Category Archives: Love

Perspective: Through a Child’s Eyes

01 Saturday Aug 2015

Posted by in Friendship, Love, Relationships

≈ 7 Comments

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” Abraham Lincoln

house

One day a very wealthy father took his son on a trip to the country for the sole purpose of showing his son how it was to be poor. They spent a few days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

After their return from the trip, the father asked his son how he liked the trip:

“It was great, Dad,” the son replied.

“Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked.

“Oh Yeah,” said the son.

“So what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon…”

chilc

“…We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others…”

“…We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.”

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then his son added, “It showed me just how poor we really are.”

Too many times we place value on the wrong things: materialism, credentials and money. However, the things with the most value have no monetary price: relationships, memories and love. “Poor” is the man who thinks he is rich and has no relationships.

Sometimes it takes the eyes of a child to remind us what’s important.

Blessings,

Kristen

Change and Faith: Mile Mark 3-1-6

05 Sunday Jul 2015

Posted by in Brain Tumor, Faith, Inspirational, Love, Relationships

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I could finally see the wreck from a distance; cars were backed up for miles on this long and curvy one-lane road and when the scene first appeared at the base of a Virginia mountain-side, I gasped–not at the sight but as I noticed the mile mark—3-1-6.

NC1Almost two years ago I had made the decision I was going to move. God had been giving me confirming messages through prayer and scripture and by this time it wasn’t a matter of if…but when. My pending thoughts on moving were a conversation between me and God so when I eventually revealed the news to my friends, family and business partners (about 6 months later), conflicting opinions created controversy.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

It had been a tough year. No, I take that back. It had been a tough three years; periods filled with beautiful peaks and very deep, dark valleys. Pain. Fear. Loneliness. Defeat. The valleys seemed to last so much longer than the peaks and it wasn’t as if moving to a new location would change that reality; however, I believed that the new scenery would help me to see the beauty even in the valley. Needless to say, I wanted a fresh start–somewhere else.

I think so many people are afraid of change because it’s so unpredictable. But isn’t life unpredictable? It doesn’t matter if change happens to us or because of us, it will still happen. I decided that if change was going to happen to me anyway, I was going to embrace it and in fact, create it.

A current and prior health train-wreck and financial train-wreck had left me very hopeless for months. Just because we know Jesus and have a relationship with Him, doesn’t mean we are immune to negative thoughts (or the enemy’s attacks). Actually, I’ve come to realize that the bigger the faith, the bigger the target. So watch your back and be prepared for anything. And instead of delaying the inevitable (change happening to me-as a result of circumstances), I decided to be proactive—and hoped to create something positive from it.

So last June of 2014 I sold and gave away all my belongings (by that point it was just meaningless baggage I wanted to leave behind), moved into a vacant condo (that a friend graciously let me stay in during my transition in Wisconsin) – with nothing but the necessities, and I began my search for a new “home.” I vaguely give specifics of what was happening during that time because the details aren’t important for this particular article. However, please don’t misinterpret the message because the decisions, circumstances and changes were far from easy. Change is never easy. I didn’t know exactly what was going to happen next, I didn’t even have a plan (not recommended) but surprisingly I was calm and at peace with whatever it would be.

“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.” 2 Thessalonians 3:16

…And As God always does, He aligned a location (North Carolina), a place to live, income opportunities for financial stability, a church home AND people; my, how He aligned me with amazing people! All in less than 30 days. It was home. (God honors our faith. See Hebrews 11:6)

Jordan Lake

Now, being eight months into this “fresh start” in North Carolina – a location that had never even crossed my mind when I first thought of moving, but now can’t imagine being anywhere else… I can finally look back and see God’s hand in ALL of it! Praise be to HIM!

I think sometimes we mistake the challenges God gives us as punishment or persecution, rather than opportunity. I spent a lot of time being mad at God because of where my life was at – and never really looking inward at myself and the opportunities for learning or growing from those challenges. Lesson repeated until lesson learned. UGH! I lacked faith. Sure, from a distance it may have appeared that I was faithful, trusting and obedient. But God knows our hearts. And admittedly, my heart was timid, frustrated and scared; and my inaction proved it.

It’s a humbling experience when God’s grace meets our pride (and selfishness) and we finally realize how helpless we are without Him. We’re usually faced with two choices–continue doing the same things as we were – and it will usually get worse, or surrendering and giving Him the power to control our destiny (or destination in my case) – and it will usually get better. I knew I had to start walking in faith and asking Him to show me the way, lead my steps and pave a path…if I wanted things to get better.

And He did!

...But, it required me to take action, to take the first step!

…and walk by faith… 

The irony of it all was that the verses that kept popping up in my Bible reading prior to the move all had the numbers 3-1-6 in them! Even the bracelet that I wear today as I write this post is the well known verse John 3:16.

Coincidence? Hardly.

john 316

It was as if He wanted me to stop and see mile mark 3-1-6 during the 15 hour trek as confirmation that where I was headed was part of HIS plan (not my own). All the challenges that I used as excuses for not stepping out in faith for so long were now erased when I took the first step…and God made a way–just as He did when He sent his Son to the cross as a living sacrifice for our eternal redemption:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

A life-transforming move to the South may not be in your future (like it was for me) but I pray that you embrace change, walk by faith and trust Jesus who will lead you towards an amazing “final-destination” — in Heaven.

Blessings,

Kristen

Hope Outlasts the Passage of Time

06 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by in Faith, Inspirational, Legacy, Love

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“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12

You never see the hard days in a photo album.

family

This Easter was unlike any other that I have experienced. On Good Friday, I attended an evening service at Colonial Baptist Church in Cary, NC (my new home state and home church) that brought me to an uncontrollable and emotional breaking point. I have never been more present or have experienced the Holy Spirit’s presence in such a way as was shared through the message and music of that evening. The tears continued to roll down my cheeks as I drove home in silence thinking about my Savior’s crucifixion on the cross that evening over 2,000 years ago. Was the overwhelming emotion because I imagined how alone He must have felt during those final hours? Was it because my heart was broken at the thought of His pain and those who loved Him and had watched Him suffer? (Thinking about the people who I love and are suffering)… Or was it because I felt guilty that He had endured so much for someone as unworthy as me. Whatever the cause, it’s irrelevant, and “thank you Jesus” were the only prayers I could repeat as my heart filled with gratitude for what He had done on my behalf.

I reflected on years past when Easter was not about Jesus, it was about a bunny. For nearly 21 years I did not attend a church, nor did I understand why Easter was even celebrated. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to know…I was just ignorant to the Truth. You see, like most families my parents would hide a fully stuffed and decorated Easter basket for my brother and I to look for on Easter morning, then later in the day my family would get together and we would eat a bunch of candy, feast over a big meal and fellowship with one another – joyously partaking in the celebration of _________________ (What??) (…a beautiful Spring day?…Sunday family time?…a yellow bunny that hides baskets and doesn’t actually exist?) Sure, I have great memories of Easter from years past, but were they really “Easter” memories or just “family” memories that happened to fall on Easter Sunday?

This Easter was quite different though. I moved to North Carolina knowing that things would be much different during the holidays and would not leave the same kind of “family” memories as my childhood remembers. But, I wouldn’t change any of it because I now celebrate the true meaning of the day.

When I called my mom after the morning church service, she reminded me of how different it is not having anyone to celebrate with anymore. To which I thought, are you more sad about being alone this year or not understanding the real reason for the holday? Truth is, if you don’t know WHY you are celebrating, it doesn’t matter how big your family is, or what traditions you have, there really is no point. But, I empathized with her because I, too, have a heart of sadness in the passage of time that has dramatically distorted the image of my family photo.

Death, divorce and drama throughout the years has not only left the few of us who are still here alone…but sad at the result of this present time. My mom stated, “I never saw my life like this.” …I was silent…knowing she was right. We never imagine our lives to change as much as they do and as quickly as it does. I see this beautiful and happy family 25 years ago (shown above) and don’t even recognize the photo anymore (shown below) – same picture in 1990, dramatically different reality in 2015:

broken family

You never see the hard days in a photo album.

It reminds me just how temporary this life truly is and how much of it is NOT in our control. So many things happen with the passage of time that, of course, we can’t possibly predict how things will turn out. But, there is one thing that remains unchanged and even outlasts the passage of time…and that is the hope we have in Jesus Christ.

I went for an afternoon walk by myself after Easter church service and clenched the cross around my neck thanking Jesus for the hope He has given me through His death and resurrection. Because, despite the pain and sadness of my past and even the loneliness that easily consumes me when I stray, Christ always manages to fill my heart with joy as I think about a future with Him. That is WHY I celebrate. That is why I continue to smile through the hard times. That is why I can accept the reality of my current family photo and still be grateful for my life as I celebrate Him. Because Jesus reminds me (especially on days that are meant for Him) that it’s not about ME! And the more I live that truth and meditate on that hope, the easier it is to surrender my past, accept my present and live a life that will glorify Him for my future!

I pray for you who have a similar story and struggle with your faith…because I have been there. I pray for you who are alone during the holidays and don’t feel the presence of God at your side…because I have been there. I pray for you who are going through hard times right now and don’t know the hope that a future with Christ holds…because I have been there.

And I want to encourage you beyond my own experiences because, it’s not about me. Christ has been there too….He overcame every obstacle that we will face in this life. He even overcame the scariest and most permanent obstacle of all….death. That is why we celebrate Easter! He overcame it and you can too! Time will continue to pass, our lives will continue to change quickly and dramatically, our family photos will look nothing like they used to, but one thing will remain the same, unchanged, always – and that is the hope we have in a life with Jesus when we use our life to glorify Him. And if He is all we are left with in the end, then He is all we really need. 

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him.” Lamentations 3:24

Prayers and love to you,

Kristen

A Grateful Heart Doesn’t Need a “Restart” Button

26 Thursday Feb 2015

Posted by in Faith, Inspirational, Legacy, LIFE Leadership, Love

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Has anyone ever thought this? …I wish I could change the status of my life like I change the settings on my computer or my smart phone.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have uttered these words under my breath. “If only my life had a restart button, I would do so many things different.”

“… I’d do this better… I’d manage this more appropriately…I’d be more intentional regarding this…I’d make better decisions regarding that…”

When my grandma was dying she quickly started to fade into dependence on others (and God). In her final weeks and days, she lost her independence and her ability to take care of herself, but she never lost her spirit. My grandma was always so strong and independent; she rarely asked for help and even lived alone for an additional five years after my grandfather had passed away…without transportation, technology or a “restart” button on her life. She enjoyed quality time with friends and family (especially with me!), loved to cook, sing, dance, read her Bible, pray and bring joy to others.

The last week of her life I remember having a bit of a crying spell. I knew her time was coming to an end and I just couldn’t bear the thought of living without her. I remember our last conversation so clearly. She was sitting in her recliner at home, weak and frail but looking for the strength to stay alert; and somehow God gave her the capacity and ability to talk with me for nearly an hour – fully “grandma.”

I asked her: “Grandma, whatcha’ thinking about?”

She said: “Kristen, I didn’t think it would come this soon.”

Trying to fight back tears for nearly an hour, I asked: “What do you mean? What does it feel like?”

She looked me square in the eyes and said: “…it feels short. I remember my childhood, my wedding, the birth of my children and every event that brought me joy throughout the years. When I am alone, I think of all the good times. It makes me grateful. None of the hard times even matter.”

I just remember sitting there holding her hands, looking into her eyes, trying to embed the feeling and image of this angel woman who changed my life, into my heart.

I asked her, “Is there anything you wished you could do over?”

She responded confidently (as she always did for as long as I knew her), “Nothing. I’ve had such a great life. God has given me so much. It wasn’t perfect but it was the perfect life God had for me.”

If there was ever a time that someone might want to hit the “restart” button on their life, I’d think it would be at the end. And as I reflect on this conversation with my grandma, I am convicted and reminded that no matter how much I sometimes want to “hibernate” or “shut down” or hit “restart” on my life, that I am just wasting time being ungrateful for the life God has given me.

restart

I often wonder if I was asked those same questions would I respond in the same manner. Would I answer with a grateful heart or a regretful heart? Would words of wisdom flow from my tongue or a sense of weariness flood from my heart?

I believe that gratitude is a choice we make: 

When we start a new day…

When we start a new chapter in our lives…

When we face new challenges…

…in all circumstances.

A.W. Tozer once said, “The goodness of God is infinitely more wonderful than we will ever be able to comprehend.” (I am so grateful for this promise!)

God didn’t give us buttons to push in order to change our life, He loves us so much that He gave us His Son instead. 

In that same conversation just five days before she passed away, I joked with her and said, “Well grandma, it looks like you are going to get to see Jesus before I do.”

And in a quick wit that served her well to the end, she teased with a twinkle in her eye, “Are you jealous?”

We both smiled with tears in our eyes. She knew that I knew she would be okay. Selfishly, I didn’t want her to go. But, I am grateful that she had a relationship with Jesus Christ, who saved her life for all of eternity. Because of Him, I will get to see her again someday.

Don’t pray for God to change your situation or your status, pray for God to change your heart…to a heart of gratitude.

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and gives hope for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie

Love,

Kristen

Remembering my best friend and guardian angel: 

Ann Mardoian: March 26th, 1925 – February 23rd, 2014

grandma

 

More Than Words: What Autism Taught Me About “Unspoken Encouragement”

13 Friday Feb 2015

Posted by in Community and Leadership, Faith, Inspirational, Love

≈ 12 Comments

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

God is so amazing! I often find myself reflecting on my current path as a means to understand how God is able to use me in certain situations. When I moved down to North Carolina a few months ago I never anticipated being on the path I am currently on – in an immeasurably good way. The friendships I have been able to forge in such a short amount of time leaves me feeling grateful each night my head hits the pillow.

me and RickyOne of the surprising friendships I have begun to develop over the past couple of months is with a 14 year old boy who has Autism. Each morning I am with him I am reminded of just how well God knows me. He couldn’t have picked a more perfect child to put in my path.

This little boy has an insatiable passion for music – you will usually catch us jamming out to George Straight, Chris Young or Beethovan (in that order!)…but our favorite being Amazing Grace by Alabama…as we worship the King and shout “Amen” and “Hallelujah” (arms reaching to the sky) because we both love the Lord! This little boy also loves to hug (another favorite of mine!) While his words are limited, it is not uncommon to hear him whisper, “I need a hug…” with my response always being, “how did you know I needed one too?” He is one of the most loving and caring teenagers I have ever met.

While I could go on and on about how much this little boy has blessed me, the greatest reward I receive each day by serving him is encouragement.

When I think about the true meaning of encouragement, I immediately think of specific words or phrases I use to uplift or support HIM… “Great job!” “You are doing so amazing!” “You are so smart!” “I am so proud of you!”

In fact, if you were a fly on the wall during my sessions with him, you would hear these phrases quite frequently and directed towards a specific task. “I am so proud of you for eating three bites of your turkey! You are such a big boy!!” (He hates turkey lol).

I used to think that I didn’t need encouragement – that I was “self-motivated.” HA! That is funny! We all need encouragement. But, children with autism REQUIRE it! It helps them stay focused and on task and even more important, it reminds them just how special and amazing they truly are!

Because of the frequency of my encouraging words, I often find myself being more encouraged each time I encourage him. Why? Because it’s sincere, it’s from my heart and I mean it. I never encourage him without a smile on my face. Again you ask, why? Because he will think it’s fake. Just like a typically developed person, kids with autism are very perceptive to facial expressions and feelings. They recognize when you hurt, when you are angry, when you are sad and….when you don’t care.

How many times have you been encouraged by someone and it felt “insincere” or “fake.” Having taught in several different schools, I noticed this a lot; teachers who attach sarcasm to their encouragement. Or a boss whose words often feel discouraging even though they intended to encourage you. How motivated would you be if the encouragement you were receiving was phony? Sadly, in the special needs field, this happens a lot as caregivers seem to think the child ‘won’t understand.’

But I digress. The point is, the more we encourage, the more we are encouraged! And it’s more than words that encourage; it’s how we say it and how the other person responds to what we say.

Are they responding positively or negatively?

Does it really make you proud? (How does it make you feel when you say it and they accomplish the task?)

When I work with him, never do I hear the words “I am so proud of you Ms. Kristen.” But yet, every day I leave him feeling more encouraged than when I started…EVEN on the bad days; I don’t need him to use words to encourage me. It’s what I like to call “unspoken encouragement.” And it’s really easy to receive too…all we have to do is give! No need to wonder if the other person really thinks you are amazing. You will know it but how they respond and how it makes you feel when they accomplish what you encouraged them to do…even if it is just eating three bites of a food they don’t like or reading a book from “beginning to end.” In fact, unspoken encouragement is about the only type of encouragement I know of that you can receive and be in complete control of.

Even though he doesn’t always like the tasks on his schedule or the choices he is given, him and I are buds. I encourage him in the little things and the big things. I show him love and I mean it. And I am always encouraged because even on the bad days he still calls me, “My Kristen.”

Encourage often and you too will receive encouragement.

With love,

Kristen

(Permission to use his photo and story was okay’d by mom.)

To LOVE More…A New Year’s “Revolution”

01 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by in Faith, Friendship, Inspirational, Legacy, Love, Relationships

≈ 11 Comments

It is easy to get trapped into survival mode these days. We can all probably think of several moments, just this past year, when the days and weeks passed as quickly as a clock in the night (Psalm 90:4). When time seems to slip through our fingers like water and dries up with the first gust of wind that blows and the moment we turn our head the “day” has already disappeared and (WOW!)…another year has passed.

Admittedly, 2014 was filled with days like these and this mere recollection leaves me wanting to turn back time. But I can’t. And I am okay with that. There is something very freeing knowing that the past is gone. I used to consume myself with ‘what was’ rather than rejoice with ‘what is’ and ‘what will be.’ Starting a new year can metaphorically feel like a starting over period. Kind of like the scripture says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new.” How perfectly inspiring to know that God gives us an opportunity each and every day to ‘become new’ because we are in Christ.

As I was reflecting on this past year and thinking about the new year of 2015, a resolution was not the solution that God challenged me with this morning. Yeah, I could probably set a goal to lose a few pounds or save money to buy a new car, etc. But who is that serving? (ME)! It’s humbling to admit that when we are in the tedious cycle of survival living, our unconscious selfishness is often the root of our despair and regret and each day feels like it’s devoted to serving ourselves. Scary reality and even depressing at times!

Love

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Personal goals are important and necessary to make but instead of only making a list of resolutions this year and commitments to personal goals that only serve self, I propose we create a revolution (a new and obvious social order in our culture and communities), to honor and serve God, by loving more even when it feels like we are just trying to survive the day; a conscious effort to show God’s love by loving others.

Here are some examples of ways to show love to others each and every day:

  • Make time for them, no matter how busy you are.
  • Offer a hug.
  • Help them or serve them in some capacity to make their life easier.
  • Surprise them randomly – (note/card/gift/act of service/etc)
  • Cook or clean for them.
  • Listen to them.
  • Encourage them.
  • Smile at them and look them in the eyes.

I pray that this year challenges you (as it will me) to be ‘others focused’ each day, no matter what is going on, with the goal of glorifying God in our meaningful attempt to change a society from ‘self-serving’ to ‘God-serving.’

“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

Love,

Kristen

Everything is Going to Be Okay

13 Thursday Nov 2014

Posted by in Faith, Inspirational, Legacy, Love

≈ 21 Comments

It often feels like life moves in a million different directions and just when we start to get comfortable with one path, God throws us another curve ball to change-up the game.

The text message I received from a friend shortly after the incident said it all, “Gotta love God’s reminders of what is important.”

I had seen the man out of the corner of my eye as I was making my transaction at this local bank. Just days prior I had opened a new account due to my recent move. It wasn’t minutes later when the shattering of glass from the front windows and doors echoed screams and cries that still make my heart race as I write this. I saw him…he was holding a gun and a baseball bat.

“Get down!!!!”…were the only words I could think to yell as I witnessed the glass shatter in front of me.

In a matter of seconds I darted towards the closest office I could see, grabbing the woman’s arm who had no idea what was going on, as we crouched fearfully under a desk in an attempt to hide. However, the clear glass window exposing the office made this attempt almost pointless. I had fumbled with the door knob hoping to secure it but much to my terror there was no lock; so I crouched as low as I could behind the small desk garbage can. The woman who was crying and shaking to my right was mad at herself for not having her gun on her. She muttered angrily, “…what’s the point of conceal and carry if I can’t carry my gun into a bank for situations like this!!”

The woman to my left, who aligned her body perfectly parallel with the wall underneath the desk, was immediately on the phone with 9-1-1.

…I realized in that split second response that I had left all my belongings on the counter by the teller. I didn’t care.

(“Gotta love God’s reminders of what is important”)

…I had never felt so helpless…

So I started to pray…

…”Please Lord, protect us.”

…”Please Lord, protect us.”

…”Please Lord, protect us.”

The prayers from my mouth became louder as I heard the 9-1-1 dispatcher through the phone. I held the other woman’s hand and said, “We are going to be okay, everything is going to be okay.” But, in that instant, I only imagined my life ending.

As soon as I heard the office door open I almost threw up. It’s amazing how our bodies respond physiologically to fear. Even though I knew everything was going to be okay, I still feared the worst.

broken glass

But, when the office manager opened the door and said, “He’s gone,” I had never felt such relief. None of us could even stand up because we were shaking so bad. As we all slowly made our way out into open territory I couldn’t help but empathize for the others who were stricken with equal fear; tears streaming down their faces, terrified bystanders, concerned employees. I had never seen anything like it. Time had stopped. Work had stopped. Hugs were shared. Witnesses were questioned. Phone calls were made.

(“Gotta love God’s reminders of what is important”)

As I have reflected on this incident in the last 24 hours the urgency of my writing became great. Nothing bad happened. No one died. No one was hurt. But, I believe everyone who was there will never forget how they felt…and how it shook their world.

And I ask myself today, will it change them, like it has changed me?

…Will it change how they love others?

…Will it change how they live their lives or prioritize their time?

…Will it change their behaviors?

…Will it change what they believe or how they practice what they believe?

As I crouched underneath that desk assuming the worst, I still believed that everything would be okay. I was terrified, but I believed. I knew that if my life ended in that moment, that I would be with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But… did they?

Charles H. Spurgeon once said, “Have you no wish for others to be saved? Then you’re not saved yourself, be sure of that!”

It’s not enough to secure our own salvation. Yes, as a believer I know one day everything is going to be okay. But, will everyone be okay?

It’s hard to live your life in the same manner when you understand the timeline of life vs. eternity. And yet, everyday I fall short of not serving more or loving more or praying more or leading more. I just wish in that instant I had the courage to ask those women under the desk with me if they knew Jesus. But…I didn’t. I was only thinking of myself.

I just wonder what it will take for more believers (like myself) to speak Truth into the world and not care so much about what the world thinks. If I knew I was going to die yesterday, why did I care so much about what those women would think? That may have been God’s one opportunity to speak Truth into their lives by using me… and I blew it. Shame on me for not standing up for Him!

God’s purpose for us is so big and often we forget that He is the only reason we are here. Shouldn’t that reality equally shake us?

(“…Gotta love God’s reminders of what is important…”)

This incident has stirred my heart and shaken my core. I just wonder how many times God has awakened me to the reality of how short life really is and how big my purpose is but how many times I have wasted those reminders by only thinking of myself. I am so grateful for the peace I have in my heart in knowing that everything is going to be okay in the end; but that doesn’t eliminate the urgency of wanting others to have that same peace too. 

That is all.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

Love,

Kristen

Life: Heaven’s Waiting Room

08 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by in Faith, Freedom, Inspirational, Legacy, LIFE Leadership, Love

≈ 9 Comments

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“Have you ever done this type of work before…?” The facility director asked with optimism.

“Some, but not professionally.” I responded. “…But I love doing this kind of work.”

I was desperate to find something during a critical transitional time so it didn’t matter what type of work I would be doing. 3rd shift CNA-type work was acceptable as long as it filled the need I had been looking for.

I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I took the position. I had one co-worker tell me, “This can be a disgusting job if you aren’t used to it…” My only thought was, what’s so disgusting about caring for others? It wasn’t the job or work that bothered me. These were human beings, people who had families that loved them and a life story. Another co-worker said, “Don’t try to get too close to the residents….places like this are where people come to die.”

You are kidding me right? What a heartless thing to say.

But, many did die…on my watch.

After spending some time with the residents, I began to wonder what their lives used to be. People change drastically when they grow old. Being a caregiver on the graveyard shift left me ‘getting to know’ the residents mostly through their pictures. In one of the pictures was a resident dancing in the arms of her husband with her eyes closed, smiling with such an infectious bliss, one would think it was the happiest moment in her life. But she deteriorated fast; it was painful to watch her in a catatonic state, barely blinking and not moving in her bed. That was very common on the memory care unit I was primarily assigned to.

After merely a few hours working in the facility, I could feel how lonely most of these people were. I find it too difficult to imagine how friends and family of a deceased resident could recall their fondest memories at the funeral while completely omitting the time they left the resident by themselves when they needed company the most.

On the random occasion when I would pick up a day shift, I noticed it was not uncommon for a resident to sit quietly by themselves looking out the window waiting for love and interaction with someone who cared to give them time. “This is Heaven’s waiting room…” one nurse said, as I remember a time sadly gazing at the woman who always kept her Bible and cross close to her side in the wheelchair with a lonely hollow glare in her eyes. However, her soul was anything but hollow.

