was still living a crazy lifestyle. But it certainly wasn’t impossible with God! I wasn’t angry with anyone, I never had to see another counselor, psychologist or nutritionist to ‘fix’ my problem, all I needed was Christ in my life. He has the power to heal all things!
Just like any addiction, a piece of it always stays with you. In the years since I have been tempted many times due to circumstances that would trigger my ‘control’ meter. I would let my control meter grab me for a week or two and then Jesus would save me again. He always has my back, He always saves me from myself and my poor thinking.
And it wasn’t too much longer after that I was mentoring with LIFE founder George Guzzardo. He knew that I was starting my spiritual walk and helped in the process of understanding scripture and how to read the bible. The time came where he asked me if I had committed my life to Christ in the form of baptism, and if I was ready to do that? I knew I was ready, George didn’t know my story at the time but I knew what Christ was doing in my life and it was no accident. Baptism was the perfect beginning of my journey because when I make a commitment, I keep my commitment. I was blessed to be baptized by two amazing men of faith – Orrin Woodward and George Guzzardo. A moment I will never forget.
My journey is still only just beginning. I have so much to learn and so many people to serve. But the reason I share this is because as I was going through the book of Matthew again, I found that passage that my friend had texted me that led to my salvation. If it wasn’t for my eating disorder, I may have never found a reason to surrender my life to Christ. And if it wasn’t for Christ I may have never recovered from my disorder. We are all led to Him in different ways. So I want to leave you with a couple questions:
What baggage are you carrying around that is separating you from a deeper relationship with Christ?
What secrets are you keeping from others that need to be revealed?
Do you believe in the power of healing?
There are very few people in my life who know this testimony. In fact, if I didn’t think it had the potential to convict at least one person, I probably would not have shared it (it is way too personal for my own comfort). But I have received so much confirmation recently that it would have been selfish of me not to finally reveal it. We all have something that’s hidden deep inside us that we are afraid to let go of; that warm security blanket that we’ve been carrying around for years. It’s time to leave it at the cross; because God is in control and He is the ONLY one who will save you from yourself.
“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” Saint Augustine
Imagine this if you will. Your elderly grandma asks you to take her to the grocery store because she doesn’t drive. You already know that this little shopping trip will be more than just an in and out ordeal (as you would prefer it to be) but because you love her you agree to take her. 2.5 hours later you are finally in the check out isle ready to leave. You pull up the car, gently assist her into the vehicle and frantically throw the bags into the backseat. In her soft, precious voice she asks, “Kristen, can you take me… and I have to also go… and can you drop this off at…” With a grin that appears to be a smile, you patiently say, “yes, grandma. No problem!” In the meantime you have 5 missed calls, an appointment to get to across town and a snow storm is heading your way. You prepare by reminding yourself this is great quality time with grandma and all of the sudden quality time turns into stress and rushed time. Grandma doesn’t know it because you want to make her happy but inside your stomach is turning because you have so much to do in so little time. When it’s time to drop grandma off at the house, you unpack all her bags, throw the items in the refrigerator and she says, “Oh no Kristen! I forgot toilet paper.”
I can’t tell you how many times I have been in this situation. It’s funny to look back and think about all the times I lost my patience; waiting for someone to pick me up and they were 30 minutes late (and yet they were doing me a favor), sitting in traffic yelling at the cars in front of me (when they were just as late as I was), staring at the clock in class because I just wanted to get out of there (but yet I was paying money to be there), changing subjects mid conversation with someone because I had heard the story 10 x already… I could definitely keep going!
When I started to understand how toxic impatience can be to relationships, it forced me to think more deeply about how I approach daily tasks and interactions with people. Contrary to what I wanted to believe, impatience is a major personality flaw. Impatient people appear to be more frustrated, insensitive, overbearing and sometimes arrogant. People who are impatient often interrupt others, walk at a speedy pace, always appear to be on edge, rushed and stressed. I know this because I have been there. In fact, I have to remind myself often to practice patience because impatience is such a strong personality flaw that I do have. However, a lot of my impatience is internal that builds up from stress. I let it manifest in my gut and eventually it comes out in the form of a negative attitude towards others. Can anyone else relate?
