Tag Archives: Jill Guzzardo

How LIFE Leadership Saved My Life

30 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by in Community and Leadership, Friendship, Inspirational, Legacy, LIFE Founders, LIFE Leadership, Relationships

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Sometimes a personal testimony is the most powerful form of belief we can offer people. I have been thinking about this topic for quite some time in anticipation to share how incredibly valuable my involvement with LIFE leadership has been over the years. I often get asked by critics that have known me a while why I am still involved with this company; somehow they still seem to think that this is just a business to me. I pray that this post clears up any confusion for those people.

Anyone who has been involved for any length of time (whether it was during company changes and transitions or the launch in 2011) would probably agree that it’s rather challenging to put into words the impact this organization can have on your life over time. In fact, it’s been such a challenge to formulate this piece of writing because the real blessings are so intangible and hard to express in written form.

I wanted to stay away from any sort of financial discussion because one of the misconceptions critics believe is that because LIFE leadership is a business, “money must be all they care about.” That couldn’t be further from the truth. While it is a very lucrative, successful company with hundreds and even thousands of members experiencing incredible financial success due to their influence in the lives of others, making money is certainly not the companies purpose. But, for those members who treat it and build it as a business they will achieve business results. But I digress. All you have to do is read Orrin Woodward’s highly popular blog or best-selling leadership books like The Leadership Train to understand the incredible business formula and system for LIFE leadership.

The idea behind this article was not to talk about a business but to talk about a purpose. I believe the purpose of LIFE Leadership was organically developed years ago when a group of men and women bonded their convictions through years of struggle trying to create a better life for themselves in less-fulfilling projects, eventually realizing that the real meaning of their struggle came from serving others and helping people grow.

Orrin recently tweeted, “A great life is the reward received when you give your life in service to others.”  Now that sounds like a worthy cause and purpose! But even still, I have to wonder if Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady planned to create a company 20 years ago that might otherwise save people’s lives in the future? It’s not like we have the cure for cancer here – our products are books, CD’s, meetings and people! How could that type of commodity actually save lives? And yet, it has.

Let me explain:

LIFE Leadership is built on a foundation of four important categories of development. Without these four components, a member will not experience the full value that someone like myself and many others have been able to experience over the years. Even the absence of one of these components can be detrimental to ones personal journey. Actually, because these are so important I thought that the most effective way to organize my writing would be to break down specifically through these categories how my involvement with LIFE Leadership has actually saved my life.

1) READ

LIFE booksBack in 2006 I picked up a book at a leadership convention titled The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I was young (about 20 years old), naive, a non-believer and very lost. No one had known at the time that I was struggling with an eating disorder, family challenges and other risky behaviors. I had always heard since day one of my involvement that reading was an important habit to develop if I ever wanted to be successful someday. I must admit, I was not a reader. In fact, it took me 2 years after getting involved to read a book from start to finish. This happened to be that book. The title of it caught my attention because at the time I had no sense of purpose. So what better way to discover something that was absent in my life than to gain wisdom from an author who may be able to help me. It did help me. In fact, I didn’t realize at the time that the first book I would ever read on my personal development journey would someday lead to my salvation in Jesus Christ.

Over the years I have read hundreds of books across multiple categories of personal and professional development genres. LIFE Leadership prides itself on delivering some of the best published content in the market so that people like myself can foster the necessary skills to develop internally so we can help other people externally. I could probably write a book just on the impact habitual reading has had on my life. It is one of the most powerful but under-utilized tools to success. In fact, it is so powerful that the information in books can actually save your life. I know it did for me.

2) Listen

CDs

Having always struggled with self-worth and control issues, I realized that the thoughts I constructed in my own mind were the most lethal form of self-destruction on my personal success journey. I knew that I would never become successful in anything if it was left up to my own thinking. I needed to change my thought process dramatically (not with the use of medication therapy, but through CD therapy). I became an audio-aholic listening to several CD’s a day just to keep myself out of my own head. Over the years that habit has created a hunger in me to want to share this information with everyone I meet. When people see stacks of audios in my front and back seats and in bins scattered everywhere throughout my car I am no longer embarrassed but proud of these resources. It is because of listening to these audios that I am still here today. In fact, my own bad thinking almost cost me my life; and listening was a direct path to saving it.

3) Associate

associateWhen I first got involved with the community building industry that has now become LIFE leadership, I completely fell in love with the people. There is just something different about hanging around with people who have a passion to grow personally and who want to make a difference. As hard as it is to believe, there are a lot of people in the world who don’t care about these things. I learned very early that who I hung around with would directly reflect the results I would have someday. I have always wanted to become like the people I respect so I have made it a priority in my life to surround myself with people like that. Even today, the association is my favorite part of all four of these components. Why? Because it’s about relationships. It’s about bonding. It’s about developing lifelong friendships. It’s about community.