…Heaven’s waiting room…? I thought…

Isn’t life a ‘waiting room’ for Heaven?

I imagine being ‘one of them’ – completely dependent on someone else to take care of me; how it must feel to completely surrender your independence because you just can’t do it on your own.

I remember back when I realized I just couldn’t do it on my own; when I needed to surrender my independence to The One who I could completely depend on. I wasn’t elderly, and I wasn’t needing someone to feed, dress, change and bath me. Actually, I needed more than that. I was in need of a Savior; a rescuer. Not a caregiver.

From the perspective of time, Heaven is eternal, everlasting, never-ending. Life is not. We enter into it about as fast as we leave it (and often the same way). God knew it would be that way; He knew it would be temporary, which is why He provided a Savior in Jesus Christ as a bridge to eternal life. He knew that in His waiting room we would experience fear, anxiety, anticipation, questions, anger and frustration. But he also knew we would experience courage, peace, patience, joy, purpose and love. He knew that some people would spend less time waiting than others (realizing that people who pass early in life just had an appointment with Him much sooner than the rest). And while we may not like that reality (right now), it isn’t the last time we will ever see them, because we have an appointment with Him too, someday – which will bring us back to them.

“Death is a lot less scary when you have something to look forward to…” I remember whispering in her ear when she was approaching her final days ‘in the waiting room.’

It was hard not to get attached. I love(d) these residents dearly.

residents

Every interaction was a reminder for me not to take my days for granted. Boy was that ‘desperation’ job a blessing. And as we sit in the real ‘waiting rooms’ of life, faced with the unknown of our present (and future), we are reminded of the promises God has for those who love Him:

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith, be men (and women) of courage; be strong.” 1 Corinthians 16:13

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12

…and always remember in the waiting rooms of life that there is nothing ‘unknown’ to God.

Love,

Kristen

Human Kindness Overflowing

20 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by in Faith, Friendship, Inspirational, Love, Relationships

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“Never look down on anybody unless you are helping them up.” Jesse Jackson

I am filled with gratitude today.

I’m sure I am not alone when I assume that many people are fed up with the negativity surrounding social media, news stories and natural conversation in the public. It seems that the drama of negative news poses entertainment for some people who can’t find positive things to be conversational about.

Early this morning I spent some time at a local small town coffee shop. So small that they only accepted cash for purchases. Being someone who rarely carries cash I proceeded to pay for my coffee with a debit card and quickly found out that they didn’t accept electronic transactions. I felt bad because I wanted to support their business and wanted the convenience of not having to search for another venue. The bill amounted to only $2.25.

The conversation went something like this:

Them – “No problem about the payment, can you stop back later to pay?”

Me – “Probably not, I won’t be able to get back here before you close tonight.”

Them – “Well, when is the next time you are in the area? We’ll square up then.”

Me – “I can stop back tomorrow morning. Will you be here?”

Them – “No, but I will just write your name on the receipt and you can just pay whoever is here.”

Me – “Really? You trust me that much?”

She proceeded to take my receipt and tape it to the wall; and mine was not the only one up there.

Them – “Yes.”  (With a smile)

…(And of course I will be dropping off my ‘payment’ – with interest, tomorrow)!

Human kindness is an expression of the heart that can’t be bought or sold but can only be given freely through our actions. The fact that this coffee shop believes in trusting people is an ACT of kindness.

Action includes some kind of self-sacrifice and therefore generosity on our part. I have been the receiver of so much kindness lately that it has encouraged this posting. Have you received any kindness lately worthy of sharing? I would love to start a feed of positive postings surrounding the good things people are doing in the world.

Please share in the comments section below.

“Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions.” 1 John 3:18

Love, Kristen

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Community and Influence: It’s Not About the Pebble

14 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by in Community and Leadership, Faith, Friendship, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership, Love, Relationships

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“Every life comes with an expiration date” said the acquaintance in line as I waited close to 3.5 hours to say my goodbye’s to a good friend who tragically lost her life in a boating accident. “This certainly isn’t an ideal situation” he said as the awkward conversations continued to magnify in this extended visitation. Ha – ideal…death is never ideal!

I spent a lot of time thinking about Megan’s dash in those hours as I looked at her remembrance card that read 1986-2014. I thought about the memories I not only had with her but with all of my loved ones, friends and family who had reached their expiration date. It’s hard not to imagine your own dash in those moments. Will I leave the type of legacy or impact that they left? How will I be remembered? It’s not a coincidence that many of my articles are purpose centered or ‘difference’ driven. Life really is short. It’s not just a cliché. Knowing this, shouldn’t our life mean something?

I reflected on all the times I may have stood in line at the supermarket thumbing through my social networking sites on my Smartphone when just inches away there was an elderly woman just looking for a little social interaction…and I missed it…knowing full well that she was probably closer to her expiration date than I. I thought about the comments my dear grandmother would make as too often my cell phone seemed to take precedence over our relationship when all she was hoping for was an uninterrupted conversation with her grand-daughter; and those missed opportunities are now gone because she is gone. The choices we so often make without realizing the effect or the regret we may later experience because of those decisions. Sometimes God shows Himself during the most in-opportune times and we either seize the opportunity or we miss it.

I have reflected on those moments more often in the last 6 months than I ever have in my life. The average person is not thinking about their dash; they are not thinking about how their decisions will affect their relationships with people; they are not thinking about their expiration date.

The anxiety (or urgency) I generally experience on a daily basis has disciplined my awareness to the people and situations I am in and with so much un-anticipated grief around me I can’t help but slow down and reflect on what is truly important. I spent some time last night looking out over the waters of a beautiful landscape thinking about my friend’s whose lives had just expired realizing that my life could end in an instant just like theirs; understanding that I too am faced with an expiration date.

While sitting in my silence, I reached down towards the pebbles below and tossed one into the calm waters that reflected the bright setting sun. The ripple practically stretched for miles as I discovered the metaphor that God was revealing to me in that instant. It didn’t take long for me to understand the parallel that even just one pebble could stretch further than I ever thought possible – if thrown into a large body of water.

Imagine this with me if you will:

ripple effect 2Pebbles are small acts of kindness we do for others and the body of water is our community. If we have a small body of water wouldn’t it make sense that even multiple pebbles thrown into a small body of water would only extend as far as the body of water that it’s thrown into? Everyone will leave a ripple effect. But the difference in the ripple will be determined by the number of people you’ve influenced…NOT just the number of pebbles that you toss into the water. Which, metaphorically speaking, it doesn’t matter how much influence you have in one person’s life or how many small acts of kindness you make in a small community, if our ripple only extends to as far as our body of water reaches then it’s only logical that our impact eventually stops once that ripple reaches the shoreline.

Knowing this, I would rather focus on the size of the body of water rather than the number of pebbles thrown. Most people have no problem helping their friends and family or the people they already know, tossing more and more pebbles into that same small community. But wouldn’t it make sense that if we want to increase our influence and impact more people’s lives, we have to look outside of our current circle of friends and family?

ripple effect 1The next question may be, how do we gain such influence? That’s simple – servant leadership. The people who have made the biggest difference in my life were complete strangers to me before they decided to extend their body of water, increase their leadership and serve others. They are men and women who looked outward from their own circle because they knew that it wasn’t about the size of the pebble or the number or pebbles, they knew it was about the size of the body of water and ‘the people’ they were led to serve. Men and women like Orrin and Laurie Woodward who choose to extend their body of water and serve on a daily basis, not because they expect something in return, but because they care about people and the purpose God has for them in helping people.

What I love so much about the LIFE Leadership community is that it’s a platform to extend our body of water and our influence so far and so wide that our ripple effect could essentially echo into eternity. I have been blessed to meet and befriend so many people that were complete strangers to me prior to being associated with the LIFE community; and conversely people have befriended, helped and influenced me in more ways than I can even describe. And in all of our interactions we have been granted a mission to pay it forward affecting another person’s life and potentially, their legacy.

When Jackie Lewis reached the finish line, 100’s of thousands of people across the nation were affected by her life and her message and she continues to change and impact people’s lives today. Because of her love of people and her servant heart, Jackie’s ripple and her legacy will continue to extend for generations and I am certain she is reaping a boundless reward in Heaven today.

But certainly the best example of influence is Jesus. We have a model of servant leadership in Jesus Christ that has directly impacted and changed lives for thousands of years and His ripple continues to span across the globe. It is because of Him, that we have any influence or ripple at all. His influence is eternal and it’s the type legacy we should all live our lives striving for.

Life is short. As my mentor Jill Guzzardo says, “We don’t have a 1,000 years to do this…”

Live your life so that when you die you continue to live through all the lives you’ve changed.

Love,

Kristen