I have so much respect for someone with a lot of patience. Dictionary.com says patience is an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay or to endure discomfort without complaint. Patient people have a quiet and calm demeanor, they steadily persevere, are even tempered, great listeners, maintain composure when faced with difficult situations and tend to be more emotionally stable people. I think a lot of us could agree that we often fall into both categories depending on the situation. And while writing this, I had to ask myself which category I would fall into most often. Just like everything in LIFE, patience is a skill that needs to be learned. Here are some things I do to ‘slow down’ and practice patience:
Go for a walk or a run – great anxiety and stress reliever
Read – specifically scripture or books that focus on personal development
Call a mentor or friend – sometimes you just need to vent
Help/serve someone else
Listen to audios or uplifting music
Write
Some of you may have children or a spouse and that requires even more patience so you may have different strategies than I do. But I am sure all of us could stand to work on our patience and find ways to slow down. Check out how patient this amazing dog is for this cute little boy who just wanted to stop and play in the puddle:
Too cute, I know! But we can learn a lot from these little guys too. Relationships are important to me and I believe impatience can be most detrimental when it affects our interactions with others. We have such great examples in the-life-business of men and women such as Orrin and Laurie Woodward, Chris and Terri Brady, George and Jill Guzzardo and all of the LIFE founders who practice patience with humility and grace. They live by the principle in scripture, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12
I hope that you will join me in the development of patience as we venture out into a hurried world and affect change in the lives of many people.
I had a revelation the other day. I was talking with a friend I hadn’t seen since college and it forced me to reflect on the old days. I’m sure we have all done that a time or two. But this time seemed to stick a lot longer in my reflection. We had been extremely close friends for a couple years (still are), almost scary how similar our life’s struggles had been and the commonalities we shared. I know God connected us for a reason. I was thinking about her a lot and missed her so I decided to shoot her a text to see how she was doing and to tell her I was thinking about her. Our communication was as if no time had passed. She was one of my best friends; but upon thinking about our conversation, I couldn’t help but realize a lot of time had passed that I let slip through my fingers. How did that happen? Why did I let that happen?
Don’t you often feel like it was just yesterday that… and you realize it’s been 5 years since then. Then you start to think about how fast the time has passed and eventually analyze whether that time was invested in the things that matter most to you. I have had that moment more times than once recently so it moved me to write this post.
Psalm 90:12 says, “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Wisdom means knowledge of what is true or right. I feel that many times we don’t live our life with wisdom. We chase after mediocrity (sometimes) unknowingly, we fall victim to the world’s perception of ‘what’s right & wrong,’ we let days, weeks, months and even years pass with grudges in our heart; I could go on and on. Then we reflect on our life and get anxious because so much time has passed with little accomplishment. What I find even more profound is that this revelation happens to each and every one of us at some point and yet many people do nothing with it.
As Chris Brady recently stated in his article, “Motivational Myths” many people have heard or said the phrase, it’s never too late. “But there is one certainty as reliable as taxes: there IS a time when it’s too late. When you’re dead, it’s too late! Or when you’ve blown the important relationships in your life, it is probably too late. Or when you have destroyed your health, it’s too late! There IS a too late!”
So we have to stop living as if we have forever. We don’t have forever and there is a too late! And with that I comprised a list of daily habits I can commit to in order to ensure that I am living each day with wisdom:
Tell the people you love that you love them.
Evaluate priorities and ensure that the most important priorities are accomplished.
Encourage everyone you come into contact with.
Smile.
If you are thinking about someone, tell them you are thinking about them.
I know what you are thinking. How simple! But how many times do the simple things get lost and neglected in the chaos of life. I love the-life-business because it gives people a light into their future. It tells people that change is important, that people are important and that life is important. If it wasn’t for Orrin Woodward, George Guzzardo and all the LIFE founders, who had the courage years ago to develop wisdom and decide to live a life of excellence I know that my life may have been lived with many regrets. There is really no way to show that appreciation except by following their example and leading others to the same information so they too can have that same opportunity.
I heard this song on a Christian radio station the other day and thought it would end this article well.
Please feel free to add to my list above in the comments section. We will all benefit from them.