Throughout this (already) two-year brain tumor battle if I didn’t have the LIFE leadership community I know for certain I would not be here today. Even through the most painful and challenging days I have looked forward to my Tuesday night meetings, monthly LIFE live seminars and quarterly leadership conventions. I believe having hope is about having something to look forward to even amidst the most difficult days of our lives. Not only do I have eternal hope in a life with Jesus someday but I have hope here on earth every time I get to associate with this incredible community of people. I always have something to look forward to. The relationships I have been able to foster among this organization has led me down paths medically I would have never had the opportunity to navigate. For those reasons alone, LIFE leadership has saved my life. However, all medical aside, the association has also allowed me to discover a purpose that I never knew existed – offering people hope (in a Savior) while pursuing real lasting friendships with other believers as we all journey toward Heaven together someday. To think, this crazy community and association of leaders is influencing people for Jesus – and saving lives for eternity!

4) Mentor

The final component and I could argue the most important! Since I was a freshman in high school (15 yrs old) I have been blessed to have a mentor – someone who has been able to guide me not only in basketball (at the time) but also in life. His name is Dave Chatmon and he is the direct reason I am involved with LIFE leadership today. He somehow convinced a very stubborn, shy but competitive girl to get involved in this industry at 18 years old that I would have never joined in a million years if it wasn’t for the trust I had in him. Today, I get to call him a business partner, a mentor and a friend.

baptismThe wonderful mentors I have been fortunate enough to work with over the years in this company are a true blessing from God – specifically speaking in regards to Dave Chatmon, George and Jill Guzzardo and Orrin and Laurie Woodward. There is absolutely no way I would still be here today if it wasn’t for these men and women and their servant hearts. Mentors help behind the scenes in ways that friends are not even qualified to do – they take on some of the heaviest loads of pressure in our lives but offer love, support and constructive direction towards better decision making in all aspects of our life. If you have a mentor, never ever take them for granted. Your mentors are some of the most selfless, loving and wise people you will ever meet. These mentors that I have mentioned above have directly, in their own specific way, saved my life and I am forever grateful for them every day of my life.

So there you have it. LIFE leadership may not the cure for cancer but it certainly is the cure for hopelessness. This is not just a business to me, this is my purpose – to lead people to truth and hope. It’s why I still do it. It’s why I will never quit until God calls me Home! It’s saved my life a countless number of times and I pray that it saves millions of lives (for Jesus) as we continue to share the message of leadership and truth across the world.

How has LIFE leadership affected your life? Feel free to share in the comments section below.

“It’s not just a business with a purpose, it’s a purpose… with a business.” Orrin Woodward

God Bless,

Kristen

 

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The Best Advice I Have Ever Received

25 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by in Friendship, Inspirational, LIFE Founders, LIFE Leadership, Relationships

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A few years ago I was having a conversation with a man who had sparkling silver hair and ‘stress’ marks (aka wrinkles) from the thousands of people he’s served throughout his life. His profession was Teacher and Coach but his expertise was in sharing the truth (in love). There are certain people you meet who cross the boundaries of co-worker or acquaintance and start to influence you in ways that only great friends and mentors do. While I only knew him for a short time via employment, he gave me some of the best advice I have ever received.

At the time I had been dating a person who I really enjoyed spending time with, however, this person was missing some of the qualities that were really important to me in a relationship – it must have just been a physical attraction because I couldn’t put my finger on what was missing. My wiser and older friend Mike (who, at the time, had been married over 40 years) frequently tended to ask me personal questions – so he knew me quite well; I believe he found satisfaction in counseling younger people who were naïve and inexperienced in life. I was 24 years old at the time, so I qualified. In any normal circumstance I would hesitate to elaborate on anything personal unless there was a foundation of trust in the relationship. But, Mike was different. He had earned my trust.

I had expressed to him the challenges I was experiencing in connection with the man I was hoping to pursue a relationship with. In my communication with Mike he asked me three very specific questions (as if this wasn’t his first conversation counseling someone on relationships):

1) Does this person challenge you in a way that makes you want to be better?

2) Is he passionate about something important?

3) Does he love God?

He said (paraphrased), “Imagine I am standing on top of this desk looking down on you who are standing on the floor. I want you to get to ‘my level’ but I can’t physically make you unless you have a desire to stand on the desk with me. It is nearly impossible to raise someone up to your level (i.e. change them, force them to grow or be where YOU want them to be). You can influence them by your actions but you can’t force them to change. In fact, what usually happens is the person standing on the floor, by default, will often lower you down to their level, causing you to go backward instead of forward. Negative influence is just as powerful as positive influence. People can always rise to a new level, if they choose to, but you can’t make them rise. If these qualities are important to you and these are the exact qualities missing in his life, then you may find yourself fighting a battle that you will never win.”

