Tags
13 resolutions for LIFE, Adversity Quotient, George Guzzardo, Orrin Woodward, Resolved, the-life-business, the-team.biz
… Ray walks into his office just after lunch, ready to take on the the 2nd half of his day when he receives a message on his answering machine, “Hello, Mr. Smith this is your son’s principal. Your son got into a fight at school today. I need you to come here immediately.”
… Mary just coached her basketball team through the biggest game of her career. Her team won the conference title and is headed to the NCAA tournament. It has been years since this program has made it to the tournament and Mary is so excited. As she pulls into her driveway she sees that her husband’s car is not home. She walks into the house only to find a note at the kitchen table. “Mary, I am done with us. I just can’t do this anymore. I am staying at my parents for a while. My bags are packed and I have left the papers for you to sign under this letter. I wish you all the best.”
… Jamie has had a quiet night at work. She is exhausted after a long week of running kids to soccer practice, band and study groups. She is the night officer for the local county police station. The switchboard announces an emergency and Jamie’s night just begins to heat up. She is told of the location of the wreck and fears that it is someone she knows because it is only miles from where she lives. When she arrives at the scene she falls to her knees to witness her 15 year old son trapped in the passenger side of a mangled car. He is unconscious and not breathing.
All of these stories reflect a situation in which our Adversity Quotient gets tested. In Orrin Woodward’s Resolved book, Chapter 12 discusses AQ as a combination of our mental and emotional intelligence and the formula for AQ is your IQ (Intelligence Quotient) x EQ (Emotional Quotient) x WQ (Will Quotient). Woodward says, “A person with a high AQ refuses to compromise on personal and professional excellence no matter how difficult the obstacles involved.” While I won’t go into the entire chapter (I encourage you to read the chapter yourself), I have found that most people think they have a higher AQ than is actually present; meaning they think they handle adversity better than they actually do. Orrin briefly gives an excellent explanation of AQ from his book- check it out!
Just imagine yourself as the main character in all the above situations. How would you react if faced with that challenge? Or similarly, have you ever been faced with a challenge that really tested your AQ?
This is minor example but I think reflects it well:
When I was in high school I was in a chemistry class with a good friend of mine. I wasn’t very good at chemistry but did well enough to get by. Every day when we completed out classwork we would stick it into a bin in the back of the room. And the bin wouldn’t be emptied until our teacher picked up all the papers to take them home to grade (and this happened every few days). My friend was not doing well in chemistry and she knew I wouldn’t let her copy my answers so she took it upon herself to dig through that pile of papers and find all my work where she took it all home, copied everything word for word and brought it all back the next day putting both of our papers back in the bin. But she definitely wasn’t a good cheater because she failed to mix up the pile of papers and change some of the wording in her answers so immediately the teacher caught us. Without my knowing I got all my papers back that said “See me after school” with a big “F” on the top of them. My friend had the same note which is when she confessed and told me what she had done. After school when the teacher talked to us he was very stern in telling us that we would both fail the class for cheating. Which is where my friend stepped in and confessed that I had nothing to do with it and that she had stole my papers to copy them. While I wasn’t completely out of the water, I certainly didn’t suffer the same consequences as my friend of having to re-take the class. But in that scenario my AQ was definitely tested. I was angry and upset that she would do such a thing. I raised my voice (which is something I rarely do), I had lost faith and trust in her and I had questioned my friendship with her. Eventually I forgave her but my naive reaction as a teenager really built a wall around our friendship after that incident. Had I seeked to understand sooner and had a higher AQ it may have saved some future drama.
My point is that adversity strikes us all the time. Some people’s adversity is
worse than others. Sometimes I reflect on my life and wonder why certain things happened to me. It is that selfish little voice that says, “why did I have to pull the short straw?” But we all feel that at some points in our life. And then we are reminded of how each setback has molded us into who we are today. Just think about it. The one who gets dealt the losing hand has a lot more to learn and persist through than the one who is always dealt a good hand. And the losing hand makes us stronger in everything we do… especially when it comes to developing our Adversity Quotient.
So instead of developing the ‘woe’s me syndrome’ or throwing ourselves a pity party when things get bad, lets embrace the fact that we are being sharpened (not shattered) by the pressures of life and our strength is being revealed. Once the pressure is released from our current situation, we will not only know our existing strength but also become acutely aware of the new strength that was born out of the process of being sharpened. Think of glass and think of steel. When a rock gets thrown at a piece of glass it will crack that glass. And if that glass is not fixed then one more rock will shatter that glass. But when that rock gets thrown at the steel, it ricochets right off or as Orrin Woodward says, “like spitballs off a battleship.” Orrin also says “the leader maintains his head even when everybody else is losing theirs.”
The-life-business is a great resource to help us develop our AQ so that as we venture down the path to success we armor ourselves in steel and not glass. But don’t get confused when I say this by thinking that glass is bad protective gear. We all have some glass protecting us that can’t be covered in steel (such as our heart) but when it comes to success, having a high AQ with some steel to protect against the adversities of life will really move you light years ahead of those who only armor themselves in glass. I encourage you to get your hands on Orrin Woodward’s Resolved book and read Chapter 12 and discover for yourself if you are a man or woman of steel or of glass.
“The same hammer that breaks the glass, also sharpens the steel.” Bob Johnson
I would love to hear your feedback. What situations in your life have challenged your AQ and how did you respond? Or tell me about a time when you experienced a ‘steel or glass’ moment in your life.
Blessings,
Kristen
Once again you amaze me Kristen: Well, before I knew about this AG thing I may have used it in a small way. Years ago I was laid off from my job as an electrian.
Work was slow and iapplied for unemployment for the first time ever. Do to the fact that I’d been unable to work due to a broken leg I was only able to receive UC for a few months. What to do my family had to be provide for so I was able throuh a good friend to get a job which paid far less then my electrians pay. We managed itand as time went by I saw things werent getting any better but at least I had some income.
Just about the time I was getting dis couraged an answer to my prayers came. My boss from the electiacal contractor I’d worked for called and said he could give me at least one year of work. A choice had to be made stay with present job or take the maybe one year of work. I took the job with my previous company. Well the one year became fifteen plus and I was able to get a very good pension plan and have enjoyed a pretty desent life . I look forward to yet another opportunity to help make a difference with the principles spelled out in Orrins book and use the IQXEQXWQ to improve my AQ. Thanks Kristen you are leading the charge. Keep keeping on.
As always Blessings –Bill–
WOW Bill! That is a great story! Even when you didn’t know about AQ as a concept you displayed a high amount of AQ in your decisions. Thank you for your wisdom and your transparency. God Bless!
Hi Kristen….Chapter 12 in ”Resolved” is very vivid. Probably because I had previously read Rick Warren’s ”The Purpose Driven Life”. Yes, its not if adversity hits, its when. Some of us are ready for it and some aren’t. That’s the difference between I think between a person who settles for mediocrity and somebody striving to live an intentional life. The Lord knows what each of us can handle and seemingly some people are tested more than others. Everybody’s character grows and developes at different paces. Orrin offers a more technical explanation than Rick but both are right on. As Rick said in his book, ”…this life is just a dress rehearsal for the next”. This blog of yours, Kristen, is one of the best you’ve written since I came on board.
Thanks Randy! Great explanation from Rick Warren’s book. That was one of the first faith books that I read. You are right, we will all be hit with adversity many times throughout our lives and that is why AQ is so important because the more we strive for excellence, the bigger the challenges become. Most give up too soon because they have low AQ. I can tell you have a high AQ and will go very far in LIFE! Proud of you.
Kristen,
Great blog post! You truly are an inspiration to many people including Samantha and I. We are proud to be following leaders such as yourself in this cause for a greater future for our future generations! Adversity Quotient takes some definate tenacity! Best-Selling Author Tim Marks just had a post on his blog (http://timmarks.com/blog/) about “Mental Toughness”. I feel that mental toughness is a combination of IQ, EQ, and WQ, because to have AQ someone has to prepare themselves mentally in advance and be prepared for anything that may come their way. But no matter what the storm may be that comes a person must learn to persevere. Things will come our way and as Orrin says in Chapter 12 of “Resolved” “…perseverance is one of the traits that all long-term successful people have in common”. I believe to become a nation of truly successful entrepreneurs many more people will have to develop that AQ and be willing to overcome learned helplessness. We are in the fight with you and the rest of the TEAM.
God Bless,
Jeremy Pethke
Thanks so much for your comment Jeremy! You are exactly right and Tim Marks blog totally nails the AQ concept of having mental toughness! Thank you for being leaders that the next generation desperately needs. Look forward to seeing you and Samantha at the major in a couple weeks. God Bless!
Kristen,
Great article and great examples! I am continually amazed at your level of thinking and I can truly tell that you have become a true student and continue to read, listen to CD’s, and associate with leaders in the areas that you want to grow in!
I will share a story of “Adversity (AQ)” that you will remember and it caused you a lot of pain but it was important for the growth of our team! Back in 2003 when our AAU team “The Kenosha Wildcats” where preparing for International play all of you ladies started playing a much higher level of basketball. Once we all made the decision to compete at that level we changed!
You girls started listening better, working harder, and playing as a team! I started reading more, listening to more CD’s by the top coaches, attending more college games and associating with higher level and more experienced coaches! We began the journey of growing by hard work and desire to win! But we had a serious problem as far as I could see….
Once all those things started to gel we were almost unstoppable! We were winning everything! We were focused on a bigger picture and the normal tournaments and teams with much more talent then us that we never beat, we started beating, and without any real strong struggle or hardships! As a coach I was worried about our learning curve that was for sure slowing down because we were feeling that we couldn’t be beat….we were entering the “Zone” prematurely!
How could that be? Well, we were beating teams and winning tournaments that we could never beat or win and our ego’s started to show a little and our wiliness to learn started to slow down. So I did what every good coach should do! I started to study the “what ifs!” The “what ifs” are simple when you think of them and you could use the “what ifs” in everything in your life. Here is how it works….
I thought of everything that I could about what could go wrong in Maui in the International Tournament! What if we got into foul trouble? What if our girls got sick? What if we came across a defense that we never saw before? What if we were just out classed? What if we were to slow? What if the girls got mad at each other? And the list goes on….
Once I put this list together I started to simulate all the “what ifs” in every game and in every tournament that we played going forward! Here is one example, once the game would start I would take a girl off the court and play with only 4. This would cause a real problem with the refs but once they read the rule book they found we could play with as many as we wanted but we had to start with 5. This caused our girls to become very upset with me, they had to work even harder to get down the floor, to work as a team, to read the other teams offense, and to support each other quickly without thought! Then we would go down to 3 girls on the court!
They funny part was our girls would continue to score and out play the other team. The other team thought I was being rude to them, but my focus was to build upon and show our team that we need to know and understand as many “what ifs” that we can think of and then practice working with that issue so it would eventually not be an issue at all.
There were many other “what ifs” we worked on but this one won use tournaments and it also got us our 3rd place Consolation Championship in Maui! We ended up only going out there with 6 of our 10 girls and with foul troubles and such, that “what if” of playing with less players actually helped us win!
Never underestimate the powers we have as thinking people! Great people and great actions have come from ordinary people every day. I think “AQ” is the reason, understanding “AQ” will help us all to prepare, and “AQ” is what true champions are made of!
You are an AQ Champion!
Dave Chatmon
Dave, I do remember all this very clearly! Thank you for sharing such great examples. It is funny because when I think back on it I do remember how mad we would get at you when you would make us play with 3 players against 5 especially in tournaments when we had back to back games and we were exhausted. It made no sense to us at the time. Looking back on it now it is genius because it really did force us to work harder, communicate more and come together as a team. Because you had such strong personalities to work with I can see why now you had to do some of those things to build our AQ. And I really believe that it worked because when faced with those exact ‘what if’ situations that you mentioned, we were able to easily adapt with little resistance. You were such a great basketball coach back then and you have carried that into everything you do including LIFE coaching. Thank you for setting the example and growing yourself so that you can help all of us grow! You rock Mr. Chatmon!
Ah- Adversity.. gotta love it, we’ve all had our share and it is nice to be able to have the tools to handle it better when it comes now that we have LIFE and the MFC. I know the adversity Kurt and I have had the last 2 years could have really done us in if we didn’t have the tools and the thinking we have now because of the LIFE information and the amazing leadership we have been able to follow- You, Dave and George.
Folks reading this, if you don’t already have it, get a hold of the RESOLVED book by Orrin Woodward, read and apply and get ready for a positive change in your life.
Thanks for a great blog Kristen.
God bless
Joanne, isn’t it amazing that just a simple change in thinking can change the way we respond to adversity? I have seen you and Kurt handle some adversities in your life and I am proud of the growth you have had through those challenges. You are becoming such positive examples! Thank you for your leadership!!
Kristen thank you for a great article! As Randy pointed out referencing Ricks book its not if but when.. Its during the when that we find out where our strength comes from, what if any preparations we have done and were they sufficient. Orrins book gives great insight on preparedness. We have heard other talks from Orrin, Chris Brady, George Guzzardo, on how to reframe circumstances to help get us through. Each of us is so much stronger than we realize. Through mentorship of caring leaders like yourself,Dave Chatman, who take the time to do the good finding in people to help them persevere. Thanks for keeping us focused forward!