“But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Mark 13:32
How does one define their finest moment? When we hear the phrases, “This is my time. This is my moment. This is my hour” we often think of something glorious… in a worldly way; the winning shot at the buzzer, a long football pass that leads to a touchdown as the clock runs out or the perfect high note in a singing audition. In the-life-business, Orrin Woodward uses the phrase, “dream-struggle-victory.” And many people might agree that it is the ‘victory’ that defines a person’s finest moment. While it may look that way, many people’s finest moment does not occur when the lights shine upon them or when the crowd is cheering.
“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” — M. Scott Peck
Let’s take Jesus for example. Jesus’ “finest hour” was different. Unlike in the movies or what we hear in the media, Jesus’ moment was anything but glorious by worldly standards. His hour was when He was lifted up on the cross; and it was anything but magnificent in the eyes of those who were there. They actually considered it as a defeat, even his disciples did. But it was Christ’s finest moment, for through His crucifixion He paid the price of our salvation. In his disfigured bloody body, He defeated sin and Satan. And there was nothing pretty about it.
A soldier’s finest moment is not when he receives a medal of honor, but it is when he is in the battle field; where he is fighting for his life and his country. Because only in the battlefield can a soldier know how much courage and self-sacrifice he really has. No soldier gets a medal of valor sitting around the camp.
A coach’s finest moment is not when he took his team to National’s as the underdog and won the championship game. It was when we was sitting in a locker room with all his athlete’s who were crying and ready to quit because they were so discouraged and he was able to influence and motivate them to practice harder, study harder and play harder than any other team in the country.
Here is a fantastic video that helps sum up this article:
It may be discouraging to know that our finest moments usually occur when we are in the trenches of life. Life’s hardship can be overwhelming. Our fears, anxiety and emotions can overpower us. They can devastate us and bring us down to our knees. But adversities reveal to us who we really are. It shakes all that is superficial and leaves what is real. Strength can only be confirmed when it is tested. The strength of a tree and its roots can only be tested amidst the winds of a storm. The strength of ship can only be known if it survives the tempest of the sea. All that is weak shall fall. But if you stay strong and faithful, you will discover that it was in those darkest hours that you had your finest moments.
In the-life-business, Orrin Woodward never claims that the journey will be easy. The world is the enemy’s playground and with that comes daily struggles. One of my favorite quotes comes from my mentor George Guzzardo. He says, “Be at peace with the process and nothing can hurt you.” You will find that your finest moments came when you were at your worst, embrace them.
I would love to hear your feedback. What were some moments in your life that you can look back on as your finest moments? Please comment below.
Recently I have been reviewing Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady’s best selling book, Launching a Leadership Revolution. This was the first leadership book I ever received and read and I have re-read and studied this book more times than I can even count. I absolutely love it and it’s a favorite of mine. My most recent talk for the-life-business was at an open meeting where we reviewed the three levels of motivation found in Woodward and Brady’s book.
When you begin to study motivation, it really does motivate you! I spent some time talking with a woman who was 82 years old the other day. She was in an assisted living facility where, because of some health issues, she couldn’t take care of herself on her own anymore. Her husband had already passed away and she only had one son who never married and moved away about 13 years ago. I could tell there was an emptiness inside her as her only son calls about once a month and has only visited once since she first moved in over a year ago. I began to ask some questions about her life and some of the memories she had from when she was younger. But the responses I got were completely not what I expected. I knew this was a divine appointment.
Looking back on her life, she shared some regrets. Her first regret was not having more children. In her generation, it was not uncommon for families to be 5-10 children deep. She had mentioned that in her earlier days, prior to being married, she experienced sexual abuse which scared her to the point that she never wanted to get married or have children. She said that if it wasn’t for the stigma and pressure for women to be married back then, she might have been alone her entire life. She carried that fear with her and was never able to resolve it even after having a child. She said her second regret was not having a better relationship with her son. She knew that he was her priority but because she couldn’t erase the memories from her past, she just ‘did what she had to do’ to raise her son but that was it. As he grew up, he became more and more distant to the point where he moved out at 16 years old. Her son is now in his early 50′s and he too never got married or had children. Her last regret was that she feels like she wasted most of her life by living in the past. She told me that as a child, she wanted to be an actress and travel all over the world. She loved being in the spotlight and making people happy and said she was a very lovable young lady. After the abuse, she couldn’t imagine being in the spotlight. She gave up on all her dreams and isolated herself from the world for years. After she married, she said her relationship with her husband was cold and distant and she said if it wasn’t for her commitment to God at the alter, she would have never stayed with him. “We were basically roommates” She said.