This made so much sense to me because the key missing ingredients that created a disconnect in any potential future with this person were the very things that Mike was explaining. Understanding that the things that are important to me (personally) are a good indicator of the qualities that attract me to others. I have always known that association matters, but this visual changed everything. In fact, since that conversation I have not only been able to define what I am looking for in a future spouse but in every relationship I have with people; realizing that Mike offered me some of the best advice I have ever received.

friends

This example is very true of all our association – not just in searching for a spouse. Of course none of us are perfect. I am not searching for the perfect man, just a man who makes me want to be better by his example, has a passion for similar interests of importance and loves the Lord. But the point being that it is critical to surround yourself with people who also display all the qualities that are important to you. For me, it is people who have a hunger to grow with a passion and a purpose. LIFE Founder Orrin Woodward is often heard quoting, “You become who you associate with.” Whether that is a potential spouse, a friend, a family member, a co-worker, a business partner, etc. The worst thing that can happen is that you ‘get off the desk’ and stop growing and developing in the important things because of your association with a negative influence. That is why I love my association with LIFE Leadership. I am challenged to grow daily, I am surrounded by winners who are humble and hungry and I am mentored by men and women who love the Lord and are passionate about things that matter. I make it a priority to surround myself with people who have these qualities or are seeking to have these qualities because my priorities all fall under the umbrella of these three exact questions. I pray that you have a clear idea of the qualities that are important to you and that you never settle for less in your relationships than what you expect of yourself.

God Bless,

Kristen

Imperfect People: Part 1 – Confronting Critical Crossroads

16 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by in Faith, Friendship, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership, Relationships

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“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” Matthew 7:13-14

Every day we are presented with hundreds of choices that we must make, many of them seemingly unimportant but all of them unique to us; our attitude, appearance, lifestyle, food choices, career, scheduling, priorities, conversations, entertainment, living situation, relationships, financial decisions, etc. And we all eventually reach a point where we’re standing at a crossroads and have to make a decision on which path to take. I believe we are awakened by our own imperfections at these crossroads. It is when we feel the most vulnerable, uncertain, confused and afraid. We want to make the right decision but suddenly we are faced with the dreadful, uncontrollable feeling of fear: The unknown. What others may think. Making the wrong decision.

We are all imperfect beings with imperfect answers, acting on imperfect information for causes with imperfect results. We are bruised by our past, the stress of living in an imperfect world, our hearts heavy with constant disappointment; we feel small and insecure, often questioning the direction of our path and the intent of our actions, even as our hearts are enlarged by the humanity of our mission.

crossroad

For many, it is in these critical crossroads circumstances when we experience overwhelming pressure. Sometimes there are multiple paths that make decisions even more challenging. Sometimes we are paralyzed by fear so we sit down at the center of the crossroads and do nothing. We want God to do it for us… we want Him to audibly tell us what to do – ‘give us a sign’ or ‘confirmation’ and when He doesn’t we get frustrated and give up. It is also at these crossroads when we are tempted by sin; when our discernment and judgment is most crucial. Sometimes we are deceived by our own ignorance and if we aren’t careful we may find ourselves strolling aimlessly down a path that we didn’t intend on traveling.

I felt convicted in writing this because of the many times I have stood at these crossroads wanting to take the ‘easier’ road, but knowing it may not be the best road – but choosing to have more faith in myself than in God because it appeared safer than the alternative. In fact, my most cowardly decisions were always made when I listened to my own advice. The fact is, He doesn’t want us to travel these streets alone.

I believe God uses people to help us face these crossroads; to prevent us from constantly listening to ourselves and taking the ‘easy path’ – which is rarely the correct path. He knows our imperfections better than we do and He knows we can’t do it on our own so He provides mentors as friends and advisors to see things that we don’t see; to offer experience that we don’t have.

The word mentor means: An experienced and trusted advisor.

Jesus Christ is the perfect model of mentorship and He provides wisdom to His followers (you and I) in the form of scripture, prayer and experience so that we may be able to choose the right path…and not just the easier one – which our imperfect selves are so inclined to do. LIFE Leadership founder Orrin Woodward recently tweeted, “A mentor’s role is to help people discover where they are ignorant of their own ignorance.”

Keep in mind, our mentors are not perfect either. They are fallen sinners just like us. But, the right mentors who have the results, wisdom and experience to advise can offer the right perspective which can lead us down the right path. A mentor is often the very thing we need in order to make the right decisions. So now when confronting critical crossroads, instead of taking my own advice, even when it seems easier, I choose to seek a mentor who can offer guidance throughout the journey. These are some of the questions I must ask myself:

1) Do I have enough humility to recognize and admit when I need a mentor?

