Category Archives: Love

Community and Influence: It’s Not About the Pebble

14 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by in Community and Leadership, Faith, Friendship, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership, Love, Relationships

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“Every life comes with an expiration date” said the acquaintance in line as I waited close to 3.5 hours to say my goodbye’s to a good friend who tragically lost her life in a boating accident. “This certainly isn’t an ideal situation” he said as the awkward conversations continued to magnify in this extended visitation. Ha – ideal…death is never ideal!

I spent a lot of time thinking about Megan’s dash in those hours as I looked at her remembrance card that read 1986-2014. I thought about the memories I not only had with her but with all of my loved ones, friends and family who had reached their expiration date. It’s hard not to imagine your own dash in those moments. Will I leave the type of legacy or impact that they left? How will I be remembered? It’s not a coincidence that many of my articles are purpose centered or ‘difference’ driven. Life really is short. It’s not just a cliché. Knowing this, shouldn’t our life mean something?

I reflected on all the times I may have stood in line at the supermarket thumbing through my social networking sites on my Smartphone when just inches away there was an elderly woman just looking for a little social interaction…and I missed it…knowing full well that she was probably closer to her expiration date than I. I thought about the comments my dear grandmother would make as too often my cell phone seemed to take precedence over our relationship when all she was hoping for was an uninterrupted conversation with her grand-daughter; and those missed opportunities are now gone because she is gone. The choices we so often make without realizing the effect or the regret we may later experience because of those decisions. Sometimes God shows Himself during the most in-opportune times and we either seize the opportunity or we miss it.

I have reflected on those moments more often in the last 6 months than I ever have in my life. The average person is not thinking about their dash; they are not thinking about how their decisions will affect their relationships with people; they are not thinking about their expiration date.

The anxiety (or urgency) I generally experience on a daily basis has disciplined my awareness to the people and situations I am in and with so much un-anticipated grief around me I can’t help but slow down and reflect on what is truly important. I spent some time last night looking out over the waters of a beautiful landscape thinking about my friend’s whose lives had just expired realizing that my life could end in an instant just like theirs; understanding that I too am faced with an expiration date.

While sitting in my silence, I reached down towards the pebbles below and tossed one into the calm waters that reflected the bright setting sun. The ripple practically stretched for miles as I discovered the metaphor that God was revealing to me in that instant. It didn’t take long for me to understand the parallel that even just one pebble could stretch further than I ever thought possible – if thrown into a large body of water.

Imagine this with me if you will:

ripple effect 2Pebbles are small acts of kindness we do for others and the body of water is our community. If we have a small body of water wouldn’t it make sense that even multiple pebbles thrown into a small body of water would only extend as far as the body of water that it’s thrown into? Everyone will leave a ripple effect. But the difference in the ripple will be determined by the number of people you’ve influenced…NOT just the number of pebbles that you toss into the water. Which, metaphorically speaking, it doesn’t matter how much influence you have in one person’s life or how many small acts of kindness you make in a small community, if our ripple only extends to as far as our body of water reaches then it’s only logical that our impact eventually stops once that ripple reaches the shoreline.

Knowing this, I would rather focus on the size of the body of water rather than the number of pebbles thrown. Most people have no problem helping their friends and family or the people they already know, tossing more and more pebbles into that same small community. But wouldn’t it make sense that if we want to increase our influence and impact more people’s lives, we have to look outside of our current circle of friends and family?

ripple effect 1The next question may be, how do we gain such influence? That’s simple – servant leadership. The people who have made the biggest difference in my life were complete strangers to me before they decided to extend their body of water, increase their leadership and serve others. They are men and women who looked outward from their own circle because they knew that it wasn’t about the size of the pebble or the number or pebbles, they knew it was about the size of the body of water and ‘the people’ they were led to serve. Men and women like Orrin and Laurie Woodward who choose to extend their body of water and serve on a daily basis, not because they expect something in return, but because they care about people and the purpose God has for them in helping people.

What I love so much about the LIFE Leadership community is that it’s a platform to extend our body of water and our influence so far and so wide that our ripple effect could essentially echo into eternity. I have been blessed to meet and befriend so many people that were complete strangers to me prior to being associated with the LIFE community; and conversely people have befriended, helped and influenced me in more ways than I can even describe. And in all of our interactions we have been granted a mission to pay it forward affecting another person’s life and potentially, their legacy.

When Jackie Lewis reached the finish line, 100’s of thousands of people across the nation were affected by her life and her message and she continues to change and impact people’s lives today. Because of her love of people and her servant heart, Jackie’s ripple and her legacy will continue to extend for generations and I am certain she is reaping a boundless reward in Heaven today.

But certainly the best example of influence is Jesus. We have a model of servant leadership in Jesus Christ that has directly impacted and changed lives for thousands of years and His ripple continues to span across the globe. It is because of Him, that we have any influence or ripple at all. His influence is eternal and it’s the type legacy we should all live our lives striving for.