Today, looking back she wishes she would have pursued her dream of acting. She wishes she had a better relationship with her husband and son and she wishes she could go back in time and start over and live a more purposeful life. Now she lives with the pain of regret. Upon learning all this, I feared asking her about legacy because I didn’t want to hurt or offend her, but ended up asking anyways since she seemed to be very comfortable around me. I proceeded with, “Now I know I am young but I think about this all the time. I think about my actions today as a reflection of my legacy later. I don’t know how long I will be here so I want to make sure my actions count now. Have you thought about your legacy and what type of legacy you would like to leave behind?” I may be a bit naive but again her response surprised me. She told me that practically her entire life she didn’t even think about the end of her life. She focused so much on things in the moment that the future rarely entered her subconscious. She knew that if she thought about the future, it would guilt her into changing and pursuing something bigger. She felt safe in her mediocre lifestyle and was afraid of letting go of her past. She was trapped in her own thoughts and found peace there. But now looking back she says she thinks about legacy all the time. Although now she feels it’s too late. I tried to encourage her and offer some suggestions so that she could find peace with her regrets and still leave a positive legacy. I also asked if I could share her story with others to give hope to those struggling with an addiction, abuse, trauma, divorce, neglect or any other crisis so they could hopefully overcome those struggles and still be able to live a life of significance and not look back on their life with regrets. She was so delighted by that and I could just feel the weight of regret being lifted off her shoulders. I told her I would help her leave a legacy that will impact so many lives through her story. I will also continue to visit her and help her relive the positive memories from her past and share comments from people who have been impacted by her story.
In the beginning I mentioned that I was going to discuss the three levels of motivation found in Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady’s book and now you may be wondering why I shared this long story of a woman you don’t even know. It’s because the deepest level of motivation (Level 3) is purpose, destiny and legacy. All motivation comes from within. You are responsible for discovering what motivates you. Level 1 – Material success and level 2 – recognition and respect are, in my perspective, short term and short lived. You will always have level 1 and level 2 ‘motivators’ but if after you think about those, you are still laying on the couch watching TV, then chances are you are not motivated by them. Eventually you will need to get in touch with the deepest level of motivation – purpose, destiny and legacy. It may not be a primary motivator right away and that is why it is level 3. My prayer is that you think about it, discover it and pursue it.
This lady (who will remain nameless until I ask her permission to use her full name), understands now more than ever that life is so short. And if we are going to do something that’s going to impact the world, we need to start now. As Jill Guzzardo says, “you don’t have a thousand years to do this.” George Guzzardo says, “In all of civilization, our history has only lasted just a dot.” We have a big job to do if we are to change the cycle of decline our country is facing right now. It is our responsibility and our legacy to leave for the next generation. What will you do with your life that will be remembered throughout history?
Please share/comment at the bottom of this post how this one woman’s story has impacted you. She will be overfilled with joy to know that it’s not too late for her to make an impact and leave a legacy. Your comments do matter!
Also, take a look at this fantastic talk Orrin Woodward shared on Legacy:
For a long time I did not understand the power of dreaming; until I started learning from and associating with leaders like Orrin Woodward and George Guzzardo who are founders in the-life-business, From the time we are children we are told to dream big and never let anyone stop us from pursuing those dreams. But then as we grow up, we are told to get real or stop fantasizing on something that will never happen. What happened? When did life give us permission to stop dreaming?
As I write this and look around my bedroom, I never realized it but my room is full of wall hangings, pictures and nic-naks that say “Dream” or “Never give up” or “If you can dream it you can do it.” I even have a dream board hanging next to my closet so when I look for my clothes in the morning I am reminded again of what my dreams are. There must be about 10 reminders in my room to dream. But because I see them everyday, they don’t serve the same purpose as actually visualizing my dream or pursuing my dreams. Just as with all my reminders, we can get so used to the way things are that we forget what we are chasing after.
