It often feels like life moves in a million different directions and just when we start to get comfortable with one path, God throws us another curve ball to change-up the game.

The text message I received from a friend shortly after the incident said it all, “Gotta love God’s reminders of what is important.”

I had seen the man out of the corner of my eye as I was making my transaction at this local bank. Just days prior I had opened a new account due to my recent move. It wasn’t minutes later when the shattering of glass from the front windows and doors echoed screams and cries that still make my heart race as I write this. I saw him…he was holding a gun and a baseball bat.

“Get down!!!!”…were the only words I could think to yell as I witnessed the glass shatter in front of me.

In a matter of seconds I darted towards the closest office I could see, grabbing the woman’s arm who had no idea what was going on, as we crouched fearfully under a desk in an attempt to hide. However, the clear glass window exposing the office made this attempt almost pointless. I had fumbled with the door knob hoping to secure it but much to my terror there was no lock; so I crouched as low as I could behind the small desk garbage can. The woman who was crying and shaking to my right was mad at herself for not having her gun on her. She muttered angrily, “…what’s the point of conceal and carry if I can’t carry my gun into a bank for situations like this!!”

The woman to my left, who aligned her body perfectly parallel with the wall underneath the desk, was immediately on the phone with 9-1-1.

…I realized in that split second response that I had left all my belongings on the counter by the teller. I didn’t care.

(“Gotta love God’s reminders of what is important”)

…I had never felt so helpless…

So I started to pray…

…”Please Lord, protect us.”

…”Please Lord, protect us.”

…”Please Lord, protect us.”

The prayers from my mouth became louder as I heard the 9-1-1 dispatcher through the phone. I held the other woman’s hand and said, “We are going to be okay, everything is going to be okay.” But, in that instant, I only imagined my life ending.

As soon as I heard the office door open I almost threw up. It’s amazing how our bodies respond physiologically to fear. Even though I knew everything was going to be okay, I still feared the worst.

broken glass

But, when the office manager opened the door and said, “He’s gone,” I had never felt such relief. None of us could even stand up because we were shaking so bad. As we all slowly made our way out into open territory I couldn’t help but empathize for the others who were stricken with equal fear; tears streaming down their faces, terrified bystanders, concerned employees. I had never seen anything like it. Time had stopped. Work had stopped. Hugs were shared. Witnesses were questioned. Phone calls were made.

(“Gotta love God’s reminders of what is important”)

As I have reflected on this incident in the last 24 hours the urgency of my writing became great. Nothing bad happened. No one died. No one was hurt. But, I believe everyone who was there will never forget how they felt…and how it shook their world.

And I ask myself today, will it change them, like it has changed me?

…Will it change how they love others?

…Will it change how they live their lives or prioritize their time?

…Will it change their behaviors?

…Will it change what they believe or how they practice what they believe?

As I crouched underneath that desk assuming the worst, I still believed that everything would be okay. I was terrified, but I believed. I knew that if my life ended in that moment, that I would be with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But… did they?

Charles H. Spurgeon once said, “Have you no wish for others to be saved? Then you’re not saved yourself, be sure of that!”

It’s not enough to secure our own salvation. Yes, as a believer I know one day everything is going to be okay. But, will everyone be okay?

It’s hard to live your life in the same manner when you understand the timeline of life vs. eternity. And yet, everyday I fall short of not serving more or loving more or praying more or leading more. I just wish in that instant I had the courage to ask those women under the desk with me if they knew Jesus. But…I didn’t. I was only thinking of myself.

I just wonder what it will take for more believers (like myself) to speak Truth into the world and not care so much about what the world thinks. If I knew I was going to die yesterday, why did I care so much about what those women would think? That may have been God’s one opportunity to speak Truth into their lives by using me… and I blew it. Shame on me for not standing up for Him!

God’s purpose for us is so big and often we forget that He is the only reason we are here. Shouldn’t that reality equally shake us?

(“…Gotta love God’s reminders of what is important…”)

This incident has stirred my heart and shaken my core. I just wonder how many times God has awakened me to the reality of how short life really is and how big my purpose is but how many times I have wasted those reminders by only thinking of myself. I am so grateful for the peace I have in my heart in knowing that everything is going to be okay in the end; but that doesn’t eliminate the urgency of wanting others to have that same peace too. 

That is all.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

Love,

Kristen

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