Life is short. As my mentor Jill Guzzardo says, “We don’t have a 1,000 years to do this…”

Live your life so that when you die you continue to live through all the lives you’ve changed.

Love,

Kristen

 

 

 

 

 

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‘Potential’ Regrets

26 Monday May 2014

Posted by in Faith, Inspirational, Legacy, LIFE Leadership, Love

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For several weeks, since the weather has actually started to feel like Spring, I have utilized every opportunity to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. My new routine has been a 6am early morning walk through the streets of Waukesha where I listen to worship music, drink coffee, think, pray and ponder. It’s taken me about two weeks to map my route as I get bored with the same scenery every day. So each day I choose to start in a different direction to add some variety to my morning.

In sticking with my routine this morning, even on the weekends, I decided to go a little bit further and walk a little bit longer than usual. I spontaneously started in a westward direction, coffee in hand, breathing in the purity of a new day. Pacing at a fairly slow and relaxed speed, I took in my surroundings and enjoyed the splendor of a beautiful daybreak. These early morning walks have been a great therapeutic addition to the chaos of life; reminding me of how beautiful life is and how much I appreciate being alive. These walks have allowed me to think more deeply about my purpose and also pray more faithfully to the God who created me.

cemetery

However, this morning’s walk was much different than the rest. I was familiar with the streets and I was familiar with the area but I was not familiar with my surroundings. As I paced leisurely around this large open land I couldn’t help but notice that I was circling around a cemetery. I had driven these streets daily; I had even walked and ran these sidewalks several times before. But today was the first day I recognized the significance of my location. I abruptly halted my leisure pace, turned the volume all the way down on my music and sat on the edge of where the grass meets the pavement of a fully populated graveyard…the sun was just rising and there was hardly a civilian or car in sight.

In any other situation I would have sped up my stride in order to get away from the area; cemeteries have always creeped me out. Probably because I watched too many horror flicks growing up. But this time I was convicted to stop. And not only stop, but sit down. I gleaned at a distance to some of the plots where real people’s bodies lay at rest. I couldn’t help but think of my own loved ones whose bodies lay still underground in a similar plot just in a different location. It reminded me of how precious life really is and how much the sunrise meant to me today, because for the souls I was sitting amongst, they couldn’t see it. And someday, I wouldn’t be able to either.

I could not muster the courage to walk through the grounds but what I could see within close proximity of where I was sitting were the names of people…and underneath the names were their birth dates and death dates, separated by a dash. A while back, Chris Brady produced an incredible LIFE leadership audio titled “The Dash” and this talk has always remained etched in my mind. However, it wasn’t until this morning, that my dash first became real to me as I sat in the silence of that land.

I had a conversation with a friend just yesterday who I was introducing LIFE leadership to and ironically our conversation consisted of the very topic I am writing about today. God’s timing is so amazing.

Her paraphrased words were, “once the initial sting of my death wears off (to my loved ones), I wonder who will actually miss me or remember me? Will I have made enough of a difference for people to continue talking about me after I am gone…?”

Such a powerful question that I believe very few people ever ask themselves. And I am proud of her for asking it. Are we afraid to ask ourselves that question because we don’t want to accept the fact that someday we are going to die? Are we afraid to ask ourselves because we don’t want the responsibility and pressure of doing something important or significant with our lives? That was definitely me. For a long time I naively believed that my dash would last forever…as long as I didn’t think about it. And if I didn’t think about it then it didn’t matter if I accomplished anything important each day. I was successfully getting myself one step closer to death safely.

As I sat there this morning, looking at a field of hundreds of stones, I thought about all the people who had the potential to do something great with their lives but may have never had the courage to ask that question. Names forgotten…people forgotten. They went to the grave with ‘potential’ regrets; their lives ended and so did their legacy. Sadly, buried beneath the soils around the world and even blocks from our homes are people who never accomplished their dreams because they never had the audacity to pursue them: songs that were never sung, books that were never written, words that were never spoken, lives that were never touched, inventions that were never designed, plans that were never acted on, ideas that were never shared, stories that were never told and purposes that were never fulfilled – people who naively believed their dash would last forever. People who had the potential to leave a powerful and lasting legacy, but ran out of time. I know this is not very encouraging but I sure hope it is motivating.

Change

I reflect back on certain seasons of my life where I didn’t have goals, I didn’t have a purpose and I didn’t have a dream or a cause I was chasing after…they were very depressing, insignificant, boring and unfulfilling times of my life. I just imagine if my dash ended in the midst of my complacency – how would I have been remembered then?…scary thought. I thank God that those seasons didn’t consume me for several years but that He was patient with me in my temporary darkness. Sadly, for many Americans, this type of lifestyle is ‘normal’ and ‘common’ and often people don’t even realize the insignificance of their life because they are being deceived into thinking that it’s all okay; and they live this way for years…sometimes their entire life. But, it’s not okay. And it doesn’t have to be that way.