When I was younger I only had one dream and that was to be a professional basketball player and play for the New York Liberty in the WNBA. For as long as I could remember that was always on the forefront of my mind as I fought my way through the intense sport of basketball for as many as 18 years. When I realized that dream wasn’t going to come true, I started to shrink all other possibilities in my life too eventually throwing in the towel, like so many others do, when it comes to dreaming. I believe the reason so many people quit dreaming is for the fear of disappointment, pain and rejection. It’s just easier to not dream. Dreaming requires sacrifice, hard work and commitment. So is it any wonder why so many people quit dreaming?
The other night I had a great talk with my twin brother who has always done things polar opposite from me. You hear stories of most twins who are inseperable, have so many things in common and do everything together. Well that couldn’t have been further from the truth for Craig and I; he was gifted in media and technology while I was gifted in athletics, he was very sociable while I was very quiet and reserved, he didn’t like to learn in school while I loved to learn. It’s true we didn’t have anything in common but when it came to passion and dreaming in our adult life, we both share that commonality very well. It wasn’t until we both found something we were passionate about that we discovered this similarity.
Craig didn’t know it at the time but he was meant to be a musician. Check out this cute video of him playing the piano at about 2 years old:
Craig went 20 years pursuing hobbies that he thought were his dreams. How many of us can relate? It wasn’t until a handful of years ago (after he graduated college) that he discovered his passion for music – more specifically the piano. He had never played a musical instrument in his life so he didn’t know a thing about reading sheet music or understanding keys. Ultimately Craig taught himself how to play the piano. Still to this day he can only play by ear. While he knows he has a lot to learn, Craig can visualize himself playing in front of 10′s of thousands of people. He can see himself producing records. He told me the other night that he has recorded every piece of music he has ever played even from the first day he started and that when he dies, those recordings will be very valuable. Craig says that when he is playing, it’s euphoric (he is in a state of intense and unbelievable happiness). He says he has never felt this way about anything before. Craig can see his dream so clearly that it is only a matter of time before he is living his dream.
You saw the before – now check out a piece of the after, it speeds up towards the end and he starts to sing also:
Do you have a dream that is so clear, so vivid that you are only moments away from living it? Imagine the life with no dreams? It is not too late. If you still have breath, you can still dream. The-life-business provides a vehicle for non-dreamers to begin to dream again. That’s what it did for me! Orrin Woodward says, “the limiting factor on your success is not the size of the obstacles, but the size of your dream.” Don’t waste anymore time pursuing a life that is dream-less. Dig deep and discover the gifts you have, re-ignite the passion that has been inside you all along and never give up on pursuing your dreams.
Please share how the-life-business or any other vehicle has helped you to dream again. More specifically, what are some of those dreams you are chasing after?
Blessings, Kristen
Feel free to check out www.craigseidl.com for more information on his wedding photography and videography business.
In the last handful of years I have been studying people who have significant success in life. While it would be safe to say that having a good job and a loving family rises to the top of the charts for success, unfortunately, it’s not a reality. I have sat down with a lot of people and discussed topics that range from fun, finances and family to spirituality, significance and legacy. Every person’s definition of success is different, but what makes a stay at home, a teacher, an engineer, an electrician, a factory worker or a missionary different from a Ray Kroc, a Henry Ford, a Vince Lombardi, a Steve Jobs, a Sam Walton or an Orrin Woodward? All of them started out just like you and I, but they certainly didn’t stay there.
I don’t have a direct answer to what makes one person appear more successful than the other but I do have a prediction as to why there is a large gap that separates the factory worker who works hard, loves and provides for his family and an Orrin Woodward who also works hard, loves and provides for his family. From what I have learned, I believe there are 3 things that one must think about when determining what path will lead them towards success:
1) Entrepreneurship - one needs to have unlimited income potential and opportunity. While there is nothing wrong with having a job, if all you have is a job then you will always be in handcuffs that limit the control you have over your finances, your time and more directly any long-term success in your profession.
2) Work ethic – If you don’t eat, sleep and breathe what you do, then chances are you are not working hard enough. Most people are ‘doing their time’ but just enough to get by to not get fired. I believe it’s not just because they have lost desire and passion for what they do, it’s that deep down they know they are pursuing their bosses dreams and not their own so why work any harder than what’s needed to get the job done? (see #1) This could be one blog article in and of itself but one other issue I see with work ethic is distractions. Most people are busy doing the wrong things and by the end of the day they never accomplished anything that would move them closer to their own dreams.