2) Am I prepared to listen and apply the advice my mentor suggests?

2) Am I willing to accept responsibility for the decisions and the path that I take, regardless of the outcome or advice I receive?

Sometimes the path still isn’t clear, and that’s okay… it doesn’t always mean that it’s the wrong path. It may just be possible that God is using our ‘crossroad’ circumstance to strengthen our faith. He may just want us to choose a path and put our trust in Him along the journey.

Thankfully, no matter what crossroad we are confronted with, we always have hope in the destination because of a perfect Savior who died on the cross for our imperfections. So when our path appears to be blocked, unclear, confusing or unending we can be reminded of the perfect path Christ has for those who choose to follow Him.

“Stand at the crossroads and look, ask where the good way is and walk in it and you will find rest for your souls.” Jeremiah 6:16

Love, Kristen

 

 

Community and Influence: It’s Not About the Pebble

14 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by in Community and Leadership, Faith, Friendship, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership, Love, Relationships

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“Every life comes with an expiration date” said the acquaintance in line as I waited close to 3.5 hours to say my goodbye’s to a good friend who tragically lost her life in a boating accident. “This certainly isn’t an ideal situation” he said as the awkward conversations continued to magnify in this extended visitation. Ha – ideal…death is never ideal!

I spent a lot of time thinking about Megan’s dash in those hours as I looked at her remembrance card that read 1986-2014. I thought about the memories I not only had with her but with all of my loved ones, friends and family who had reached their expiration date. It’s hard not to imagine your own dash in those moments. Will I leave the type of legacy or impact that they left? How will I be remembered? It’s not a coincidence that many of my articles are purpose centered or ‘difference’ driven. Life really is short. It’s not just a cliché. Knowing this, shouldn’t our life mean something?

I reflected on all the times I may have stood in line at the supermarket thumbing through my social networking sites on my Smartphone when just inches away there was an elderly woman just looking for a little social interaction…and I missed it…knowing full well that she was probably closer to her expiration date than I. I thought about the comments my dear grandmother would make as too often my cell phone seemed to take precedence over our relationship when all she was hoping for was an uninterrupted conversation with her grand-daughter; and those missed opportunities are now gone because she is gone. The choices we so often make without realizing the effect or the regret we may later experience because of those decisions. Sometimes God shows Himself during the most in-opportune times and we either seize the opportunity or we miss it.

I have reflected on those moments more often in the last 6 months than I ever have in my life. The average person is not thinking about their dash; they are not thinking about how their decisions will affect their relationships with people; they are not thinking about their expiration date.

The anxiety (or urgency) I generally experience on a daily basis has disciplined my awareness to the people and situations I am in and with so much un-anticipated grief around me I can’t help but slow down and reflect on what is truly important. I spent some time last night looking out over the waters of a beautiful landscape thinking about my friend’s whose lives had just expired realizing that my life could end in an instant just like theirs; understanding that I too am faced with an expiration date.

While sitting in my silence, I reached down towards the pebbles below and tossed one into the calm waters that reflected the bright setting sun. The ripple practically stretched for miles as I discovered the metaphor that God was revealing to me in that instant. It didn’t take long for me to understand the parallel that even just one pebble could stretch further than I ever thought possible – if thrown into a large body of water.

Imagine this with me if you will:

ripple effect 2Pebbles are small acts of kindness we do for others and the body of water is our community. If we have a small body of water wouldn’t it make sense that even multiple pebbles thrown into a small body of water would only extend as far as the body of water that it’s thrown into? Everyone will leave a ripple effect. But the difference in the ripple will be determined by the number of people you’ve influenced…NOT just the number of pebbles that you toss into the water. Which, metaphorically speaking, it doesn’t matter how much influence you have in one person’s life or how many small acts of kindness you make in a small community, if our ripple only extends to as far as our body of water reaches then it’s only logical that our impact eventually stops once that ripple reaches the shoreline.

Knowing this, I would rather focus on the size of the body of water rather than the number of pebbles thrown. Most people have no problem helping their friends and family or the people they already know, tossing more and more pebbles into that same small community. But wouldn’t it make sense that if we want to increase our influence and impact more people’s lives, we have to look outside of our current circle of friends and family?

ripple effect 1The next question may be, how do we gain such influence? That’s simple – servant leadership. The people who have made the biggest difference in my life were complete strangers to me before they decided to extend their body of water, increase their leadership and serve others. They are men and women who looked outward from their own circle because they knew that it wasn’t about the size of the pebble or the number or pebbles, they knew it was about the size of the body of water and ‘the people’ they were led to serve. Men and women like Orrin and Laurie Woodward who choose to extend their body of water and serve on a daily basis, not because they expect something in return, but because they care about people and the purpose God has for them in helping people.

What I love so much about the LIFE Leadership community is that it’s a platform to extend our body of water and our influence so far and so wide that our ripple effect could essentially echo into eternity. I have been blessed to meet and befriend so many people that were complete strangers to me prior to being associated with the LIFE community; and conversely people have befriended, helped and influenced me in more ways than I can even describe. And in all of our interactions we have been granted a mission to pay it forward affecting another person’s life and potentially, their legacy.

When Jackie Lewis reached the finish line, 100’s of thousands of people across the nation were affected by her life and her message and she continues to change and impact people’s lives today. Because of her love of people and her servant heart, Jackie’s ripple and her legacy will continue to extend for generations and I am certain she is reaping a boundless reward in Heaven today.

But certainly the best example of influence is Jesus. We have a model of servant leadership in Jesus Christ that has directly impacted and changed lives for thousands of years and His ripple continues to span across the globe. It is because of Him, that we have any influence or ripple at all. His influence is eternal and it’s the type legacy we should all live our lives striving for.

Life is short. As my mentor Jill Guzzardo says, “We don’t have a 1,000 years to do this…”

Live your life so that when you die you continue to live through all the lives you’ve changed.

Love,

Kristen

 

 

 

 

 

‘Potential’ Regrets

26 Monday May 2014

Posted by in Faith, Inspirational, Legacy, LIFE Leadership, Love

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For several weeks, since the weather has actually started to feel like Spring, I have utilized every opportunity to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. My new routine has been a 6am early morning walk through the streets of Waukesha where I listen to worship music, drink coffee, think, pray and ponder. It’s taken me about two weeks to map my route as I get bored with the same scenery every day. So each day I choose to start in a different direction to add some variety to my morning.

In sticking with my routine this morning, even on the weekends, I decided to go a little bit further and walk a little bit longer than usual. I spontaneously started in a westward direction, coffee in hand, breathing in the purity of a new day. Pacing at a fairly slow and relaxed speed, I took in my surroundings and enjoyed the splendor of a beautiful daybreak. These early morning walks have been a great therapeutic addition to the chaos of life; reminding me of how beautiful life is and how much I appreciate being alive. These walks have allowed me to think more deeply about my purpose and also pray more faithfully to the God who created me.

cemetery

However, this morning’s walk was much different than the rest. I was familiar with the streets and I was familiar with the area but I was not familiar with my surroundings. As I paced leisurely around this large open land I couldn’t help but notice that I was circling around a cemetery. I had driven these streets daily; I had even walked and ran these sidewalks several times before. But today was the first day I recognized the significance of my location. I abruptly halted my leisure pace, turned the volume all the way down on my music and sat on the edge of where the grass meets the pavement of a fully populated graveyard…the sun was just rising and there was hardly a civilian or car in sight.

In any other situation I would have sped up my stride in order to get away from the area; cemeteries have always creeped me out. Probably because I watched too many horror flicks growing up. But this time I was convicted to stop. And not only stop, but sit down. I gleaned at a distance to some of the plots where real people’s bodies lay at rest. I couldn’t help but think of my own loved ones whose bodies lay still underground in a similar plot just in a different location. It reminded me of how precious life really is and how much the sunrise meant to me today, because for the souls I was sitting amongst, they couldn’t see it. And someday, I wouldn’t be able to either.

I could not muster the courage to walk through the grounds but what I could see within close proximity of where I was sitting were the names of people…and underneath the names were their birth dates and death dates, separated by a dash. A while back, Chris Brady produced an incredible LIFE leadership audio titled “The Dash” and this talk has always remained etched in my mind. However, it wasn’t until this morning, that my dash first became real to me as I sat in the silence of that land.

I had a conversation with a friend just yesterday who I was introducing LIFE leadership to and ironically our conversation consisted of the very topic I am writing about today. God’s timing is so amazing.

Her paraphrased words were, “once the initial sting of my death wears off (to my loved ones), I wonder who will actually miss me or remember me? Will I have made enough of a difference for people to continue talking about me after I am gone…?”

Such a powerful question that I believe very few people ever ask themselves. And I am proud of her for asking it. Are we afraid to ask ourselves that question because we don’t want to accept the fact that someday we are going to die? Are we afraid to ask ourselves because we don’t want the responsibility and pressure of doing something important or significant with our lives? That was definitely me. For a long time I naively believed that my dash would last forever…as long as I didn’t think about it. And if I didn’t think about it then it didn’t matter if I accomplished anything important each day. I was successfully getting myself one step closer to death safely.

As I sat there this morning, looking at a field of hundreds of stones, I thought about all the people who had the potential to do something great with their lives but may have never had the courage to ask that question. Names forgotten…people forgotten. They went to the grave with ‘potential’ regrets; their lives ended and so did their legacy. Sadly, buried beneath the soils around the world and even blocks from our homes are people who never accomplished their dreams because they never had the audacity to pursue them: songs that were never sung, books that were never written, words that were never spoken, lives that were never touched, inventions that were never designed, plans that were never acted on, ideas that were never shared, stories that were never told and purposes that were never fulfilled – people who naively believed their dash would last forever. People who had the potential to leave a powerful and lasting legacy, but ran out of time. I know this is not very encouraging but I sure hope it is motivating.

Change

I reflect back on certain seasons of my life where I didn’t have goals, I didn’t have a purpose and I didn’t have a dream or a cause I was chasing after…they were very depressing, insignificant, boring and unfulfilling times of my life. I just imagine if my dash ended in the midst of my complacency – how would I have been remembered then?…scary thought. I thank God that those seasons didn’t consume me for several years but that He was patient with me in my temporary darkness. Sadly, for many Americans, this type of lifestyle is ‘normal’ and ‘common’ and often people don’t even realize the insignificance of their life because they are being deceived into thinking that it’s all okay; and they live this way for years…sometimes their entire life. But, it’s not okay. And it doesn’t have to be that way.

I feel a major sense of urgency as I write this…not just for myself but for everyone I come in contact with. None of us will ever escape death. As Terri Brady said on a recent audio, “there is a too late…” And as George Guzzardo says, “there is a finish line we will all eventually cross.”

The question is, will your life be buried and forgotten with ‘potential’ regrets or remembered and talked about because you lived your life well and made a difference?

Blessings,

Kristen

Kindness Boomerang

17 Tuesday Sep 2013

Posted by in Community and Leadership, Friendship, Inspirational, Legacy, Love

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“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35

kindnessA few months ago I was driving through my hometown and decided to swing by my mom’s house to drop off a few groceries she needed me to pick up for her while she was at work. I wasn’t there for more than five minutes when the doorbell rang. I normally wouldn’t have answered the door but because I was only going to be there a couple minutes I decided to leave the front door open revealing evidence that someone was there. So I proceeded to answer and met a young high school graduate who was going door to door selling magazine subscriptions. Normally, my natural response would have been that I am not interested (no questions asked), especially provided that it wasn’t even my house. But instead, I responded with some questions.

She proceeded to tell me that she was selling these subscriptions to raise money for a mission trip she was planning to go on. I asked her how her sales were going and she said, ‘Not very well. Most people are either not home or not answering their door.’ I understood completely how she may have been feeling and yet, her energy was contagious, her attitude positive and her passion exuding through her beautiful smile. So I decided to invite her inside and ask her a few more questions. Deep down I was telling myself, I have no desire to invest in a magazine subscription. I hadn’t bought a magazine in over 10 years. But, I knew I wanted to help her out. I asked her how much the subscriptions were and if I could just make a one time donation in the amount of the subscription to go towards her trip (without the magazines). She said yes but then told me if I ‘donate’ my subscription she gets more credit towards her trip. Then I asked her who I could donate the subscription to and she said anyone… or, I could donate to the Children’s Hospital and that gives her the most credit towards her trip. Obviously a no-brainer for me, that’s exactly what I wanted to do. She told me what the most popular children’s magazine subscription was and I wrote her the check. This young teenager had such a great spirit about her and it felt great to help her out.

Please don’t take this the wrong way though, this wasn’t about me at all. I just happened to be exactly where God needed me to be to help this young lady out; this was all about Brittany. I was so impressed with her courage, her passion, her love for people, her attitude, her commitment and her perseverance – she was raising money to go out and serve people. If that isn’t an act of kindness and doing God’s work, I don’t know what else is.

Kindness doesn’t involve much; it just requires a loving heart. Many people think that it takes money to ‘do good’ for others. While money does help, it isn’t a requirement. Offering a listening ear to a lonely person, sharing a smile as someone passes by, offering to give someone a ride home who doesn’t have transportation or displaying a positive attitude in a stressful situation are all simple ways we can show kindness on a daily basis. Displaying a service before self disposition is one of the noblest ways to live and will surely create a ripple effect you never thought possible.

I learned this principle by observing the actions of men and women like Orrin and Laurie Woodward and George and Jill Guzzardo and spending time around the LIFE leadership community. In fact, I don’t know of any other organization on the planet that shows more kindness or a service before self attitude. That being said, let’s create a kindness revolution and live to serve others just as God lives to serve us.

“As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good.” 2 Thessalonians 3:13

Love,

Kristen

Inner Beauty = True Beauty

28 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by in Faith, Friendship, Inspirational, Relationships

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“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is. His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

You may have heard it said that one of the differences between a man and a woman is that when a man looks at himself in the mirror he admires the one physical feature about himself that’s attractive while a woman only sees the features she considers unattractive. Whether this is true or not can’t be verified but for women especially our eyes always see the imperfections. The statistics are alarming when we see that in an average year American woman spend a half billion dollars on shape-enhancing garments. Women from every culture are turning to extreme measures to change or enhance their physical features with the top five being liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgery, facelift and tummy tuck – and there seems to be no end in sight.

distorted imageThis obsession dates several hundreds of years back where women would use a potentially deadly combination of vinegar in search of porcelain skin, drops of antimony sulfide to make their eyes glitter (leading to blindness) and tight lace corsets (cutting off oxygen and displacing organs) in order to achieve an eighteen inch waist. Today, the media glamorizes ‘true beauty’ by promoting to women that perfect shape, weight, height, hair and skin will lead to true happiness – you know the false promises that the prettiest women get the best jobs, the most attractive men and are the most successful. My good friend and LIFE leading lady Terri Brady posted a blog titled, ‘The Stranger’s Sketch’ which I believe is a perfect example of how critical we are of our ourselves compared to how others really see us.

In an earlier post I shared my journey of battling an eating disorder – which unfortunately (today) is another very common and unhealthy method of ‘trying’ to reach physical perfection. When I taught in a high school it seemed that the girls cared more about how they looked than their dignity, their character or their work ethic. Since chopping my hair off (and losing some of it) I can’t count how many times I have been mistaken for a guy. The battle is never ending if our eyes are fixed on our outward appearance. I’m sure every one of us remembers a time when we compared, judged or idolized someone else with what seemed to be ‘better’ physical beauty than us. It’s hard to escape the sinful nature of our hearts; focusing on outward appearance rather than inward beauty and acting on cultural standards rather than biblical standards.

But here is a woman who I believe displays the best ‘true beauty’ of anyone. Her story has gone viral but not so much for being labeled ‘the ugliest woman on the internet,’ but because she has inspired millions of people to focus on their inner beauty and not their outward appearance (worth watching in its entirety):

So what is God’s definition of beauty? Nowhere in the bible are women instructed to wish for, ask for or strive for physical beauty. However, there is a kind of beauty that we are to pursue, see 1 Peter 3:4-5. In the LIFE AGO book, Becoming God’s True Woman, DeMoss shares stark comparisons between our culture’s definition of beauty and God’s definition of beauty:

  • Our culture puts forth a standard of beauty that is unattainable by most. God puts forth a standard of beauty to which we can all attain if we just respond to His work of grace in our lives.
  • Our culture defines beauty by how we look on the outside. God defines beauty by what we are like on the inside.
  • Our culture encourages women to cultivate a beauty that is skin deep. God tells us to pursue an inner beauty of great worth.
  • Our culture encourages women to cultivate a beauty that will only last for a brief time. God encourages women to cultivate a beauty that will never fade and that will only grow more attractive with the passing of time.
  • Our culture calls us to cultivate a beauty that impresses others. God summons us to cultivate a beauty that is first and foremost for His eyes.
  • Our culture entices us to aspire to the beauty of the latest glamourous model or most popular actress. God bids us to aspire to the beauty of the holy women in the past who put their hope in God.

Becoming God's True womanDeMoss goes on to say, “when a physically attractive woman walks by we notice – men particularly. But that’s the end of it. Her beauty makes a fleeting, momentary impression. But a woman who cultivates inner beauty, who fears God and lives to serve others, makes a difference in people’s lives. Her beauty makes a lasting impact on the lives she touches. Godly, inner beauty makes an indeliable mark on the lives of others and glorifies God.”

It is true that a woman’s physical appearance is enhanced by her inner beauty. But this does not mean that we neglect our outward appearance just because we are beautiful on the inside. Pure devotion to God will produce an appropriate concern for physical appearance and in turn our outward appearance should always attract others to our inner beauty and our character.  

Laurie Woodward, Jill Guzzardo and all of the LIFE leading ladies are true models of inner beauty. They are all beautiful on the outside but their true beauty radiates from the inside. Robert Murray McCheyne said it best, “we should take 10 looks at Christ for every look at ourselves” and I believe these amazing women do that. Every time we are tempted to be discouraged by our own lack of perfection, we must look to our Savior, whose perfection has been credited to us. We are all made perfect in His image and to set our hearts and minds on the things above will allow us to accept that our inner beauty is where true beauty rests.

God Bless,

Kristen

Your Life is Your Legacy

15 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by in Faith, Friendship, Inspirational, Legacy, LIFE Leadership

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Recently I have been reviewing Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady’s best selling book, Launching a Leadership Revolution. This was the first leadership book I ever received and read and I have re-read and studied this book more times than I can even count. I absolutely love it and it’s a favorite of mine. My most recent talk for the-life-business was at an open meeting where we reviewed the three levels of motivation found in Woodward and Brady’s book.

When you begin to study motivation, it really does motivate you! I spent some time talking with a woman who was 82 years old the other day. She was in an assisted living facility where, because of some health issues, she couldn’t take care of herself on her own anymore. Her husband had already passed away and she only had one son who never married and moved away about 13 years ago. I could tell there was an emptiness inside her as her only son calls about once a month and has only visited once since she first moved in over a year ago. I began to ask some questions about her life and some of the memories she had from when she was younger. But the responses I got were completely not what I expected. I knew this was a divine appointment.

Looking back on her life, she shared some regrets. Her first regret was not having more children. In her generation, it was not uncommon for families to be 5-10 children deep. She had mentioned that in her earlier days, prior to being married, she experienced sexual abuse which scared her to the point that she never wanted to get married or have children. She said that if it wasn’t for the stigma and pressure for women to be married back then, she might have been alone her entire life. She carried that fear with her and was never able to resolve it even after having a child. She said her second regret was not having a better relationship with her son. She knew that he was her priority but because she couldn’t erase the memories from her past, she just ‘did what she had to do’ to raise her son but that was it. As he grew up, he became more and more distant to the point where he moved out at 16 years old. Her son is now in his early 50’s and he too never got married or had children. Her last regret was that she feels like she wasted most of her life by living in the past. She told me that as a child, she wanted to be an actress and travel all over the world. She loved being in the spotlight and making people happy and said she was a very lovable young lady. After the abuse, she couldn’t imagine being in the spotlight. She gave up on all her dreams and isolated herself from the world for years. After she married, she said her relationship with her husband was cold and distant and she said if it wasn’t for her commitment to God at the alter, she would have never stayed with him. “We were basically roommates” She said.

Today, looking back she wishes she would have pursued her dream of acting. She wishes she had a better relationship with her husband and son and she wishes she could go back in time and start over and live a more purposeful life. Now she lives with the pain of regret. Upon learning all this, I feared asking her about legacy because I didn’t want to hurt or offend her, but ended up asking anyways since she seemed to be very comfortable around me. I proceeded with, “Now I know I am young but I think about this all the time. I think about my actions today as a reflection of my legacy later. I don’t know how long I will be here so I want to make sure my actions count now. Have you thought about your legacy and what type of legacy you would like to leave behind?” I may be a bit naive but again her response surprised me. She told me that practically her entire life she didn’t even think about the end of her life.  She focused so much on things in the moment that the future rarely entered her subconscious. She knew that if she thought about the future, it would guilt her into changing and pursuing something bigger. She felt safe in her mediocre lifestyle and was afraid of letting go of her past. She was trapped in her own thoughts and found peace there. But now looking back she says she thinks about legacy all the time. Although now she feels it’s too late. I tried to encourage her and offer some suggestions so that she could find peace with her regrets and still leave a positive legacy. I also asked if I could share her story with others to give hope to those struggling with an addiction, abuse, trauma, divorce, neglect or any other crisis so they could hopefully overcome those struggles and still be able to live a life of significance and not look back on their life with regrets. She was so delighted by that and I could just feel the weight of regret being lifted off her shoulders. I told her I would help her leave a legacy that will impact so many lives through her story. I will also continue to visit her and help her relive the positive memories from her past and share comments from people who have been impacted by her story.

In the beginning I mentioned that I was going to discuss the three levels of motivation found in Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady’s book and now you may be wondering why I shared this long story of a woman you don’t even know. It’s because the deepest level of motivation (Level 3) is purpose, destiny and legacy. All motivation comes from within. You are responsible for discovering what motivates you. Level 1 – Material success and level 2 – recognition and respect are, in my perspective, short term and short lived. You will always have level 1 and level 2 ‘motivators’ but if after you think about those, you are still laying on the couch watching TV, then chances are you are not motivated by them. Eventually you will need to get in touch with the deepest level of motivation – purpose, destiny and legacy. It may not be a primary motivator right away and that is why it is level 3. My prayer is that you think about it, discover it and pursue it.

This lady (who will remain nameless until I ask her permission to use her full name), understands now more than ever that life is so short. And if we are going to do something that’s going to impact the world, we need to start now. As Jill Guzzardo says, “you don’t have a thousand years to do this.” George Guzzardo says, “In all of civilization, our history has only lasted just a dot.” We have a big job to do if we are to change the cycle of decline our country is facing right now. It is our responsibility and our legacy to leave for the next generation. What will you do with your life that will be remembered throughout history?

Please share/comment at the bottom of this post how this one woman’s story has impacted you. She will be overfilled with joy to know that it’s not too late for her to make an impact and leave a legacy. Your comments do matter!

Also, take a look at this fantastic talk Orrin Woodward shared on Legacy:

 

Blessings, Kristen