I feel a major sense of urgency as I write this…not just for myself but for everyone I come in contact with. None of us will ever escape death. As Terri Brady said on a recent audio, “there is a too late…” And as George Guzzardo says, “there is a finish line we will all eventually cross.”

The question is, will your life be buried and forgotten with ‘potential’ regrets or remembered and talked about because you lived your life well and made a difference?

Blessings,

Kristen

Our Life is a Ministry

07 Wednesday May 2014

Posted by in Faith, Friendship, Inspirational, Legacy, LIFE Leadership, Love, Relationships

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“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides.” 1 Peter 4:10-11

When I first came to the Lord back in 2009 I felt enormous pressure to share the message of Jesus. My life had changed so dramatically that the thought of someone living a single day without the hope of Christ terrified me. I felt I had a responsibility to share this message with every person I came into contact with. However, my naïve and ignorant understanding of the gospel proved that what I felt in my heart would be a more challenging task to accomplish than anticipated.

My story is much different than most for the mere fact that I didn’t have any pre-conceived notions of what Christianity actually was. I had no religious or spiritual background, no prior experience with the church and very little influence in my associations growing up. So, when I started to learn Biblical principles taught through personal development books and audios through LIFE Leadership, and surrounding myself with people who were living out these principles, it caught my attention. I started to witness and meet people who were actually married…and happy! I started to make friends with people whose passions didn’t involve partying, living for the weekends and substance abuse but loving and serving others (with no hidden agenda) and chasing after dreams.

That quick transformation from Christ-empty to Christ-full changed everything for me. Anyone who has experienced this revelation knows what I am talking about. But, with this transformation came an urgency that I had never felt before. And it’s the feeling of urgency that inspired me to write this article.

When I mentioned that early on I felt an overwhelming pressure to spread the ‘good’ news, I was not exaggerating. I went so far as to sign up for a mission trip overseas, write and send out support letters and plan time off (which I eventually never went on – a story for a different article)…learning you don’t have to cross oceans and borders to serve God. When I was teaching in public schools I felt determined to convert my students because I couldn’t live with the idea of them growing up and going through life without Jesus (like I did). I even remember a very specific conversation with one of my high school sophomores who challenged me regarding sin, eternity and salvation and her belief that there can’t possibly be a God – which was a belief that she concluded on the basis of her peers who were all professed atheists. Later learning that their belief was developed without ever hearing the Truth (just like me)… never hearing the story of Adam and Eve or how sin entered this world, let alone the story of Jesus. Of course these kids didn’t believe; most of my students came from broken homes with no Biblical or moral foundation. How can one possibly believe the Truth if they have never heard it?

I realized in those early experiences of attempting to play ‘God’ that WE (humans) cannot convert people into believing in Jesus no matter how excited we are, no matter how knowledgeable we are and no matter how deep Jesus is rooted in our hearts. Only God can ‘convert’ people. Sometimes he has to break us completely or back us into a corner and bring us to our knees in order to turn to Him; sometimes He has to put the right person or mentor in our path; sometimes He has to give us worldly ‘things’ like materialism or status and then take it all away in order for us to realize how meaningless those things are; sometimes He has to challenge us in the things we can’t control – like an illness or loss in order to put our faith and trust in Him for the things unknown.

My own experiences in attempting to analyze and understand God’s plan (which is a contradictory statement because I don’t understand and never will in this life) opened my eyes to how God might be using me to serve Him.

I started this article stating that when I first heard the Truth I felt pressured into thinking I had a responsibility (as a believer) to share this message of Truth with everyone. While this is a very true statement, it certainly isn’t realistic (if we are referring to words). In time I have learned that the message of Truth isn’t always what is spoken, but what is practiced. Most often our message of Truth is revealed in how we live our lives; in our daily interactions with people, in our attitude, in our behavior, in our choices, in our compassion, in our service, in our love and forgiveness. In fact, that’s exactly what led me to the Truth in the beginning. It was the people I started to surround myself with who lived their life as a ministry rather than trying to act like a ‘minister.’

Recently, I had an experience that helped to confirm this revelation reducing some of the pressure I have always felt in my heart. To ‘speak Truth,’ that is powerful…but to ‘live the truth,’ (no matter what the situation or circumstance)…that is how you really spread the message of Jesus. Let me elaborate:

This past Friday night was interesting but not out of the ordinary. Let’s face it, I am getting used to the attacks and finding them quite humorous (after the fact). However, this one caught me by surprise. I had gotten home late and was preparing for a moving sale the next day and was running out of time. It was raining outside, my house was a disaster and all I could think about was how much I still had to get done. I remember one of my neighbors (on the left) telling me that I could borrow some tables for my sale. So as I am walking outside in the rain, complete darkness, the neighbor on the right immediately shouts from his garage as he is smoking a cigarette (and I am standing in the rain), “So you’re moving?” To which I responded…”well, not tonight (slightly sarcastic and jokingly).” Quickly finding out he was not in a joking mood. From there he proceeds to share rude and inappropriate comments regarding my decisions (under the influence of alcohol of course) eventually raising his voice and yelling at me for 15 + minutes (His words cut deep as tears started streaming down my face). I was speechless. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. But I stood there and let him vent – at the expense of my emotions…without responding. Eventually I told him to ‘have a good night’ as I walked back in my house and continued my emotional meltdown – not understanding what just happened (and…never getting the tables I needed).