3) Systems/Patterns – One needs a proven, predictable program that specifically guides an individual down a successful path. As I have heard Orrin Woodward say, “without a system, it’s like paddling in the middle of the ocean in a canoe without ever being able to see the shoreline.” You will never know which direction to go and chances are you will never get anywhere.
I know what you are thinking…but Kristen, there are so many more things that define success. Believe me, I know! There are hundreds of categories we could touch on that would broaden this topic but the goal of this article was not to talk about the definitions of success or what makes a person successful, the goal was to share perspective on HOW to pursue success in your own life by studying what other successful individuals are doing. Like I mentioned, these three things could each stand alone as their own article and it is my opinion based on what I have seen following the-life-business founders Orrin Woodward and George Guzzardo.
Take Sam Walton for example, born in Oklahoma, grew up during the Great Depression, fought to go to college where he earned an economics degree, received his first job working as a JC Penny manager and soon after getting married he joined the Army. After the war he decided to pursue entrepreneurship and used a 25,000 dollar loan to rent a shop franchisee chain of Butler Brothers in Newport in Arkansas. This shop is where they tested what would soon make the Walton’s very successful. Starting this new company was what Sam Walton did, it was who he was. He worked harder than anyone else and never gave up even during the most difficult times. Wal-Mart is now the benchmark for franchises all over the world. There are over 4,750 stores (mainly in the United States but internationally as well) and Wal-Mart employs over 1.4 million people. Sam Walton was the richest man in America during the years of 1985-1988 and his children today hold 5 of the top 10 spots for wealthiest people in America.
What Sam Walton did for retail, I believe Orrin Woodward is duplicating through compensated communities. While many of my previous articles have given the history of Orrin’s journey into entrepreneurship and his unwavering work ethic to get to where he is at today, I want to more specifically talk about how Orrin has mastered #3 – Systems and Patterns. Any success giant would tell you that #3 is probably the most crucial step in developing long-term systematic success. An entrepreneur can start their own company and work hard for years and years but if they never develop a way to duplicate or leverage their time using a system, they will always be limited by their own abilities. Years back, Orrin Woodward, through trial and error, running through mud, criticism, etc developed a program that literally revolutionized the industry of compensated community. He called it Power Player. When a person gets started in the-life-business, they are immediately introduced to the Power Player program. It has been proven over and over that power player is the only strategy that has ALWAYS worked no matter what product was being represented or what compensation plan was being used. It is a checklist of accomplishments that is specifically designed to help anyone achieve success using the-life-business model. It is 100% transparent and duplicatable. It is simple but it is not easy. Just know this, IT WORKS! I believe Power Player will be the play that is called as the 1,000,000th person walks through the doors of a leadership seminar. It will require thousands of people to accomplish power player over and over again to reach the TEAM’s destiny of 1,000,000 people.
For the first time, I know that ANYONE who decides to join Orrin Woodward in the-life-business and go Power Player over and over using compensated communities, will achieve success that most could only dream about. Success is created by design, it is a deliberate action to take the right steps in the right direction following the right system. Power Player is the play, will you have the courage to follow your own dreams and design the life you’ve always wanted? It starts with going Power Player!
I have been blessed with the opportunity to associate with brilliant minds such as Orrin Woodward and George Guzzardo. These days it is hard to find men and women who share a common vision and purpose for the future but in the LIFE/TEAM I am constantly surrounded by people such as this. A little over a week ago we had a monthly leadership seminar where Bob and Tina Rasmussen and George and Jill Guzzardo shared their wisdom with over 1,000 people. There were so many key nuggets that I was able to take from that meeting but the clincher for me was a poem that touched my heart that Bob shared at the end of his talk. I believe this poem is an exact reflection of the success journey and I want to thank Bob for sharing this and being a living example of a finisher in LIFE:
The Race
by: D.H. Groberg
“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!”
They shout out and plead.
“There’s just too much against you now,
This time you can’t succeed!”
And as I start to hang my head
In front of failure’s face,
My downward fall is broken by
The memory of a race.
And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene;
For just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates by being. A children’s race – young boys, young men
How I remember well.
