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Bill Lewis, Chris Brady, Claude Hamilton, Courageous, Dan Hawkins, fatherhood, fathers, George Guzzardo, Orrin Woodward, the-life-business.com, Tim Marks
“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” Sigmund Freud
According to 2011 U.S. Census Bureau data, over 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (33%) children in America. Today nearly 4 out of 10 first marriages end in divorce, 60% of divorcing couples have children, and over one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents. About 40% of the children who live in absentee father households haven’t seen their fathers in at least a year while 50% of children who don’t live with their fathers have never stepped foot in their father’s home. These statistics are alarming, but aside from this, there are millions of families that have a father in the child’s life but that father is not really there. Many times, articles such as this are written by men but I am going to compose this article from the standpoint of a person who grew up in a father-less home.
Like many, I am a statistic. My parents divorced when my brother and I were 6 years old. Because I was so young, I didn’t know any different than what was a single parent household. It’s kind of like the old saying, a crooked line doesn’t know it’s crooked until it’s next to a straight line. Well, as I got older my crooked line was being revealed to me as I got to know more people who had straight lines. My mom did a great job raising my brother and I by herself, I can’t deny that. But when my dad re-married and my brother and I were forced to conform to someone else’s family (on a temporary basis), it became more obvious that we were being raised much different than the ‘average’ American family.
After the divorce, my brother and I didn’t have a close relationship with our dad. My daddy’s girl mentality as a toddler was crushed as I slowly lost respect for him. My dad re-married to a woman we did not like and who treated us much different than her own children. It would bring most people to tears to know how we were treated by this woman. My dad’s addictions consumed his life and quickly he had changed into a man I didn’t know. What’s worse is that the little time we did spend with our dad he was not around. This too is not uncommon in divorced families.
However, the older I got, the more forgiving I got. Christ was truly working on my heart. I wanted that relationship with my dad that every girl wants, I just didn’t know how to get it. Eventually, our communication opened up as we made more of an effort to get to know each other. We discovered that we have common bonds such as fishing, lakefront property, basketball and reading that may have never been discovered had we both chosen to give up on the relationship. Today, I see my dad as a superhero. While our relationship isn’t perfect, it is precious in my eyes. And that’s what really matters. Whether we are man or woman, black, white, brown or green, mother, father or child, we have a responsibility to model superhero-like leadership for those around us.
There is a huge epidemic going on right now in society and it is affecting families everywhere. Over 50% of marriages are ending in divorce and it is drastically changing the dynamics of a child’s upbringing. Little girls need their daddy to protect them, nurture them and lead them and little boys need their daddy to mold them, build them up and teach them how to be men. I know the LIFE community has a calling to teach men how to be men, teach husband’s how to be husband’s and teach father’s how to be father’s. Leadershift is a great foundation and starting place for all of us who want to live up to the leadership potential God placed inside all of us. Orrin Woodward, Chris Brady, George Guzzardo and all the LIFE founders are examples of courageous men who are standing up and leading their families. They are men who exemplify heroism in the lives of not only their children, but other children’s children. And their impact is influencing thousands of other men to stand up and lead as well. Enjoy this video clip as it is a powerful message to not only men but all of us.
God Bless,
Kristen
Kristen: God bless you for the courage to put out this witness. My relationship with my Dad became much stronger later in my life. Dad worked two jobs during my younger years. I also wasn’t the best of fathers early on. Had I known as a young twenty something husband and father maybe I could have been better equipped to
be better at both roles. Courageous is an awesome movie I wish it would be required watching to all Fathers. We in the Life/Team community can and will make a difference thanks to our great leaders.
Amen Bill, I know your father would be proud of the man you are today. So too is your Father in Heaven proud! God Bless
I cannot be happier with the way my son has turned out. Not yet 27, he is much further along than me in life that its a joke. But I’m more than OK with that. Except for his temper tantrums on the basketball court when he was in middle school and during the AAU seasons I couldn’t be prouder with the way he turned out. His mother (my first wife) and I split up when he was 7 1/2. He cried like crazy but as things turned out we saw each other every weekend and sometimes on a weeknights. My second wife despised him because his mother got child support and she didn’t. Divorcing her after less than four years was actually a relief since I chose my son as the priority in my life over her. Today, my son, who still lives with his mother, is my best friend. We talk or see each other once a week. Even though both marriages were a mistake my Christian upbringing would not allow me to evaporate out of my life. I paid the price financially twice but my reward is a trophy of a son I’m proud of. I just wish I can get him to an open meeting!
Thanks for sharing Randy. Your relationship with your son is one that should be modeled. Proud of you for leading your family! God Bless
Beautiful words Kristen, all girls want and need their dads.
Amen Imelda!
Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading your posting. I am now following you. Looking forward to more inspiration.
Thanks Sherri, I appreciate your comment!
Kristen, nothing to say but Amen…you hit the nail on the head sister…I resolve to be a good husband, father, brother, and encourager of other males. Thank God for the LIFE organization, without it, I would surely be a statistic. God Bless you!
Chad
Great blog Kristen. So true. Thank you for sharing your story. This world needs the fathers, husbands, uncles, brothers and sons to be courageous and stand up for what is right. I’m so happy and excited that the LIFE community is taking center stage to make it happen!
Another great post Kristen.
I relate with you on having feelings of resentment as my family is going through something right now. Its hard to not point fingers and just let the relationship suffer. Tganks for reminding me to as the Lord for strength to forgive and to heal the relationship.
Thanks again.
Evan G.
God is our only source of true peace during those sometimes impossible times. Keep the faith Evan!