10 minutes later I hear a knock at my front door – around 10pm (I thought it was him). It was his wife. She came over to apologize for his behavior. While I was clearly upset (as the tears had not ceased), I did all I knew I could do which was to hug her and tell her that it was all okay and that I forgave him.

She continued to say, “NO…NO. How can you possibly forgive Him? Don’t forgive him. He needs to apologize. That was completely unacceptable and he does not deserve your forgiveness without a personal apology.”

I tried to tell her, “But Sue, I forgave him before I even walked back into the house. These tears are not from his words. These tears are just from stress. He just happened to stop me at a really bad time.”

She would not accept the forgiveness for her husband’s actions… (but it didn’t change what I felt in my heart). I’ve known this man for 7 years and I know he did not intend to hurt my feelings like she thought he did.

So, Sunday morning came (two days later) and as I pulled around toward my driveway after church he and his wife were outside. (Before Christ I would have gone around the block a few times and waited for them to go in the house in an attempt to avoid any confrontation or conflict). But this day I had no problem pulling in the driveway. I smiled out my drivers side window at them (like normal) and as I got out of my car, Brad (the neighbor) says, “I am so sorry…I am so sorry. I did not mean anything I said. I was drinking. You are wonderful. I completely understand if you don’t forgive me, but I am so sorry.” All I could think to do in order to show him I forgave him was to give him a hug and say, “No worries, I forgive you. Nothing to be sorry about”… and we both walked back into our homes and the issue was resolved.

Love 2

God IS forgiveness. If we forgive, we are revealing Him. My neighbors didn’t know my beliefs. All they knew was that a very ugly situation could have gotten much worse had God not revealed Himself through me that night. That is what I mean by living the Truth. (But please don’t take this the wrong way, this is not about me or what I did. This is about what God did. He sent His son to be nailed to a cross so that WE would be forgiven. He loves us that much. If He can forgive us, in all our mess and sin (often without apologizing), what right do we have not to forgive each other).

I am learning that even in the chaos of life, God is always calm. If we really have Christ in our heart then the best way to reveal Him, is to live like Him. Not just when it feels right or comfortable. Not just when things are going well. Always. D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones says, “Be unaffected by circumstance. Do not let it control you. Do not be mastered by it. Do not let it get you down or determine your misery or joy.” This life is not easy. But, if we live it like it’s our ministry, expecting pain and struggle in the process, while continuing to serve, love and forgive, despite our circumstances, then we can never say to ourselves…I should have done more. There is nothing more we can do. The urgency we feel to ‘speak truth’ to everyone we meet is resolved in ‘living the truth.’ Continue to reveal Him through our actions and love people like He loves us; that is our ministry.

Love,

Kristen

Look Up!

03 Saturday May 2014

Posted by in Community and Leadership, Friendship, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership, Love, Relationships

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While technology, in essence, has shrunk the world and brought us closer together, it’s also threatened to push us further apart. Being intentional in controlling the use of our handheld and lap devices is essential in leading a more meaningful life. It is true, I have read many articles pertaining to the use of technology and relationships mostly because I need a staunch reminder myself to Look Up. Recently I stumbled across this video that stopped me in my tracks as I had my ear buds in sitting at a coffee shop looking at You Tube videos on my Smartphone. Ha – God has a good sense of humor. But, I pray that upon watching this video you will be encouraged to put down the Smartphone and Look Up at the people and world around you. We miss out on so much when we let technology rule our lives. 

Enjoy!

Love, 

Kristen

Related articles:

Electronics Addiction: Another Leading Cause of Busyness – Terri Brady

Leadership Soft-Skill: Building Relationships – Orrin Woodward

Leaders as Heroes – George Guzzardo

Relationships – Chris Brady

The Hourglass

07 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by in Faith, Inspirational, Legacy, LIFE Founders, Love, Relationships

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Sometimes I lay in bed at night and think about the day’s events and just wonder if all of this is real? I have to pinch myself just to make sure that I am alive. It’s on nights like these, when my mind will just not shut off, that I reflect on how strong God made man to be.

grandmaThis past Monday I had to bury my grandma. She was my last living grandparent and a woman who stole my heart while she walked this earth. We had a very special bond that I believe very few grand-kids develop with a grandparent. I never imagined living my life without her and now that she is gone, it has made each day just a little bit more empty. She lived her life as a reflection of who Jesus Christ was. She was self-less, loving and forgiving. She lived a full life into her late 80’s and fought all the way to the end. Just moments before her passing she still had the strength to make the sign of the cross as the priest prayed over her. A woman who is living life eternally with the Creator of the world, she has left a legacy behind to all those who were blessed to know her.