Excitement, sure, but also fear;
It wasn’t’ hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope;
Each thought to win the race,
Or tie for first, or if not that,
At least take second place.
And fathers watched from off the side,
Each cheering for his son,
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he would be the one.
The whistle blew and off they went,
Young hearts and hopes afire!
To win, to be the hero there,
Was each young boy’s desire.
And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd,
Was running near the lead and thought
“My dad will be so proud!”
But as he sped down the field
Across a shallow dip,
The little boy who thought to win,
Lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself
His hands flew out to brace,
And mid the laughter of the crowd,
He fell flat on is face.
But as he fell, his dad stoop up
And showed his anxious face,
Which to the boy so clearly said,
“Get up and win the race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done,
Behind a bit, that’s all –
And ran with all his mind and might
To make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself
To catch up and to win,
His mind went faster than he legs;
He slipped and fell again!
He wished that he had quit before
With only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now;
I shouldn’t try to race.”
But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his father’s face,
That steady look which said again,
“Get up and win the race!”
So he jumped up to try again,
Ten yards behind the last –
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought,
“I’ve got to move real fast.”
Exerting everything he had
He gained eight or ten,
But trying so hard to catch the lead,
He slipped and fell again!
Defeat! He lay there silently
A tear dropped from his eye
“There’s no sense running anymore;
Three strikes, I’m out, why try?”
The will to try had disappeared
All hope had fled away;
So far behind, so error prone,
A loser all the way.
“I’ve lost; so what’s the use,” he thought.
“I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad
Whom soon he’d have to face.
“Get up!” an echo sounded low.
“Get up and take your place.
You were not meant for failure here.
Get up and win the race!”
With borrowed will, “Get up,” it said,
“You haven’t lost at all.
For winning is not more than this –
To rise each time you fall.”
So up he rose to win once more,
And with new commit,
He resolved that win or lose,
At least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now
The most he’d ever been
Still he gave it all he had
And ran as though to win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling,
Three times he’d rose again,
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end.
They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed first place,
Head high, proud and happy,
No falling, no disgrace.
But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the line, last place,
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race.
And even though he came in last
With head bowed low, un-proud,
You would have thought he won the race
Just listening to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said,
“I didn’t do so well.”
“To me you won,” his father said.
“You rose each time you fell!”
No matter how tough the race gets, will you have the courage to finish it?
From the time I was young I was connected to a community. It started at a young age where I associated with reading buddies, intramural sports, summer camps and rec leagues. Then it moved to study groups, varsity athletics, volunteer projects and social networking. From there it moved to employment groups, college athletics, bar league softball and winter rec sports. There has never been a time in my life where I wasn’t associated with some type of community group. While it was enjoyable and a great learning experience in the moment, it became very overwhelming because I was spinning plates trying to commit to so many different organizations. It also seemed that most of the groups I belonged to were for entertainment purposes and added very little value to my future.
I began associating at weekly meetings with people who had a common vision that aligned with a similar purpose to mine. These people were so different than what I was used to; positive, uplifting, motivated, loving and servant men and women. It was a culture shock when I first got around them because I wasn’t used to this type of environment. I was always so used to being around gossip, negativity and selfishness that I didn’t know if I should even trust this group. But it didn’t take long for me to adjust because in the process of figuring out if these people were really real, I was developing an addiction to the environment.
Most communities I was used to being a part of left spirituality out. In fact, the only time I remember bringing God into my prior associations was when I was playing college basketball. Right before every game in the locker room my coach would get us in a circle and we would all hold hands and say a prayer as a team. That was the first time I had experienced the word of God in a community setting. While the LIFE business doesn’t claim to be a religious organization, Orrin Woodward and the founders believe that God’s hand has blessed our community and by His grace and love we have been given a gift to share that blessing with others. And in the process, many people will discover and develop a deeper relationship with their Creator. I couldn’t imagine going through life without this community. I have been blessed with many friends and mentors who I love dearly and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world and I don’t believe there is anything else out there that compares to the LIFE community. I encourage you, if you are looking for that sense of belonging that has been the missing link in all your other associations, you will find it here in the LIFE business!
so you may have different strategies than I do. But I am sure all of us could stand to work on our patience and find ways to slow down. Check out how patient this amazing dog is for this cute little boy who just wanted to stop and play in the puddle:
