Tag Archives: the-life-business

Let Go of the Branch

03 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by in Faith, Inspirational

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“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

hanging from cliffOne day a man was walking along a cliff when he slipped and fell over the edge. As he plunged downwards he managed to grab the branch of a small tree that was growing from a crevice in the rock. Hanging there, swaying in the cold wind, he realized how helpless his position was. Far below were jagged boulders and there was no way to climb up. His grip on the branch was weakening every second. “Well,” he thought, “only God can save me now. I have never believed in God but I might be wrong. What have I to lose?” So he called out, “God, if you exist, save me, and I will believe in you.” There was no answer. He called again, “Please God, I never believed in you, but if you will save me now, I will believe in you!”

Suddenly a great voice boomed down from the clouds, “Oh no you won’t, I know your kind.”
The man was so surprised, he almost lost his grip on the branch. “Please God, you are wrong. I really mean it; I will believe.”
“Oh no you won’t. That’s what they all say.”
The man pleaded and argued. Finally God said, “Alright, I will save you. Let go of the branch.”
“Let go of the branch?” the man exclaimed. “Do you think I am crazy?”

Many people trust in God, as long as it is something they believe He can do. It’s funny that sometimes we find ourselves content to let God handle the ordinary things in life like giving us an opportunity to do well on a job interview or score well on a test. But, when it comes to the really hard things, the things that seem impossible, we have little faith that He can handle them. We are often tempted to trust our own means rather than give the problem to God. Being content to wait on the Lord for the impossible is something that most people just have a hard time doing.
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Why are we so reluctant to give God the impossible things? We know that He has done the impossible in the past. He created something from nothing. How much more impossible can you get? Even the simpler things like parting the waters of the Red Sea and sending manna and quail to His children in the desert. Yet, when it comes to our impossible, the things that have us so stymied that we are at a total loss for a solution, we often find ourselves thinking that we know God could do it, but it seems so far-fetched that it’s nearly impossible. So we fight it alone.

Perhaps it’s just because we feel we don’t want to bother God with the ‘impossible’ tasks or because we feel foolish asking. More likely, however, it’s because we have a schedule for things to happen and when they don’t happen in our timing we are disappointed and give up. We know that God has a solution and a plan for every struggle in life. The problem is we often find ourselves reluctant to match our schedules with His timetable.

Even when we have nothing to lose, we are still afraid to give it to God. Just as in the story above, the man heard God’s voice and still did not trust Him. God is in control of everything – even the impossible things. We just have to learn to let go of the branch.

“…All things are possible for one who believes.” Mark 9:23

God Bless,

Kristen

Inner Beauty = True Beauty

28 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by in Faith, Friendship, Inspirational, Relationships

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“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is. His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

You may have heard it said that one of the differences between a man and a woman is that when a man looks at himself in the mirror he admires the one physical feature about himself that’s attractive while a woman only sees the features she considers unattractive. Whether this is true or not can’t be verified but for women especially our eyes always see the imperfections. The statistics are alarming when we see that in an average year American woman spend a half billion dollars on shape-enhancing garments. Women from every culture are turning to extreme measures to change or enhance their physical features with the top five being liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgery, facelift and tummy tuck – and there seems to be no end in sight.

distorted imageThis obsession dates several hundreds of years back where women would use a potentially deadly combination of vinegar in search of porcelain skin, drops of antimony sulfide to make their eyes glitter (leading to blindness) and tight lace corsets (cutting off oxygen and displacing organs) in order to achieve an eighteen inch waist. Today, the media glamorizes ‘true beauty’ by promoting to women that perfect shape, weight, height, hair and skin will lead to true happiness – you know the false promises that the prettiest women get the best jobs, the most attractive men and are the most successful. My good friend and LIFE leading lady Terri Brady posted a blog titled, ‘The Stranger’s Sketch’ which I believe is a perfect example of how critical we are of our ourselves compared to how others really see us.

In an earlier post I shared my journey of battling an eating disorder – which unfortunately (today) is another very common and unhealthy method of ‘trying’ to reach physical perfection. When I taught in a high school it seemed that the girls cared more about how they looked than their dignity, their character or their work ethic. Since chopping my hair off (and losing some of it) I can’t count how many times I have been mistaken for a guy. The battle is never ending if our eyes are fixed on our outward appearance. I’m sure every one of us remembers a time when we compared, judged or idolized someone else with what seemed to be ‘better’ physical beauty than us. It’s hard to escape the sinful nature of our hearts; focusing on outward appearance rather than inward beauty and acting on cultural standards rather than biblical standards.

But here is a woman who I believe displays the best ‘true beauty’ of anyone. Her story has gone viral but not so much for being labeled ‘the ugliest woman on the internet,’ but because she has inspired millions of people to focus on their inner beauty and not their outward appearance (worth watching in its entirety):

So what is God’s definition of beauty? Nowhere in the bible are women instructed to wish for, ask for or strive for physical beauty. However, there is a kind of beauty that we are to pursue, see 1 Peter 3:4-5. In the LIFE AGO book, Becoming God’s True Woman, DeMoss shares stark comparisons between our culture’s definition of beauty and God’s definition of beauty:

  • Our culture puts forth a standard of beauty that is unattainable by most. God puts forth a standard of beauty to which we can all attain if we just respond to His work of grace in our lives.
  • Our culture defines beauty by how we look on the outside. God defines beauty by what we are like on the inside.
  • Our culture encourages women to cultivate a beauty that is skin deep. God tells us to pursue an inner beauty of great worth.
  • Our culture encourages women to cultivate a beauty that will only last for a brief time. God encourages women to cultivate a beauty that will never fade and that will only grow more attractive with the passing of time.
  • Our culture calls us to cultivate a beauty that impresses others. God summons us to cultivate a beauty that is first and foremost for His eyes.
  • Our culture entices us to aspire to the beauty of the latest glamourous model or most popular actress. God bids us to aspire to the beauty of the holy women in the past who put their hope in God.

Becoming God's True womanDeMoss goes on to say, “when a physically attractive woman walks by we notice – men particularly. But that’s the end of it. Her beauty makes a fleeting, momentary impression. But a woman who cultivates inner beauty, who fears God and lives to serve others, makes a difference in people’s lives. Her beauty makes a lasting impact on the lives she touches. Godly, inner beauty makes an indeliable mark on the lives of others and glorifies God.”

It is true that a woman’s physical appearance is enhanced by her inner beauty. But this does not mean that we neglect our outward appearance just because we are beautiful on the inside. Pure devotion to God will produce an appropriate concern for physical appearance and in turn our outward appearance should always attract others to our inner beauty and our character.  

Laurie Woodward, Jill Guzzardo and all of the LIFE leading ladies are true models of inner beauty. They are all beautiful on the outside but their true beauty radiates from the inside. Robert Murray McCheyne said it best, “we should take 10 looks at Christ for every look at ourselves” and I believe these amazing women do that. Every time we are tempted to be discouraged by our own lack of perfection, we must look to our Savior, whose perfection has been credited to us. We are all made perfect in His image and to set our hearts and minds on the things above will allow us to accept that our inner beauty is where true beauty rests.

God Bless,

Kristen

Don’t Foul Out!

17 Wednesday Jul 2013

Posted by in Community and Leadership, Friendship, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership

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“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2

Sports teach us so much about life. Because I was consumed by basketball for more than 18 years, it might be why I can find so many stories that relate to such broad topics. I always go through seasons of withdrawal as I remember how much I loved the game of basketball. I was reflecting on the days when I played summer AAU ball with my then coach Dave Chatmon and now LIFE mentor. Dave always made sure in the off-season of March to August that we received a lot of exposure in many tournaments all over the country. I remember the four years I played for him we played in more than 70 games each summer. That was more than triple the amount of games we would play in a normal school season with almost double the amount of playing time per player. Needless to say I had so many opportunities to learn, develop and grow as an athlete.

Team photo in the gym Hawaii 2003 (1)Anyone who understands the game of basketball (or any team sport for that matter) knows that there are certain rules that can limit your ability to perform like you want to. Fouling happens to be one of those rules, and I was a master at it. In basketball, you are only allowed five fouls per game and if you exceed that number you are then benched for the rest of the game. There was one tournament in particular we played down in Indiana. I believe we only had five players for that entire tournament which meant we had no back up subs for any of the games. And these tournaments are set up in bracket format – many of which were elimination brackets – meaning we could play anywhere from 3-6 games in a weekend depending how far we made it in the bracket. Nevertheless, it was risky only going down with five players in the middle of July when it was sweltering hot – we could have probably used a sub or two. When we arrived at the tournament, we were not prepared for the competition we were about to face. The little Kenosha Wildcats strutting in with our point guard standing at 5’5″ and our center at 5’11”. I still to this day don’t know what Indiana feeds their athletes, all I know is every time we played down there, the athletes were always bigger, stronger and faster than any girls I have ever seen. It was not uncommon to have our 5’5″ point guard defending a 5’10” point guard and our 5’11 center defending a 6’4″ center. We just never seemed to match up well!

Fast forward through the weekend and somehow we managed to make it to the championship game which was game #5. I remember everyone being exhausted but we were so determined to win that we somehow managed to find more energy to play the last game. We fought the entire way for every point, every steal, every defensive stop, every block and every rebound and we got to a point where the game was so close that the lead changed almost every possession. With only a few minutes left on the clock (in the lead) our center fouled out. That left us with four players on the court. Dave reminded me that I was also sitting at four fouls so I had to be careful not to commit my fifth foul. If you have ever played basketball under complete exhaustion then you would know sometimes you can’t control yourreferree movements. Going up for a rebound with only moments left on the clock, now down by just a couple points, I must have hip checked someone and the whistle blew. FOUL!! I couldn’t believe it – I was so angry with myself. The very thing I knew I shouldn’t do I did anyways. We were left with three players on the court, only seconds left and we were competing against five on the floor. We had lost the lead and the game.

At the time I had very little emotional intelligence. My selfish attitude is embarrassing to think about looking back but I remember not speaking the entire rest of the day or the entire drive home. And on top of that, I refused to accept my 2nd place medal because I believed that my mistake costed us the game. It was as if the 2nd place medal represented failure because I knew we were meant to win that tournament. The entire ride home I remember thinking about all the times I had been reminded about being in ‘foul trouble.’ How many times I had heard my coaches tell me, “Kristen, you are too aggressive, you have to learn how to control your body better.” How many games I was benched at half time because I had already gotten three fouls and needed to make sure I was still available for the rest of the game. I knew the mistakes I was making, I just wasn’t changing anything in order to fix the mistakes.

There are so many times in life when the time is running out, we are sitting at four fouls and our coach is telling us, “now don’t foul out!” We work hard, we play to win and then we make the same mistakes over and over and kick ourselves later because we never learned from our mistakes. For example: finances – all the bills are paid, there is money left in the checking account, we are putting away 10% in the savings every month and we are finally in the green. Happy to finally get the finances in order we are tempted by the Cadillac dealership on the way home from work one day so we stop in to check out the new cars in stock. The salesmen tells us that you can get this brand new… for no money down, great interest rate, cash back, great monthly payment etc and we walk away with a brand new car we can’t afford. It’s no different than getting a speeding ticket (when we know we shouldn’t be speeding), running late to things (when we know we should just leave earlier), preparing much sooner for projects (when we know procrastination only makes us more stressed and anxious), etc. There are so many examples I could share that relate to my basketball scenario. So why is it that we continue to make the same mistakes over and over again without learning or changing? We know we have the power to do it and we always know the outcome when the lesson is learned. I believe it’s a matter of intentional practice and changing our thinking in order to overcome these setbacks. Orrin Woodward says, “lesson repeated until lesson learned.”

LIFE founder Chris Brady recently wrote an article titled: Don’t Waste Your Failures that deepens this concept so much more. Success isn’t so much about not making mistakes, we will always continue to make mistakes but unless we are learning from them we will never grow. My mentor and LIFE founder George Guzzardo says, “True learning is a growth experience that often times requires a different perspective about failure.”

And I believe Rafiki, the wise monkey in the Lion King said it best to Simba, “You can either run from your mistakes, or learn from your mistakes.”

I pray for the wisdom to learn from my mistakes and bless others along the way on the journey.

“For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” Proverbs 24:16

God Bless,

Kristen

Your Smile Lights up a Room

09 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by in Friendship, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership

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“But the one who prophesies speaks to people for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort.” 1 Corinthians 14:3

Words can be weapons. Words can wound, humiliate and inflict pain far greater than any physical violence. Words can cause anger, declare war and destroy relationships. But just as potent as they are as weapons, words can also heal wounds and make peace. They can be soothing to those in grief and they can offer hope to those in despair. Indeed, well chosen words have a power and a beauty that can project eternally.

If words are so powerful, why don’t we choose them more carefully? It seems thatgossip-ducks our culture de-sensitizes us to the poison of gossip, rumors and de-edification. We have all been in that situation; sitting in the break room with co-workers as they ‘discuss’ the personal and private affairs of someone else. And it can be easy to get sucked into the conversation by even offering our own opinion about that person. But Orrin Woodward says, “As soon as you start throwing mud you dig yourself a hole.”

It wasn’t until I started associating with the incredible LIFE leadership community that I realized how powerful our words really are. Orrin Woodward, Chris Brady, George Guzzardo and all of the founders developed a culture of edification. It was something I had rarely experienced before! Instead of listening to others talk negatively about others, I was surrounded by people who only encouraged, uplifted and talked positively to and about others. I remember Orrin saying, “if it is not uplifting don’t give it light.”

In proverbs 11:25 it says, “He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” I read this great story (author unknown) that really shows us how powerful our words are.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first took at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Think of the last time someone encouraged you – whether it was a compliment, a pep talk, an inspiring story, a genuine smile or a warm hug. How did it make you feel? Now think of the last time you encouraged someone else – how did that make you feel? What if more people focused on edifying and encouraging others – setting their egos aside and putting their focus on loving others. It makes such a difference in the bond and relationships we have with people. I believe the more we edify and build others up, the more we grow in our relationship with Christ.

Here is a great video to encourage us as we go out and change the culture with our words and actions:

I thought this might be fun, please take a moment to give a compliment to someone you care about in the comments section below – make sure to state their name and how you know them and then refer them to this posting so they can read your comment. Your encouraging words will go such a long way.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

God Bless,

Kristen

Part 1: Trust God – When Your Plans Change

19 Wednesday Jun 2013

Posted by in Brain Tumor, Faith, Inspirational, Legacy, LIFE Leadership, Love

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“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

visionI was taught a principle several years ago in the LIFE community that in order to achieve success, long-term vision is necessary. Meaning, we must live in the present but always plan and see the future of where we are going. Imagine that you can see your life five years from now so clearly that it’s almost as if you are already living that dream. You can see the land you are living on with your family, the charities you are able to support, the people you are able to help and the lifestyle you are able to live. The dream is alive and well and there is absolutely nothing that can stand in the gap of where you are and where you are going. That’s where I was just months ago.

As some of you may know, I was diagnosed with a life threatening in-operable brain tumor about 6 months ago. At first I was in such denial that I didn’t want anyone to know about it because I was sure one day I would wake up and realize it was all just a bad dream. Or I would complete my treatment and it would all be over in just a couple months. Well, six months has gone by and having already been through 3 MRI’s with contrast, 6 weeks of radiation, daily chemotherapy, cocktails of medications, weekly blood draws, 10’s of thousands of dollars in medical bills and more doctor and pharmacy visits than I can even count the bad dream has suddenly become my reality. To say my long term vision is foggy would be an understatement. In fact, my vision and plans for the future has taken a complete 180 degree turn.

Since I have moved past denial and into reality, I have realized that like anything we go through in life, numerous lessons are learned along the way no matter what the situation. So this post will be the start of a series of posts that will reflect my journey of life lessons as God reveals them to me in the coming months.

Last Tuesday I started a new chemotherapy regimen in which I am required to complete a minimum of six rounds (cycles) over the course of six months and up to a year if needed. So for one week a month I’m hit with heavy doses of poison in attempt to shrink the tumor. As you can imagine, my options for treatment have been minimal. There is really no quick fix – but then again, is there ever? Prior to my first day of this new treatment I had to take a moment for myself to really gather my thoughts and think about my future. So as I normally do when I want to think deeply I walked to the river near my house and sat staring into the water. It’s the place I usually go to sit and read, pray and dream. Except this time my thoughts were much different – the sound of my doctor’s voice as he told me the laundry list of risks this drug carries now and in the future, the potential for this not to work, the fear of side effects this will cause, etc, etc. It was a defining moment when I could finally see how real this was. Then my thoughts turned to anger, frustration and sadness. My questions of WHY were never answered. I walked home feeling defeated and alone. Every other time I could go to my spot and I could sense God’s presence right there with me but this time He wasn’t there and it made my first week of treatment very unsettling.

When I played college basketball, every season my coach would tell us that we would have a week of tryouts that she called ‘Hell week.’ And anyone who ‘made it’ through the week without quitting or walking off the court was basically on the team. If cuts needed to be made after Hell week then she knew she had a strong group of athletes. I couldn’t help but reflect on those days during this last week of treatment. The physical, mental and emotional pain that we had to endure our first week of tryouts was strikingly similar to the first week of Hell I had to experience with my new treatment. Like basketball, there were moments when I just wanted to give up and quit; asking myself, is this really worth it?

When your vision and plan shifts so drastically and so quickly, you start to question so many things. It’s not uncommon to question yourself: did I do something that physically caused this? Did I sin in some way that this is God’s way of ‘getting me back.’ You start to question the doctor’s and hospitals: Are they really trying to help me or just fatten their checkbooks? Are they offering me the best care possible to get the best outcome? You start to question your faith: Is God really going to protect me and heal me? Is God really there or am I really just all alone? What I realized in my questioning is that such questions always arise when our life starts to change, whether that be good or bad – getting married, having a baby, beginning our spiritual walk, starting a business, going to college, getting a new job, re-locating to a new living arrangement, etc. And the only solution I have been able to find in my questioning is to trust God.

trustTrust God when you are walking down the aisle on your wedding day, trust God when you are signing the papers to your brand new home, trust God when you are holding your newborn baby for the very first time, trust God when you are laying in the hospital bed preparing for the scariest surgery of your life, trust God when you send your son or daughter off to college, trust God even when you can’t hear him answer, trust God with everything in your life because He is the only one that hold’s the answers to your questions.

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.” 1 Chronicles 16:11

God Bless,

Kristen

You Don’t Have to Find out You Are Dying to Start Living

22 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by in Brain Tumor, Faith, Inspirational, Legacy, Love, Relationships

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“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. ” Proverbs 27:1

Many people I come in contact with share similar experiences. We share feelings of love, kindness, empathy, sorrow, fear, hope and happiness. We share stories of dreams, struggles and victories. We also know we were created in the image of an amazing God who designed a specific plan and purpose for our life. While we are all different each in our own special way, we are also very much alike.

When I was teaching, I remember chatting with a student of mine who was graduating in just a few short months. She was so excited because she was accepted into her college of choice and was ready to grow up, get a college education, a real job and start a family. At 18 years old she had her entire life planned out. In fact, she was so focused on her future that she lost focus of the present. Her younger brother was a freshman and while I didn’t have him as a student, I knew of him because of what she shared. It was nearing the end of the school year and news became public that a freshman boy overdosed on prescription medications. It wasn’t fatal thank God but this student had left a suicide note next to the bottle of pills where his dad found him laying unconscious on his bedroom floor. This young boy happened to be the younger brother of my student. When I asked her if she had any idea that her brother was having such a hard time, her response was, “I guess I was just so focused on being done with high school I didn’t even pay attention. I had no clue he was struggling so bad.”

sunshine_through_clouds1-1024x768How many of us can share a story similar that reflects a time in our life when a situation stops us in our tracks and makes us re-evaluate our priorities? In fact, if you haven’t had something similar happen, I would venture to guess you live in a bubble. We are constantly being bombarded with obstacles that often times seem unresolvable and unexplainable. In fact, the challenges seem to be the most difficult when you are the most focused. I believe it is the enemy’s way of deterring us from God’s purpose. Unfortunately, many people break under the pressure and give up. They think that by giving in to failure, they are protecting themselves from future opposition and struggle. There are many things that are unpredictable, that I don’t understand and can’t explain but there are a few absolutes that I do know for sure; none of us are getting out of here alive and we will always be faced with obstacles no matter how significant or insignificant we choose to live our lives.

I recently heard this story about a 17-year-old boy who has changed lives (mine included) because of his story and his choice to live a life of significance in the face of impending death. This story moved me to tears and I would hope his legacy is worth 22 minutes of your time. Check it out:

When I heard that Zach passed away just two days ago on May 20th, 2013 at the age of 18 it took my breath away. We watch this video of this happy, talented, positive teenager, so full of life and love and knowing throughout the video that his condition is terminal, we want to believe that his story will be different. That it won’t end like every other story. He will be the exception and the miracle we desperately want to hear about. But he wasn’t, he was taken too soon and left this earth like all of us eventually will. As I was listening to Zach speak, I was so inspired by his strength during what most people would define as the most difficult time of one’s life.

What makes Zach so different from the rest of us is Zach made the decision to live even when he knew he was going to die. But what I found most inspiring was the fact that Zach didn’t just need a death sentence to finally start living, he never stopped living from the day he was born. So in his mind, at 17 years old he had lived a full life and had closure. He said he wanted to spend his last months making others happy and offering whatever he could to his loved ones so that they would have things to remember him by. How many of us, today, can say that if God took us tomorrow and we were shown the last few months of our life, that we would have peace and closure on how we lived it?

I will be the first to admit that I wouldn’t. It is when we hear stories such as this that we are again reminded to re-examine the way in which we are living our life. Benjamin Franklin said, “most people die at 25 and wait until 75 to be buried.” If life is so short, then why are so many people taking it for granted?

Orrin Woodward and Oliver DeMille talk about the five laws of decline in their bestseller, Leadershift. With that they explain the 90/10 concept of Sturgeon’s Law. That with anything 90% (or the majority) is crud and the remaining 10% is good. In leadership, George Guzzardo says that 90% of the people are not performing up to their true potential and 10% of the people are. And in life I believe  90% of the people are coasting through life just trying to make it to death safely, while the remaining 10% are choosing to live a life of significance and purpose. The question I have is, do you want to be part of the 90% or part of the 10%? As it has been said, none of us are getting out of here alive. But all of us have been given the gift of life. In the words of Zach Sobiech, “You don’t have to find out you are dying in order to start living.”

In remembrance of a courageous and inspiring teenager – R.I.P Zach – may we all strive to live as you lived.

“What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James 4:14

God Bless,

Kristen

Feed your Faith, Starve your Fears

07 Tuesday May 2013

Posted by in Faith, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership

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“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

Fear and insecurity manifest together. Most of us struggle with feelings of insecurity. That being said, leaders must commit to laying a foundation of strong personal security.

Security provides the foundation for strong leadership. When we feel insecure, we drift from our mission whenever trouble arises. We must feel secure, or when people stop liking us, when funding drops, when morale dips or when others reject or criticize us, we will crumble. If we do not feel secure, fear will eventually cause us to sabotage our leadership.

When I was teaching high school physical education, I had a plan to implement reading as part of our curriculum. My first run at this was rocky. I had ordered a specific book that was designed for teenagers to grow and develop themselves. I decided to only implement this program with freshman students so as not to overwhelm myself during this trial process. When I told my former colleagues my plan, they kind of rolled their eyes and wished me luck; each of them with their own opinion of course. Each student had their own book and at the beginning of each class period they would come to my cart, find their book and start where they left off each day, reading for 15 minutes every day. We had block scheduling so our class periods were 90 minutes long which left plenty of time for activity. After taking attendance, I would sit down and read with them for the allotted time frame. Then for 5 minutes we would have a short discussion on some of the content.

While it sounds like this plan was perfectly executed and well-intentioned, I can not tell you how many obstacles I had to face during that semester. I had faced a lot of criticism not only from my students but from administrators, colleagues and parents. However, I stood my ground and continued with my plan. After about a month, the chirping stopped and I was finally able to do my job. Being a new teacher to the school, I was fearful of what people would think of me. I was worried that my colleagues would think I was trying to out-do their classes by making my plan seem more intelligent. When other classes would be preparing for the days activities by warming up and stretching and my students came to class, grabbed their book and sat down on the floor to read, I couldn’t help but question myself, “am I doing the right thing?” My insecurities eventually faded as I could see the changes in my students behavior and personality. My mission and purpose was being carried out the way I had envisioned. By the end of the semester I was confident that I did the right thing.

What I realized from this experience was that as I felt like the insecure person, it may have been that other’s insecurities caused me to question my own beliefs and purpose.

Insecure people share several common traits:

  • They don’t provide security for others
  • They take more than they give
  • They continually limit their best people
  • They limit or sabotage their organizations success

insecurity

There are several common symptoms of insecurity:

  • Comparison – we compare ourselves with others and keep score
  • Compensation – we feel like a victim and must compensate for our losses
  • Competition – we become self consumed and try to outdo others
  • Compulsion – we feel driven to perform in order to gain others’ approval
  • Condemnation – we judge others or ourselves, resulting in self pity or conceit
  • Control – we feel we must take charge, protect our interests and manipulate

Effective leadership begins with an emotionally and spiritually healthy leader. Why must we focus on our personal security?

  1. Leadership must flow out of ‘being’ not merely ‘doing.’
  2. Strong character is necessary to sustain strong conduct.
  3. Insecure leaders cause their organizations to plateau.
  4. Personal security provides the infrastructure to support leaders in adversity.
  5. Insecure leaders will never empower and develop secure followers.
  6. Inward strength provides the only hope of finishing well.

When I think about leaders such as George Guzzardo and Orrin Woodward, I immediately can recognize their strength in being emotionally and spiritually healthy. They have established their identity in Christ, not in performance. They have allowed God to break them of self-sufficiency and self-promotion, thereby trusting only in God to lead them. And they have discovered and continually practice their God-given purpose in life.

love

If we want to develop security in our own lives, it is important to identify our basic human needs so that we know how to properly respond to these issues.

Human need #1: A sense of worth – if missing, we feel inferior.

Human need #2: A sense of belonging – if missing, we feel insecure.

Human need #3: A sense of purpose – if missing, we feel illegitimate.

Human need #4: A sense of competence – if missing, we feel inadequate.

In order to properly respond to these basic human needs, leaders should first settle the issues with God before they reach positions of influence. Our personal worth and security must come from our ‘secret history’ with God. We should never place our emotional health in the hands of another human being and we must release people from the expectation that they will meet our basic needs. We become healthy leaders only when we don’t expect others to meet the needs that only God can meet.

God equips each and every one of us to face our fears and develop strong personal security. In today’s world, we need people who are willing to develop themselves into leaders thereby reversing the cycle of decline and staying true to their convictions.

Leadershift, by Orrin Woodward and Oliver DeMille, was created for that purpose. George Guzzardo says, ” …wisdom is the real key to success…once people achieve a level of wisdom that leads to success, they crave more of it. This ties directly into leadership because wisdom is the cornerstone to influence.” Wisdom also gives us confidence in our beliefs, purpose and mission which directly effects our personal security. While our fallen nature will continue to cause fear and insecurity to surface, we need to remember that having faith and trusting in God to handle these fears will allow us to accomplish more things than we could ever imagine.

“Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right.” Max Lucado

God Bless,

Kristen

(Some content taken from John Maxwell Leadership Bible)

Keep Changing the World

14 Sunday Apr 2013

Posted by in Freedom, Inspirational, Legacy, LIFE Leadership

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I have always had a passion for giving back and serving others. I think if we all really reflect on our purpose we will find that deep down our purpose involves selflessness and servanthood.

giving backWhen we are living our purpose there is evidence all around us because not only are we more happy but those around us are happier. When I was in college I had an amazing blessing happen to me. I came home one day from school and there was a sealed envelope in my door. The front of the envelope read, ‘to the owner of this house.’ So, since I owned the house, I opened the envelope. Inside contained a letter and a $100 bill. I began to read the touching and beautiful letter and it contained the words, “random act of kindness,” “giving back,” “generosity,” ect. The only request from the sender was that I use the money to help my family and/or make a difference and help someone else. I was speechless that some stranger would leave $100 cash in someone’s door that they didn’t even know. I began investigating and asking all my friends if they did this or knew who did this. Everyone denied it and to this day I still don’t have any idea who wrote that letter and left that money.

I couldn’t possibly imagine using that money to pay a bill or give to a family member to pay a bill. Nothing like that has ever happened to me so I knew I had to do something great with it. At the time my basketball team was looking for an opportunity to give back to the community during the holidays. So after pondering on it for days we finally decided we would visit the local nursing/assisted living home in downtown Waukesha. We knew that the holidays were a tough time for them and that the residents must get lonely so we wanted to do something special for them. So with the money we visited the Dollar Store and purchased as much ‘stuff’ to fill as many goodie bags as we could. From notepads, to playing cards, candy, teddy bears, snacks, ect we must have been able to fill about 35 bags to hand out to residents. But even more fulfilling was not just handing out goodie bags to residents but the time we were able to spend with them. We met an elderly lady that was in a wheelchair and it happened to be her 100th birthday that day. You would have never known it because she had a mouth on her like a sailor and a smile on her face like a child. A group of 5 of us got our picture taken with her and her friend that day and several weeks later that picture appeared in the Waukesha Freeman, our local newspaper.  It’s amazing because I can look at $100 and realize I spend more than that in a week on gas for my truck. But the value of that $100 was priceless that day as we were able to stretch that out to make a difference and put a smile on many people’s faces. The entire process was so rewarding for myself and my team and it’s all because our hearts were focused on serving others and giving back.

I once read a quote, “love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.” Barbara de Angelis

rippleIn a society that appears to be selfish and complacent, I believe there are still millions of people who sense the need to make a difference. What perfect timing for the soon to be released best seller Leadershift. And our mission is so critical right now. LIFE founder George Guzzardo states, “Preservation of freedom and liberty has always required men and women to stand up and lead.” In addition to many important qualities, leadership requires a servant heart and a passion for change. I believe Orrin Woodward and Oliver DeMille are starting a movement with their new book. People will finally know what to do and how they can play their part in making a difference. Don’t miss the launch on Tuesday, April 16th and make sure to get your copy of Leadershift and let’s go out there and change the world together.

God Bless,

Kristen

Societal Degeneration in the West

01 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by in Freedom, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership

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America is experiencing a major decline.

Most people can feel it but few people are willing to do anything about it. What concerns me is the apathy we see with most individuals. It reminds me of middle school when a bully would kick a fellow classmates books into the bathroom and bystanders would see it and do nothing. What happens when people give up on caring? The result is a very selfish and dependent society.

Our country was built on a foundation of independence, morality, biblical truths, courage and backbone.

Our ancestors were some of the most independent people on earth. They spent months traveling across an unforgiving landscape, fought off Indians, built their own houses, ate the food they grew and carved out a life for themselves. Today, a large number of Americans are claiming that they’re incapable of paying for their own birth control. There are 47 million Americans on food stamps, which is an all-time high. That’s more than 1 out of every 7 Americans. Since 2008 more Americans have gone onto Social Security disability than the net number of jobs that have been created in that same time period. Most people are relying on the government to take care of them but the government can barely take care of itself.

The United States is over 16 trillion dollars in debt.

debtAnd subsequently each year we are adding a trillion dollars to that number. I recently heard on an audio through the LIFE business finance series that by 2020 the US will be on track to need 19% of the world’s GDP to fund our debt. It’s frightening enough to think that we could be that dependent on other nations just to continue to function, but it’s even more terrifying to realize that politicians have no intent of stopping there. They intend to keep the pedal all the way down to the floorboard until we run right off a cliff into hyperinflation. And what’s worse, the media encourages Americans to live selfishly and foolishly.

Entertainment in the US is in massive decay.

I personally don’t watch much TV. I prefer to get my entertainment by reading, writing and spending time with people. But for the majority of Americans, television is subconsciously listed under their priorities. I have heard a statistic that the average person watches four hours of TV a day. And what’s worse is knowing what’s actually on TV. Hollywood has desensitized people into thinking profanity, unfaithfulness, crime and scandal are okay. We can’t expect a generation of kids who are growing up in broken homes, never go to church and spending their formative years watching Jersey Shore, Honey Boo Boo and Family Guy to produce an overabundance of model citizens and leaders. It’s no surprise that if more people spent time reading for entertainment we would notice a rise in intelligence and common sense. In his recent article, A Literary Culture, George Guzzardo says, “We are finding that anyone taking the time to read 15 minutes a day can improve personal or professional aspects of their lives… We are hearing about those who have improved relationships and resolved personal conflicts. People are improving their work and home environment from improvements in their attitude and how they interact with others.” It comes back to the family. We must be the example for the next generation. Which means we need to teach our children that not only is it important to be strong and independent, to take control of our financial well being and to entertain ourselves in ways that are enriching and serving of others but that the sanctity of marriage is important.

The degeneration of a society starts in the home.

In the year 1900 the divorce rate in America was 8.1% while in recent years, it has hovered between 40%-50%. Additionally, the illegitimacy rate has gone up 300%. Nearly 4 out of 10 babies are being born out of wedlock. Marriage in America is going through a great depression style crisis and there is nothing on the horizon that seems likely to lift us out of this tailspin. Except of course a community of people who are courageous and willing to go against the grain and come together to educate the population about a Leadershift.

It is clearly obvious that the United States is degenerating before our eyes. But we can’t give up.

LeadershiftConfucius said, “To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” I believe that the American spirit is still very hopeful. While it appears that most people don’t care, I believe it’s only because most people don’t know what to do. That is why I get so excited about the soon to be released best seller Leadershift written by Orrin Woodward and Oliver DeMille. I truly believe this book will change the hearts of many Americans and it will inspire people to begin the personal growth process which will ultimately reverse the cycle of decline many Americans are experiencing. I am certainly not giving up on freedom. In fact, I am more convicted now than I have ever been. I would like to invite anyone who is concerned about this topic to pre-order Leadershift that will be released on April 16th and attend the special book signings Orrin Woodward and Oliver DeMille will be doing. Oliver will be in Costa Mesa, CA on April 16, Sacramento, CA on April 17, and Salt Lake City, UT on April 19 and Orrin will be in Madison, WI on April 16, Lansing, MI on April 17, London, ON Canada on April 18, Columbus, OH on April 19, and Camp Hill, PA on April 22. Let’s come together and support the launch as we take the LIFE business mainstream and regenerate our society.

God Bless,

Kristen

Perseverance, Keeping the Heart for the Battle

08 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by in Community and Leadership, Inspirational, LIFE Leadership

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“Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.” Julie Andrews

I recently talked to a relative I hadn’t heard from in years. It was an interesting and semi awkward conversation but ended positively. As we were catching up, she asked the question, “are you still doing that thing?” I proceeded to ask, “what thing?” She said, “you know, that business.” I said, “yes.” She said, ” Really? (with a shocked tone) How is it going?” I said, “Incredible!” She said, “you know Kristen, that’s something I have always admired about you, you never quit.” I said, “I appreciate that, but when you love something you never let it go.” She said, “but how can you love something like that?” I said, “It’s not about what it is, I can choose to do a lot of things that aren’t all that glamorous, it’s more about how you feel when you are pursuing it. It’s not just a business to me, it’s a way of life. It’s who I am. There’s so much more to it than just a business.” She said, “interesting, well I am happy that you are sticking with it.”

Perseverance is rare today. Alternatively, I could say quitting is too common today.

Most things are easy to start; a job, a sports team, a musical instrument, a church, a school, a business, a marriage, etc. But the problem lies not in starting something, but sticking with it.  I am not going to say that I have never quit anything. I have quit a lot of things; in fact way more things than I can even count. And I am not proud of it. But I have also learned along the way that quitting is the ultimate failure and if I wanted to stop failing, I needed to stop quitting. Orrin Woodward wrote an incredible article called, “Start Starting; Quit Quitting.” He says, “quitters never win and winners never quit. Despite the times when a person feels like quitting, ignore it and persist; despite the times when a person feels like a failure, ignore it and persist. Invariably, the biggest breakthroughs occur when the person refuses to quit notwithstanding the present dismal results. Persistence in a just cause through numerous failures builds character and determines whether a person joins the ranks of perpetual winners or perpetual quitters in life.” 

Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? The tortoise persevered despite his obstacles.

What happens with most people when they start something is they get bored. They start to fall into complacency and get distracted; they forget the reason they ever started. In the tortoise and the haretortoise and the hare story, the hare started out great. It came so easy to him until he got sidetracked. He thought success was assured. The tortoise on the other hand just kept plugging along, recognizing that in order to win the race he just had to keep going, keep persevering and stay focused. And ultimately, the tortoise won! We as humans fight the same battle as the hare. We are constantly distracted with outside influences that fall out of line with our plan and purpose. And instead of continuing to move forward, despite the distractions, obstacles and temptations, we quit the journey or just start something new. A cycle like this comes with constant disappointment and unfulfillment.

And sometimes we find ourselves trapped in something that doesn’t align with who we are or what we want to do. In situations like this, it makes it difficult to persevere.

We have to remember that time is the only thing we can’t get back. And while there are a lot of worthy endeavors to pursue, there are equally as many less worthy endeavors. I committed to a summer softball league for four years. I love sports and I love competition. So anytime I had the opportunity to join a team, I seized it. It started out as just a co-ed recreational semi-competitive amateur league (wow, what a mouthful). Our team wasn’t the best in the league but we weren’t bad. We just loved to win. Initially we had games once a week. Then we threw in a practice every week. Eventually we played in tournaments and spent time at the local corner bar that sponsored us. And before we knew it, we were committing a lot of time to this softball league. I was so committed that even after I moved from Kenosha to Waukesha, I would drive an hour two ways just to make our games and practices. While I don’t want to offend anyone if they are committed to something like this, I want to make a point that while it was fun, this type of commitment wasn’t really in line with the life I wanted to live. So we have to be careful and remember that when we start something, it should align with our purpose and priorities.

But when you do find that ‘something,’ never quit, persevere and give it all you got.

summer convention 2006

Summer Leadership Convention 2006

There is no greater feeling in life than winning. Although I should be more clear. There is no greater feeling in life than winning at something that matters. I joined the community building industry in 2006. At the time I didn’t know what impact it would have on my life. I didn’t have experience in working with people or building a business. But I was ALWAYS looking for something to be a part of. Up until that point, I hadn’t found that one thing that I knew I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I take that back…at the time I did. It was basketball. However, I knew I wouldn’t be able to pursue basketball for the rest of my life. But when Dave Chatmon and our little group found the TEAM, Orrin Woodward and George Guzzardo, our lives began to change. It wasn’t the business that started to change our lives, it was the community and the cause that the business supported. I had finally found something that could make a difference in people’s lives and that could make a difference in the world. It was worthy and fulfilling and something that I could be passionate about. I have found more recently that when people take a look at the-life-business they think, “wow, that’s attractive! I can see myself using this information and sharing it with others.” And it’s not until they discover their own testimony and hear the stories of success that people start to develop a heart for the battle. I feel the reason most people don’t persevere or persist long enough to reach a certain level of success is because many times the obstacles in the battle seem bigger than their reason to continue. Meaning, their dream or cause isn’t big enough. But when a person discovers that dream worth fighting for, there is nothing that can stop him. There is no obstacle big enough that can stop me from pursuing this cause. I have such a long way to go and this is a lifelong endeavor for me but I have developed a heart for the battle and I believe there is no greater worldly cause we can pursue than building a LIFE community.

God Bless,

Kristen