In the meantime, during all the events of my grandma’s passing I was thinking about and praying for a very special lady who has also made an imprint in my heart as well as thousands of other people’s lives, LIFE co-founder, wife, mother of four and friend to many – Jackie Lewis. When I heard of her worsening condition Sunday evening I fervently prayed that God would heal her. Each day that went by her condition continued to worsen and by Tuesday evening we were praying for a miracle. In those days I have never prayed so much or cried so much.

jackie-quoteI believe Jackie’s fight brought 10’s of thousands of people closer to Christ in just a matter of days. And in her last 12 hours people literally put their life on hold to lift Jackie, the doctor’s, her family and friends in prayer in hopes that a miracle would happen. Communities around the world were consumed by her story, her fight and her faith. People who have never believed in anything started to pray and began to have faith and believe in a higher power. People who didn’t even know Jackie were crying out to God for a healing. While Jackie may not have been able to physically see the impact that her fight was making in thousands of people’s lives in those days, I am certain that as she looks down on us today she can smile and know that she is still in this world by the legacy she has left behind in people’s hearts and souls.

hour-glassIsn’t it interesting how God has a timeline… or hourglass (as my friend and mentor George Guzzardo likes to say) for everyone’s life. We don’t know how much sand is left in the hourglass; but what we do know is that one day, our last grain of sand will reach the bottom and it’s what we do before that last grain falls that makes all the difference. We would all like to hope that our sand moves slower through the hourglass so that we can live a long life into our late 80’s, just as my grandma did. But that isn’t always the case. We see that in a woman who went Home to be with the Lord at 32 years old and realize that the hourglass is so unpredictable. We recognize that we have no control over the speed of the sand that falls. But what we do know is that Someone is in control of that hourglass – and it isn’t us.

Jackie lived on this earth for 32 years and while we may not understand why she was called Home so soon – we can know that she made a difference in more people’s lives than most people do who live a full life. Not only did she impact thousands of lives while she was living – she changed even more lives while she was dying. We can never claim to understand why God does the things that He does but as I reflect on all these events this past week, I can say with certainty that He does have a plan and His plan is always perfect – despite what we want to believe or the confusion we often feel as we live in this world.

I pray that everyone who has been affected by Jackie’s story uses it as a reason to live a life of significance and purpose. Very few people leave the type of legacy that Jackie has left behind but I believe we are all capable of leaving that type of legacy. God knows what He is doing. He is waiting for us leave the type of impact that Jackie did. He is waiting for His people to draw near to Him and pray like their lives depended on it. To fight for their place in Heaven by living while they are alive and being an example of Jesus’ presence in the world. That is what I know my grandma did and that is what I know Jackie did. While the grains in their hourglass were completely different, their legacy was very similar and they are both being rewarded in Heaven today for who they were when they were alive. They are celebrating today with all the angels in Heaven who did not waste their hourglass.

What a gift we have to know that Jesus Christ has saved us for all of Eternity. We don’t have to fear death. We don’t have to worry about the last grain of sand in our earthly hourglass. We can leave that in His hands. Our hourglass in Eternity with Jesus is never ending and that is the hourglass we should be striving for in this life.

Hugs and prayers to everyone who is mourning the earthly loss of Jackie Lewis, Ann Mardoian and any other angels who left this earth to be with Jesus. God gave us the strength to overcome these earthly losses and use them for His glory!

“This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.” Psalm 119:50

In Christ,

Kristen

Veritas Vos Liberabit

06 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by in Brain Tumor, Faith, Inspirational, Legacy, Love

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The hinges of the flood gates were weak and the salty downpour was a constant threat.

I was at the point where anything had the potential to tip me over.

I’m normally not an emotional person, so being in that state made me feel unstable, vulnerable and weak.

I lay in bed trying to figure out what’s wrong with me? Was I subconsciously drowning in my own self pity, fearfully questioning the next chapter of my life?

Perhaps, but something uglier was going on.

I had been feeling defeated, judged, worthless, guilty, ugly, unstable and selfish; and as a result my behavior and attitude reflected my thoughts.

Old habits that I had been freed of years ago were resurfacing, and lies I no longer believed were echoing in my ears and directing my actions.

As I lay crouched up on the couch staring into the fake embers of my gas fireplace reliving a day of selfish behavior and meltdowns, the ugly whisper returns:

…you haven’t changed one bit now have you?

…what a waste of a life you have had.

I was reliving the lies of my (misunderstood) purposeless past.

For months I had been believing these lies, indirectly forcing me to question my existence and calling.

When eventually one morning I woke up to a quieter whisper, gentle but firm.

It bid me to start writing about the lies that I had been hearing.

truth

When I was finished with that, I began to pray for change, truth and clarity.

I paged through the bible looking for verses that would bring light to my darkness and suddenly I found myself filling my page with words of freedom and hope.

“Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.” Psalm 25:5

“Truth shall spring up from the earth and righteousness shall look down from heaven.” Psalm 85:11

“Little children, let us not love in theory and in speech but in deed and in truth.” 1 John 3:18

And, my favorite:

John 8:32 “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” 

…And just like that the lies had lost their sting – in fact these words empowered me.

It makes so much sense now. Of course Satan would tempt me into believing that I am worthless and purposeless. He is the complete antithesis of truth and life.

The chains that had been broken five years ago when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior were already stripped from me and no lie, no matter how believable, could ever reconnect those chains.

Ironically, just a couple days ago I was diagnosed with another brain tumor – different from the first. Were some of the emotions I had been feeling linked to this subconscious but ultimately true reality? I may never know. But what I do know is that God does have a purpose and a plan. And despite the recent news, I am confident that one day I will have the answers. But until then, my hope rests in His truth and His word.

…”For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord,” plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Jesus is freedom and He is truth! And it is by His grace that we have been set free from all the lies, sin and pain of this world.

For the rest of our lives we will be surrounded by situations and lies we can’t explain but the truth is that if we don’t receive them, they can’t have power over us. Remain faithful, live courageously and arm yourself with the Truth as your sword and shield as you go out and battle the deceit and trouble of this world.

(In Latin) Veritas vos liberabit – The Truth Shall Set you Free 

 

Love, Kristen

Just Passing Through

27 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by in Faith, Inspirational, Legacy, Love

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“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.” Philippians 3:20

FogAheadI had been driving from Southeast Wisconsin to Northern Wisconsin late one night on an intensely dark two lane highway when it started pouring rain. The densely thick fog made visibility strikingly difficult and I could barely see the white stripe on the edge of the road let alone two feet in front of me. I didn’t want to stop because I was afraid someone might come along and rear-end me so I unknowingly coasted forward hoping the rain or fog would subside in mere moments.

Up ahead I could see what appeared to be the taillights of a truck that was coasting confidently through the storm. He must have had fog lamps in front because his fearless and deliberate pace was no comparison to the disorientation I had been feeling in that instant. But somehow I knew that if I could just follow those taillights, I’d be headed in the right direction.

This experience provided a metaphor for clarity as I have reflected on the last two weeks or so. As some of you know my grandma has been fighting to live as her health is declining. In fact, just last week the doctor’s were not very optimistic about her even surviving through the holiday’s. It breaks my heart because she is my last living grandparent and our relationship is closer than almost any other relationship I have within my family. The deep and intimate talks and moments we share are etched in my memory forever.

About a week ago my mom had been leaving the nursing home where my grandma is staying temporarily and as my mom went to give her a hug to leave, my grandma tearfully gripped my mom’s shoulders tighter and didn’t want to let her go… she was afraid she would die that night. Up until these last few weeks my grandma’s tough outer shell has been broken down and her vulnerability for comfort and clarity is resting in the hands of those closest to her. Immediately the next day I went down to visit because I knew the fear and anxiety she must have been feeling and I just wanted to be there to comfort and encourage her through some of those troubling thoughts.

me and grandma 2When I walked in she lit up with joy as her smile contagiously brought a huge smile to my face as well. Before walking in I asked God to give me the strength to encourage her and give her hope in the midst of her darkness. Even though I know she is a Believer I am not certain if she fully understands God’s love and promise and hope in eternal life. I wasn’t sure how I would bring it up to her but I was just trusting in God to reveal to me the right time and I just knew that it was necessary to give her comfort in her last days, weeks or months.

Our conversation transitioned perfectly later in the evening as she said to me, “Kristen, I am dying” with defeat and fear written on her face. While everything in me just wanted to hold her and weep I just knew I couldn’t. I wanted her to know that dying is not a defeat and it is not the end. I wanted her to know that dying is actually a victory because when our bodies are no longer here on earth it means our souls are rejoicing with Jesus in Heaven for all of Eternity. It means that all the pain, struggle, fear, disappointment and chaos are now behind us and we get to live victoriously with the Creator of the world. I told her that she needs to live the remainder of her days with hope in her heart and celebration, not fear and defeat because whenever God decides to call her Home it’s because He couldn’t wait to meet her face to face.

I also told her, “if you live each and every day as if it’s a celebration, I would be willing the bet God would keep you here a lot longer because you will have appreciated the gift of life He has given you. Heck, He might even keep you here another 10 years!” She laughed and said, “I don’t know if I can handle another 10 years.”

It was so wonderful because her spirit turned completely around over the next week leading up into Christmas. Two weeks ago we were talking about Hospice and funeral arrangements and now we are talking about who is going to take care of her when she goes home!

church steepleSo let me finish the story I began with. I had been just passing through this storm while trusting in the taillights of this unknown truck for what seemed like hours when eventually the storm had passed and I could finally gain some visibility.  I could clearly see some landmarks as I rounded a curve that was silhouetted against the night sky. Just ahead I saw the steeple of a church and the cross of Christ reflecting off of the moonlight and I realized in that instant that the confusion of the fog, the heavy rain, the uncertainty of direction – it was all God revealing to me the beauty and light that is promised in Heaven beyond the fear and disorder of the world.

That experience helped me to realize that this life is only temporary and we are all just passing through for a period of time. It also encouraged my grandma during a very unfavorable and scary stage in her life. Even though it’s hard, we have to have faith in the unknown, we have to trust that God is leading us in the right direction, we have to have hope beyond the darkness and we have to realize that our struggles are temporary and eventually the storms of life will pass as victory awaits us.

People need hope. Not just hope for tomorrow but hope for all of eternity. And it is our responsibility as believers to share that hope with others. It’s real easy to allow our own fear and doubt to cloud the truth that we know in our heart. My grandma knew the truth, she just needed confirmation that what exists in her heart is the real promise of God. We celebrated Christmas to thank God for sending His spotless son to earth to die on a cross for our sins so we would never have to experience an ‘end.’ Jesus was just passing through for a mere 33 years just like we all have our own timeline – the difference is, His life (as short as it was) is the exact reason we celebrate – it’s because His legacy changed the world and our eternal lives forever!

Join my grandma in celebrating life and God’s promise for us all:

(At the request of the couple in the mirror – who were Jewish, we all joined them in Celebration on Christmas Eve – just two days ago. Enjoy!)

(I should probably clarify, grandma is still here with us. This is my way of being able to celebrate her life while she is still here).

Love,

Kristen

This… is Water…

14 Saturday Dec 2013

Posted by in Freedom, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership, Love

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A fish doesn’t appreciate water because they are born into it. They have never experienced life without it; until they are taken out of water and realize how important that water is to them.

Americans who are born into freedom don’t always appreciate freedom because they have never lived without it. Until that freedom is taken from them, then they realize how important freedom is.

 

In order to have freedom, we have to be aware of our freedoms.

“Awareness to what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight, all around us all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves, over and over, this is water…this is water.” David Foster Wallace

God Bless,

Kristen

Unspoken Love

24 Sunday Nov 2013

Posted by in Faith, Friendship, Love, Relationships

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“Give thanks to the God of heaven, for His steadfast love endures forever.” Psalm 136:26

This time of year often carries a different meaning for different people. Many people love this time of year because it is filled with the holidays, fun, family, food and love. Other people dread this time of year because it can reflect a time of grief for loved ones not here, conflict in families, loneliness and stress. I personally fall right in the middle of these two categories. Living room Christmas

I spent this afternoon setting up my Christmas tree and hanging decorations for the holiday season – a fairly common ‘ritual’ for most people around this time of year. But it was while listening to the meaning behind the lyrics of the Christmas songs that were playing in the background while warming my hands and feet in front of the fireplace that I was inspired to write this post.

Earlier this week I was extremely frustrated and stressed about some personal matters. I had a hard time dealing with the emotions associated and found myself yelling at God in anger because I just didn’t understand why it was happening or how to fix it (as if it was God’s fault). Instead of humbly asking God to help me, I was angry with Him… and carried this anger with me all week!

As my heart started to race and tears began to shed this morning in church I couldn’t help but ask God for forgiveness, help and guidance. He reminded me of Friday afternoon when my high school students displayed the sort of love that is often times only revealed through God.

One of my seniors had injured her self fairly severely in an activity and immediately my students took action. What I didn’t realize until I got into my car that afternoon was the type of love they displayed. A type of love we don’t often talk about and doesn’t always get recognition – unspoken love. In a matter of seconds I had students leading with their heart; one student ran to get an ice pack, another ran to get a wheelchair, another ran to get a cell phone to call the girl’s mom and another ran to get a nurse while others stood by to encourage her and dry her tears. Seconds later one student boldly suggested, “I think we should pray” and she led her remaining classmates in a prayer. What was so beautiful about this moment was the realization that they did this all without my instruction – it came purely from the love in their hearts. It was a very proud and memorable moment for me and more importantly for God. I guarantee that young lady left school feeling deeply loved.

It was in my reflection this morning and again later this afternoon that I realized how simple it is to display love and conversely receive love without words (just like my students modeled on Friday). Like…the unspoken love of laughter, the unspoken love of a warm hug, the unspoken love of a card filled with X’s and O’s, the unspoken love of holding someone’s hand, the unspoken love of a listening ear, the unspoken love of dancing to no music, the unspoken love of a child climbing into your lap, the unspoken love of a knowing glance, the unspoken love of a tiny hand grabbing your finger or the unspoken love of serving someone else. Who doesn’t like to give and receive this kind of love?

love GodBut I believe the most obvious and powerful unspoken love we can receive is the love of God. No matter how angry we may be with Him (or ourselves), no matter what sin we violate, no matter how broken our hearts may be or how lonely we may feel we can find peace, comfort and hope in the unspoken love of God. It was the unspoken love of God that filled my heart this morning when I needed it the most. He continued to love me even when I didn’t deserve it.

God hears every unspoken word, sees every unseen wound and mends every unbearable pain. There is no problem He can’t solve or question He can’t answer. We just have to be patient enough to listen and faithful enough to trust Him.

So as we enter into a time of holiday cheer, laughter, fun, family, food and love, lets not forget about those who don’t have anyone to celebrate with or those who are facing health challenges, a family crisis or overwhelming stress. Not only should we embrace the love in the everyday things around us but also display and share the unspoken love of God in our hearts to those who may need the hope and love of Jesus the most during this time.

“God’s unfailing love for us is an objective fact affirmed over and over in the Scriptures. It is true whether we believe it or not. Our doubts do not destroy God’s love, nor does our faith create it. It originates in the very nature of God, who is love, and it flows to us through our union with His beloved Son.” Jerry Bridges

Much love,

Kristen

Encouragement for Singles

13 Wednesday Nov 2013

Posted by in Community and Leadership, Friendship, Inspirational, Love, Relationships

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I had been sitting at the airport restaurant waiting for my flight to depart when the waitress approached and asked if anyone would be joining me. To which I responded, “nope, just me.”

single 2For the majority of my life that phrase has been a normal part of my vocabulary. In fact, thinking back, the longest relationship I ever had in high school lasted three months and I can hardly call it a relationship because I was barely 16 years old. In fact just a couple of months after I broke up with him he started dating a really good friend of mine and they have been together ever since. Today he and my friend are married and have a child together. What a blessing that it didn’t work out because they are the perfect couple. God had it planned.

College wasn’t any better. For four and a half years I devoted my life to education, basketball, business and work. The last thing I cared about prioritizing into that schedule was a man. Once I graduated I realized how lonely life had been due to the poor relationships I had with people and many years of isolation; that loneliness led to a period of desperation where I just wanted to meet someone. A good friend of mine from college was in a similar boat so we willingly agreed to try online dating together. Both of us were too prideful to admit to our friends and family we were doing it and our lack of success in the process proved to be accurate as we both failed miserably… but, formed a library of funny stories in the process.

About a year after that experiment I took it upon myself to give it another try. This time though I had been starting my spiritual journey and I could see more clearly the type of man I was looking for. Another friend had referred me to a Christian dating website that she had found success in and it had led me to my first official adult relationship at the age of 24 (nearly 8 years later). The person I met had every quality I had been looking for but I realized 9 months into it that we had no chemistry so… we broke up. Six months later he met the woman of his dreams and he too is now married with two children. God had that one planned too.

SingleEver since then I have been single. In fact when people say they have been single their entire life, I hesitate to believe them unless they have a track record as slim as mine (less than 12 months of relationship experience in 28 years). I am still not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed of that. For as long as I can remember I have questioned what was wrong with me as I patiently sit on the side lines lovingly watching my friends walk down the aisle and bring children into this world with tears of joy streaming down my face but tears of sadness filling my heart as I question whether it will ever happen for me. I jokingly embrace my single-ness to other people but deep down I long to meet that special someone. I confidently express my patience to the public as I wait on God’s timing but deep down I continue to question if God really does have someone for me.

Psalms 145:16 says, “You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.”

I read this verse as if it says, if you desire to be married, if in your deepest of hearts you desire a mate, then God will satisfy that desire. It wasn’t until I started to grow closer in my relationship with God that my patience grew stronger. Granted, it is easy to lose that grip when the temptation and pressure to be in a committed relationship gains weight and you start to lose your patience. But, my single friends, you are worth more than a casual non-committed relationship. Don’t lose your grip. You are valuable, you are precious. You deserve commitment and stability and God promises that. It’s funny because I often tell my friends that when I find ‘the one’ he better be ready. I don’t have time to waste in the normal two years of dating and another two year engagement. Ha, but then I am reminded of how naive that statement is. It isn’t my timing, it’s God’s timing. (Oh, and I suppose he has to know to).

What I have learned is that when we pursue a relationship for the wrong reasons we ultimately fall into relationships that are drenched in drama. God does not want us to ‘settle’ for something less. It is finding that place of peaceful existence with the person God has prepared for us. I want to be in a relationship that doesn’t compete with my relationship with God. I know it exists. We can have both. We don’t have to choose one or the other. We just have to have peace in knowing that it’s out there for us.

The purpose of this article is to encourage other single men and women to be patient and find peace in being single. I promise that the plan God has for you is worth waiting for.

Love, Kristen

In the meantime, God promises this: